Second Chances
by Drew Michaels
Summary: *What if Ben Dixon did not die in the episode "Bursting Point"?* - *Chapter 25 - Will the mission get scrubbed in the wake of Barclay's death?* Sorry for taking so long on this cap. As always, please review/comment and thanks for reading.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA

Any songs or lyrics used are the property of the respective artists.

The setting is "What if Ben Dixon had not died in Bursting Point?"

This is my first attempt at fan fiction; constructive criticism is always welcome.

_This chapter has been revised and expanded._

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Blinded by the Light**

"Sorry I didn't give you any grandchildren, Mom."

Funny what kinds of thoughts run through a man's head when he's milliseconds from death. Ben Dixon could feel the rear of his Veritech beginning to crumple as the shockwave from the overload has reached the tail section. Ben wasn't afraid of death, but today was absolutely not a good day to die. His wing leader, Rick Hunter, was yelling "Ben! Hit your afterburners now! Do you copy?" All Ben can say in despair is "It's too late Rick! I can't …. AARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!", then everything goes white as the fireball overtakes his plane.

The scene jumps back to the beginning, but seems to have sped up.

"Sorry I didn't give you any…."

The sound of the shock wave catching up to Ben's Veritech.

The sick sound of crumpling metal.

Rick screaming "Ben! Hit your afterburners now! Do you copy?"

"It's too late, Rick...AARRGGGHHHHHHH!"

Nothing but white.

The scene is restarting, moving faster….

"Sorry I didn't give….."

Crumpling metal.

"Ben…afterburners…copy?"

"Too late…. AARRGGGHHHHHH!"

Blinding white.

Again, as if on a cosmic repeat, images flying by so fast you can hardly hear what is being said.

"Sorry…."

Crumpling.

"Ben…copy?"

"Too late...too late...too late…"

White.

Finally the end?

"Good God! Nurse, get this man back under! He's coming around and I'm not finished with the surgery!"

"Yes, doctor."

Darkness.

Untold hours, days, weeks of darkness went by. There was no sense of time in that state.

Rick Hunter was yelling "Ben! Hit your afterburners now! Do you copy?"

"It's too late Rick! I can't …..AARRGGGHHHHHH!"

There was the sound of crumpling metal and a blinding white light.

Ben's eyes popped open as he awoke, confused, not sure he was still alive. He was staring directly at a light fixture overhead; that explains the blinding brightness. He could barely raise his head to look around and saw he was in a hospital room, although the windows were dark. It was nighttime. My God! He wasn't dead! He really did punch the afterburners in time to race ahead of the fireball from the overloaded shield system! But he heard crumpling metal? Oh yeah, his Veritech did get damaged. He fell back asleep as his mind replayed the crash landing.

_**After the battle**_

"BEN!" Rick screamed in panic as he and Max dodged oblivion.

"It's OK boss, I think I made it," Ben replied weakly, "She's pulling away from that fireball, but the controls are sluggish. Can one of you check out my tail?"

"I'm on it Skipper!" Max jumped in, "Looks like your aft control surfaces are pretty bent up. Keep it level while I check out your underside."

"Roger Max. I'll try not to wobble around too much."

"What's it look like Max?" asked a concerned Rick.

"Not good skipper. It appears enough of the blast wave got to Ben's Veritech to mess things up. The port waldo arm looks like it's fused to the port engine assembly. Ben's Veritech won't be able to changes modes now."

"How's that new and different, buddy?" Ben groused sarcastic. His planes always seemed to take more than their fair share of battle damage.

"It's going to make landing a bit more difficult." observed Max, "It would have been better to shift into Guardian mode and land gently."

"Well, I'll radio ahead to Prometheus and let them know we'll need the crash carts." said a worried Rick '_And maybe an ambulance._'

Ben's Veritech was flying stable although it was still handling very sluggish; he still thought it was possible to bring it in for a landing. '_Hold together, damn you! Hold together!_' Ben silently prayed. The ground around the SDF-1 was devastated for miles in all directions, making ejecting from the crippled craft an option of extreme last resort. His was the last plane flying. With his Veritech still holding together but with the probability high for a crash landing, Control had decided to let everyone else land first. But now it was finally Ben's turn. It was difficult to turn and line up with the runway, but Ben managed to maneuver dead center of the approach zone.

"Alright Control. I'm starting my final approach. Tailhook is reading as extended. Do you have a visual on that?"

"Roger Vermillion 3. We have visual on the tailhook. Advise you try to hook one of the first arresting cables.

"Copy that Control." Ben replied. '_Phew. That will make life easier if I can snag one of the cables."_

Ben throttled down and extended what was left of his flaps and his landing gear. The only thing left to do was pray. Luck was with him so far; he was lined up dead center of Prometheus' flight deck. Ben eased the ship lower, trying to make sure he didn't descend too quickly and hit the ship below the flight deck. He glanced quickly to the side and saw his nose had cleared the edge of the decking. '_Now!_' Ben thought as he cut the power. The rear wheels bounced on the deck and the tail hook snagged the second arrestor cable…and was ripped off the plane from the shock. This caused the Veritech to bounce and when then landing gear hit the deck again the port main gear collapsed. The port wing bent up and tore away as the Veritech slid the length of the deck, finally coming to rest when the nose collided with the superstructure.

Emergency vehicles and crew raced to where the wrecked plane had stopped. Ben was unconscious but still alive and looking severely injured, especially his right leg. The crews worked quickly to free him, but it still took almost twenty minutes before they were able to extricate him from the crumpled mess that was left of his plane and get him on a stretcher. From there it was only a couple of more minutes to Sickbay where a trauma team was waiting for the ambulance. It took less than a minute to triage Ben and rush him into surgery. Now it was up to the doctors.

Everyone on the bridge had been crossing their fingers and praying that Ben could make it back to the ship, and were about to breath a collective sigh of relief when the tail hook snapped off. The entire bridge crew heard the squeal of tortured metal and the sick crunch when the plane came to a sudden stop and many faces turned pale. One junior office with raven hair and violet eyes had put her hands in her face when Ben had begun his final approach; she couldn't bear to watch. Now all she could do was weep openly as everyone else gathered around to comfort her. She didn't stop crying until news reached the bridge that Ben had made it out of surgery and was recovering in Intensive Care.

* * *

Author's note: I picked Ben Dixon to feature in a story for two reasons: 1) After reading a number of the stories posted here, his character seemed to have the most blank canvas on the easel. 2) I probably was Ben when I was the same age: tall with a goofy sense of humor and an unshakeable sense that I was better than I really was.

Also much thanks to Hung Nguyen and their story Aces of Hearts. Although not a major character in that story, there was still enough of Ben there to get a better understanding of the character and his background.

Chapter title is a lyric from the song _Blinded by the Light_ by Manfred Mann.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA

_This chapter has been revised and expanded._

* * *

**Chapter 2 – A Little Help From My Friends**

After going right back to sleep, Ben woke up the next day early afternoon when the hospital staff came to check the cast on his right leg. His stomach grumbled. He couldn't help thinking '_How long has it been since I last ate? I wonder what happened to that steak dinner I couldn't finish before we scrambled? I really hope I didn't miss lunch._' Ben had no idea how long he had been unconscious before waking during the previous night.

"Knock knock. You up for a visitor?"

Ben turned his head and couldn't help smiling at the site of his commanding officer, Lt. Rick Hunter.

"Hey there Boss. Come on in, I have a little free time."

"I came over as soon as I could when I heard you were finally awake." Rick said with a concerned tone, "The nurse on duty said you were pretty banged up. You had lots of internal injuries and your leg was messed up too."

Ben couldn't help responding with his trademark goofy grin "Meh, spleens are over-rated." Then taking a bit more serious tone "I should be able to get back to duty, sir, although the doctors did say it might take several weeks of rehab until that leg is good enough to go."

"That's good Ben. I'll make sure all the paperwork is set for you to have some medical leave. Try not to stay laid up too long though, OK? Some of the other jokers in the squadron will think that all you have to do to get some time off is to get injured." A smirk crossed Rick's face as he finished.

"Aw, shucks. I guess I can't milk it now, can I?" Ben said with a devilish grin."Heck, you know I can't stay away from flying too long."

Rick returned his grin, "Yea, I know. Flying gets to be as necessary as breathing air for us pilots."

Suddenly, a commotion swept through the door. "Where is my darling Benjamin?" It could only be Mom and Dad, followed closely by Ben's squadron mate Max Sterling. Mrs. Dixon walked right up to Ben's bed and smothered him in hugs. "I was so worried about you! Your father and I couldn't get a straight answer from any of the doctors!"

"Ouch! Ma! Ouch … injured person here!"

"Your mother was worried to death." Mr. Dixon raised his eyebrows and finally spoke, "The least you can do is let her give you a few hugs. You can probably give him a little air now though Lois."

"I don't think you're going to win this one, big brother." observed Max. Although not brothers by blood, Max and Ben had virtually grown up together to the point that when Max's parents were killed several years ago, Max went to live with the Dixons. Rick couldn't help but smile; it was the same way that things had been between Roy and himself. Maybe that was why the three pilots of Vermillion group got along so well.

"Ah, Commander Hunter" Rick whirled at the sound of the thick Russian accent "It is good to see young Mr. Dixon awake and well."

"Yes Captain Gloval, we're all glad to see Ben up, if not actually about."

"I cannot stay long. I merely want to wish Lt. Dixon a speedy recovery."

"Excuse me sir" Ben piped up "but I'm only a corporal."

"You are a corporal now, but when the doctors have cleared you to return to duty you will assume the rank of 3rd Lieutenant." The Captain said with a fatherly smile as he started for the door. "Congratulations Lt. Dixon and get well quickly. I would stay and chat but I am needed back on the bridge."

Ben's parents beamed with pride at the news and everyone was congratulating Ben on the promotion and Ben himself was grinning ear to ear. "Geez, I hope I don't have to crash every time I want a promotion."

A few minutes after the departure of Captain Gloval, a whirlwind of female voices blew into Ben's hospital room. The Terrible Trio, Vanessa Leeds, Sammy Porter, and Kim Young, had come down from the bridge and they were staggering under the weight of a huge gift basket filled with fruit.

"Hey girls, you must have read my mind! I'm starving!" chimed Ben.

"We know" the girls said in unison.

"You're always hungry" Kim observed.

"We thought you would appreciate this more than a few flowers" ventured Vanessa.

"You better be sharing!" squealed Sammy as she reached for an apple.

"So, how long do you have to stay in here Ben?"

"You must be happy to still be in more or less one piece."

"Oh my god! Was that Captain Gloval we saw leaving here? What did he say to you?"

The girls peppered Ben with questions for what seemed an eternity and jumped for joy when they heard of Ben's promotion, but after only about fifteen minutes a nurse came in and announced that visiting hours were over for the ICU, letting everyone know that Ben would need quite a bit of rest to get the healing process going well. At the nurse's urging, the throng of guests started making their way to the door of Ben's room. Except for one raven haired young lady that is.

Kim hung back as the others left, gave Ben's hand a squeeze, and told him in a loving but teasing voice "Get better you big Klutz." and kissed his forehead. Ben could see the obvious affection in her eyes but also the dark rings that only come from lots of crying. He answered with a squeeze of his own and a merry twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes ma'am. Shall I consider that an order?" he said with a quick half salute.

"You are incorrigible Corporal Dixon." she said with an exasperated tone before kissing him again.

He could hear the rest of the Trio giggling in the hallway, getting ready to tease their tardy third member.

* * *

Author's note: If Ben can live, why can't one of the Trio have a little bit of luck with men? Just saying.

Chapter title is a lyric from _With a Little Help from My Friends_ by the Beatles.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA

_This chapter has been revised and expanded._

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Please allow me to introduce myself**

As the room slowly returned to a quiet state, Ben couldn't help but close his eyes and think back to when he had first met Kim and the rest of the Trio. Like the majority of people in Macross City, Ben and his family had moved here after the discovery of the alien battle fortress. Unlike a good number of people, they weren't here to work directly on repairing and refurbishing the mighty ship; they were here to make a new life for themselves by being entrepreneurs in the small island's economy.

It had been several months before the celebration commemorating the activation and commissioning of the now completed SDF-1.(1) Ben was working with his Mom in their family's dry-cleaning shop when they heard the tinkle of the bell on the front door announcing customers.

"Ben, I have my hands full. Could you go and take care of these customers?"

"Sure thing Mom."

Ben exits from the back room, walks up to the counter, and discovers three cute girls waiting at the front counter for service. "How can I help you ladies?"

"Hello" says the one with black hair "We've just been assigned here to the SDF-1 and your shop was recommended to us."

"We each have several uniforms that need cleaning and pressing" chimed in the tall one with brown hair and glasses.

"And you better be able to get them back to us fast!" glared the short blond.

Ben quickly sized up the young girls as he explained the shop's services to them. None of them could be more than a couple of years older than he was and he was almost old enough to enlist in the military. He couldn't help thinking they were all cute but that little spitfire seemed way too brash and pushy while the tall one with the glasses seemed way too shy. The first one seemed kind of nice though, not flighty at all…just right, you might say. And she had the most beautiful raven colored hair and stunning violet eyes.

"Well you've come to the right place ladies. We specialize in military uniforms and we also have a rapid return service. When did you need your uniforms back?"

"We would like next day service, please." Piped up the first one "Our first duty shift isn't until Thursday, but I think it would be a good idea to be able to get our uniforms back tomorrow."

"We should have no problems getting them ready for the three of you by this time tomorrow. Just step up to the counter and I can take your information. Are then any special instructions or stains we need to worry about?"

"No, I don't think so." The brown haired one opined. She gave her name as Vanessa Leeds.

"They really just need freshening. These uniforms have been in our luggage since we left our last posting." Said the raven haired beauty with those eyes….those deep violet eyes. She was Kim Young and Ben couldn't help staring, her eyes were such an unusual color. He could really get lost in them.

"AHEM!" The feisty blond, Sammy Porter, was waiting her turn. "Hurry it up there! We have places to be!"

"Sorry" Ben said as he finished the last transaction, "Do you all have your claim tickets?"

"YES!" They all chimed with a giggly laugh.

"Alright then, it was nice to meet you ladies and remember, my name is Ben Dixon of Dixon's Dry-cleaning." Ben had his best grin on. His Mom always said being pleasant to the customers and listening carefully was the best way to provide superior customer service.

"See you tomorrow!" sounded another unison chorus.

"It was nice to meet you." said Kim solo, a little twinkle in her eyes. Then the three of them left the shop giggling.

"I really hope they become regular customers." thought Ben, realizing that this trio was probably very inseparable.

* * *

Out on the street, making their way to the next destination on their list of errands, the girls, who had earned the nickname Terrible Trio at their last posting, had a lively chat going.

"If all the boys on this island are like him, we are going to have a GREAT time!" Sammy chattered excitedly.

"I don't know. He didn't seem too smart." said Vanessa, who was always shy around men.

"Oh Vanessa, he is a very intelligent boy. You could see it in his eyes if you bothered to look." Kim shot back, "Those wonderful steel gray eyes of his." She continued in a dreamy tone.

Sammy couldn't believe it! "Are you kidding? We haven't even been here a full day and you've already gotten a crush? Life is so unfair!" she said with a pouting tone.

"Well, I don't know about crush, but he was cute." Kim chuckled.

"C'mon", Vanessa interjected, "Let's go eat some lunch before we get to the next thing on the list."

"YEAH!" the others yelled, locking arms with their companion and dragging her down the street to a café Kim had spotted, the three girls a veritable tornado of energy.

* * *

Author's note: I took some liberties with the characters' eye colors, especially Kim's. Her eyes look that color to me when I watch the episodes with close-ups of her face..

(1) Several months before the events of _Boobytrap_.

Chapter Title is a lyric from _Sympathy for the Devil_ by the Rolling Stones.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA

_This chapter has been revised and expanded._

* * *

**Chapter 4 – Relax, don't do it.**

The week in the hospital passed too quickly for Ben's taste; he was enjoying the attention, that's for sure. Commander Hunter had come by the day before to confirm that everything was all set for Ben to be out on medical leave. "I better not catch you hanging around the barracks or the flight line until the doctors clear you to resume duty, you got it?" teased Rick. He knew Ben loved to fly almost as much as he did and it was killing Ben to be unable to get in his Veritech for such a long time.

"Aye, aye Skipper." Replied Ben with a sloppy salute and his trademark grin, "That won't be an issue until they take this darn cast off. Until then, I don't have any choice but to stay put and rest."

Ben's parent met him in his hospital room the day of his discharge; it was going to be nice to spend a few weeks at home with them. And it will be much more comfortable with this cast compared to the barracks. '_The only trouble will be getting used to these crutches_' thought Ben.

"I'm beginning to wonder if I am a klutz" he said out loud, balancing a little unsteadily.

Mrs. Dixon verbally supported her son, "Don't worry so much. You're telling me you can pilot one of those big fancy fighter planes yet you can't handle a pair of crutches?"

"Mom!" groused an exasperated Ben.

"I'm just saying the low tech should be much easier to handle, that's all."

"Fine, but if I face plant I don't want to hear a peep out of you." Ben said glumly.

"Would I peep?" she replied in her most motherly tone.

They all started laughing as they left the room and headed toward the car.

* * *

Ben looked out at Macross City as they wound their way through the great ship, still amazed they were able to transplant everything to the interior and that the ship was massive enough to handle the influx of civilians. He had heard during his hospital stay that the Ontario Quadrant had rescinded their offer of sanctuary for the civilians in the aftermath of the battle he had gotten injured in and that made him really worry about his parents and the rest of the civilians on board. What if the SDF-1 was severely damaged in the next big battle? He hoped that his leg finished healing quickly. He had to get back flying; it was the only way he had to protect his parents.

Before long they pulled up to his parent's house and he began the mundane tasks of getting in the house and getting settled in. The stairs were going to be an issue; that might mean sleeping on the couch for the first few days. Ben wasn't sure about showering either, although he thought he heard the doctor mention the cast was waterproof fiberglass. At least mealtimes wouldn't be too hectic; Ben could sit fairly normally in one of those types of chairs and the downstairs bathroom was pretty roomy so he wouldn't have to leave his crutches out in the hall.

It was becoming very obvious that until that cast did come off Ben wouldn't be able to do much more than sit around the house. Well, at least he had time to think about things now. Things like Kim and flying and the crash and Rick and Max and training and … Kim. It was nice when they had started dating, but he wasn't sure where things were heading. Not an easy idea to get a hold of when your girlfriend is part of such an inseparable group as the Terrible Trio. Ben hoped things would get more seriously between him and Kim but he wasn't sure how to tell they were moving in that direction. '_Maybe Rick had some suggestions?_' he thought.

More than a few people would be surprised at the idea of Ben thinking. Being 6'3" tall, which looked huge compared to Lt. Hunter's 5'8", and well muscled with a perpetual grin on his face, people usually thought Ben was just another dumb jock. That never bothered him when strangers thought that because his friends knew differently. Dumb jocks didn't tend to make it through Veritech training. And stupid pilots definitely didn't make it through their first battle unless they were extremely lucky.

Ben did wonder sometimes if he fell into the "stupid, but lucky" category, but anyone would feel that way having to fly with Rick Hunter and Max Sterling day in and day out. Ben was no slouch in the cockpit but he knew he wasn't in the same league with those two yet; he began to wonder if he ever would catch up with his friends. His two wing mates had to be the two best pilots in the RDF; Ben was hoping that made him the third member of an elite trio, although some critics would argue he should be in that patrol wing. Ben was determined that when he was healed enough, he would make sure his skill brought him up to at least Rick's level.

There was also a certainly a bit of luck watching over him, since Ben's planes always seemed to be a bit more shot up than some of the other pilots. That usually wasn't such an issue, since he always made it home to base, at least until that last mission. He was still alive and still had a chance to improve his piloting skills so that counted for something. '_Besides,_' he mused, '_At last I haven't been shot down as frequently as Lt. Hunter used to be._' Ben suppresses a chuckle before he starts to study a Veritech technical manual. "No time like the present to start getting better." he mutters to no one in particular.

* * *

Chapter title is lyrics from _Relax_ by Frankie Goes to Hollywood


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – My destiny to be the King of Pain**

Three weeks after his release from the hospital Ben went in for a follow-up appointment and got the good news: the cast was coming off today! The doctor told Ben he would need to wear a brace for a few more weeks, but no more crutches! Those crutches had been the bane of his existence for almost a month. There was nothing else stopping him from beginning his rehabilitation either. The doctor told Ben to start out easy and begin with exercises to strengthen his injured leg. He even recommended time on a stationary bicycle as a great way to get back strength and flexibility. After setting up the necessary rehab appointments and receiving a leg brace, Ben shook the doctor's hand and walked out of the hospital much happier than he hobbled in.

His first rehab session was for that afternoon and the physical therapist had Ben right on the stationary bike. Starting at a slow pace, he gradually worked up a good sweat. But his right knee was in agony. It had gotten as banged up as the rest of his leg; the surgeons had to repair his patellar tendon. But even with the pain, Ben noticed he had a decent range of movement. Not bad for not bending his leg for a month!

The bike only sessions continued for four more days before the physical therapist started adding some weight training to Ben's regimen. His knee started throbbing all over again, having to adjust to the new exercises. His body has never hurt this much after any exercise come to think of it. This rehab stuff was actually going to be tougher than boot camp.

That thought brought a smile to Ben's face. He could still remember going down to the recruiter's office with Max when they were both finally old enough to enlist. And he was very proud of himself; he had gotten a record breaking score on the Veritech simulator when all the potential recruits got screened. Or at least it would have been record breaking, if Max hadn't obliterated the record mere moments before Ben finished his simulator session. Someone else would have been livid at Max for that, but Ben was truly happy for his friend, a friend who had been more like a little brother the past five years. Ben even called Max "little brother" sometimes. Five years ago was when Max's parents had been killed. Ben's parents didn't think twice before bringing poor Max into their home.

* * *

They were placed in the same training platoon and did all their training together. There were classes on the Veritech, not just on flying it but also on understanding the mechanicals and electronics. Some joker in the back of the classroom yelled out "Why do we need to know that? We're going to be pilots!" The instructor gave that boy in the back a steely stare and told him "There will be a time you may all make it out of here to be pilots, but there will also be a time where you will be down behind enemy lines with a damaged Veritech and you will somehow need to make a field repair while under fire. The last thing I want to hear out of your mouth at that point will be 'But they never taught us how to fix these! Where's the mechanics?'"

There was also physical fitness training and the usual soldiering drills, most of which occur on the large parade grounds. Max and Ben's platoon was there one day, learning how to make a leaping attack from high ground, a tower in the case of the training exercise. While the two of them waited their turns, Ben spotted the Trio walking along the fence bordering the parade grounds.

Ben jabbed max in the ribs and pointed, "There are those girls that are always coming into Mom and Dad's dry-cleaning shop. Watch me impress them!" Max smiled, because he knew Ben really only wanted to impress one of the girls, the one with the raven hair and violet eyes.

"I don't know," said a skeptical Max, "Wouldn't it be better to pay attention to doing the drill correctly?"

"Ah, you know I can do both!" grinned an irrepressible Ben. Max just shook his head; he knew better.

Ben's turn was next and he couldn't help yelling "Hey girls! Check this out!" His form on the leaping portion of the attack was actually very good, but in his enthusiasm, Ben had leapt farther and higher than he had ever tried before. This wound up leading to a total disaster on his landing. Ben's feet hit the ground in the proper position, but his more energetic leap caused him to carry too much momentum into the second phase of the attack. He pitched over forward in a violent face plant.

"Did you see that?" yelled Sammy brashly, "He's such a big klutz! What a doofus!"

"Boys should never show off if they can't pull off the trick" gasped Vanessa, spitting out the words between several side-splitting guffaws.

Ben had finally pushed himself into a sitting position. "I'm OK." He said groggily.

He looked over at the Trio, who were having a hearty laugh at his expense. At least two of them were. The third, Kim, was merely smiling with an amused twinkle in those stunning violet eyes of hers. And when Ben finally was able to focus his eyes and could look straight at Kim, she gave him a quick wink and a smile before turning to catch up with her companions, who were still laughing loudly as they walked away.

"Well," thought Ben with a big grin, "That really didn't turn out too bad after all."

* * *

Chapter title is lyrics from _King of Pain_ by The Police


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmon Gold USA.

(Note: Fixed some spelling and formatting errors. 11-11-12)

* * *

**Chapter 6 – It's a wonderful night for a Moondance.**

The long grueling weeks of rehab passed slowly for Ben as the SDF-1 was forced to go back into space by the United Earth Government. The time was well spent though, as the doctors finally gave Ben clearance to resume flight duties. The relief showed instantly on his face when his primary care doctor signed the final paperwork. Ben could climb back into a Veritech tomorrow! He called Kim with the good news and she suggested they go out for dinner to celebrate.

Ben met Kim at her quarters, where they proceeded to take a cab into town. Ben insisted they go to his favorite steakhouse. "I had to leave a steak uneaten because of that last mission so I have a score to settle with that piece of beef!" Ben couldn't help but laugh at that thought. Good food was just another way to enjoy life.

After being seated and ordering, Ben his usual (an extra large sirloin, medium rare) and a petit filet mignon for Kim, the young couple sat chatting about the day.

"This worked out great tonight Ben. I didn't want to stay home bored and you had something to celebrate!"

"I'm sorry Vanessa was sick and I can't believe Sammy had to work an extra shift tonight."

"Yes, we've all been very busy since Cmdr. Hayes went down to Earth(1), but especially Sammy, since she's Lisa's primary back-up"

"Really? Cmdr. Hayes went dirt side? No wonder Cmdr Hunter has been moping around worse than usual lately! I'm beginning to wonder if Rick is a little sweet on Cmdr Hayes."

"Well I wish Cmdr Hunter would tell her if he is! All of us on the bridge can see Lisa has fallen hard for him. She's just been too scared to tell him how she feels."

"Well it wouldn't surprise me if she and the Skipper were in love with each other. They already argue like an old married couple on the TACNET."

The young couple shared a warm laugh at that thought. They really were each fond of their superior officers and hoped fate would smile on Rick and Lisa as it had smiled on them. Ben couldn't help thinking, '_Who knows if the two Commanders will get the same second chance Kim and I've gotten_.' A few days after Ben had been released from the hospital he went and met Kim for coffee. She confessed that when she had first come to the hospital she was in tatters. Even the other members of the Trio didn't know how devastated she was that Ben was injured. Kim told Ben point blank that her emotions were running from pure joy that he was alive to pure anger that he had gone and gotten himself injured! But most of all, she told him that she loved him and she no longer cared if everyone knew. No more guessing, no more games just total honesty on her part. For his part, Ben knew he had a crush on Kim from the first day they had met in his parent's dry-cleaning shop. And when Kim told him she loved him, he realized that what he felt for here was much more than a simple crush. He loved her too. That made dinner much sweeter, especially when he (yet again) stared straight into those stunning violet eyes of hers.

* * *

It was too early to go home after they left the restaurant so they began walking around town trying to decide what to do. It was a great night for a walk as the EVE holographic program had put up a wonderful full moon tonight.

"Ooh! Can we go dancing tonight Ben? Pleeaaassee?" begged Kim, trying to give Ben a pout and puppy dog eyes at the same time she was trying not to jump up and down in utter excitement.

"Sure, I think going dancing would be a fun way to test my leg out. I do like to boogie, even if I'm only one thousandth as good a dancer as you. Your favorite club is close by too; we can easily walk there!"

'YAY! Let's get going!"

Around 8:45pm their walk had taken them past the park in town. Ben noticed a lone but familiar figure waiting by the fountain as a wry smile spread across his face, "If I didn't know better, I'd swear that was Max standing over there."

"Hmm. I think you're right Ben. Why don't we stop and say 'Hi' while we're right here. We've got plenty of time to get to the dance club." Kim said with as big a grin as Ben's.

"Yoohoo! Hi Max!" waved Kim.

"Well 'Hello' yourselves. What are you two doing tonight?"

"We just had dinner and now we're going dancing. How come you're hanging out here by the fountain little brother?"

"Believe it or not, I'm waiting for my date to show up.(2)" Max said proudly. "I met her earlier today when I dragged Rick out to that arcade you and I like to hang out at. I had been seeing her all over town the past several weeks and I was amazed I finally got to talk to her. I even got to play a game against her. I'm sorry the Skipper was so down in the dumps, but I'm glad I dragged him to that arcade."

"Ha, I hope this girl lasted longer than I do against you in that game. It's too bad about Rick, but Kim and I figured out why he's been in a funk recently. It's because Cmdr Hayes went down to Earth."

"I've been wondering that myself. Good to get some confirmation there about the boss."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, the two of us better get going to the dance club. I don't want us scaring your date off."

"Don't worry; I have faith she'll show up. You two run along and have a good time. Maybe I'll run into you later."

* * *

"Well that was sweet to see Max." Kim said in a dreamy voice.

"Yeah. Who'd a thunk Max would be having a date tonight. I'm happy for him." Ben said with his usual grin.

"It certainly went smoother for him than it did for you the first time you tried to ask me for a date."

"Don't remind me," said Ben in a pained voice."It was impossible to get within five feet of you, the way the three of you gals always seemed to be together. You guys were definitely the 'Terrible Trio' that night."

"Oh come on. I wasn't that bad."

"Are you sure we're both remembering the same night?"

Both walked on toward the dance club, with Ben really thinking hard about the night he first tried to ask Kim out.

* * *

(1) This takes place during the episodes _Showdown _and_ Wedding Bells_.

(2) Possibly a certain Quadrano Leader? ;-)

Stay tuned next chapter as we hear the story of how Ben asked Kim out.

Author's notes: In case none of you have noticed yet, my chapter titles are song lyrics. The songs themselves don't really have any significance, but the individual lines just seemed to be perfect descriptions of what I was hoping to tell. I will try to have a compendium of all those I use by the end of this tale.

All songs and lyrics are the property of the respective artists and record companies.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Moondance_ by Van Morrison


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – I'm winking at you.**

It wasn't something he expected to reminisce about with Kim tonight, but boy,what memories…of a total fiasco. Things definitely did not go smoothly the night Ben tried to ask Kim out on a date. At least it seemed that way at the time.

* * *

The weeks leading up to that night started off well enough for Ben. Both he and Max had graduated from boot camp and were assigned together to a new Veritech squad, Vermillion group, and their commanding officer was going to be Lt. Rick Hunter, the hero of Mars Base! Everyone got introduced in Cmdr Fokker's office and Ben couldn't help noticing how awkward Lt. Hunter looked. Ben found out later that Rick had literally gotten promoted to Lieutenant only seconds before he and Max walked into that office.

"I'm honored to be serving under your command Lieutenant. Corporal Ben Dixon reporting, and while I'm around I assure you nothing will go wrong!"

Ben remembered giving a hearty laugh in the office that day. He could only shake his head and chuckle looking back at how much confidence (or was that cockiness?) he had back then.

"Glad we're going to be on the same team. I'm Corporal Max Sterling Sir. Call me Max. I'm very inexperienced and might be needing a lot of help."

That introduction was so typical for Max. Ben knew how good Max could be and always though Max was too humble for his own good.

Their first action as a squad came only hours later as Zentraedi battle pods began to swarm the SDF-1. That's when the fiasco started. Vermillion group was tasked with guarding Sector 4, a quiet spot in the defensive perimeter. Ben was chafing for action and longed to go charging toward where he thought the action was. Lieutenant Hunter had to strongly remind Ben exactly what their orders were. Good thing too…another larger group of enemy pods starting attacking Sector 4! '_Alright!_' thought Ben, '_this is what we've been waiting for!_' He hit the thrusters, charged the enemy…and began to fly as horribly as humanly possible. That memory made Ben grimace. He had never flown that poorly before or since. Why did he have to screw up his first mission? He didn't shoot down one single battle pod that day and his Veritech wound up heavily damaged from enemy fire. Luckily Max had shot down enough for the two of them; it made the sting of wounded pride easier for Ben to handle.

Thankfully, things went smoother for Vermillion group after that. Ben quickly began flying up to his potential and had made "ace" after only a week, getting two battle pods in the most recent skirmish. Max said the team should go celebrate and he would be buying. "You've earned it big brother!"

"Huh, that's kinda interesting," Lt. Hunter chimed in, "that's what I call Cmdr Fokker sometimes. He and I have known each other for a very long time and he treats me like I really was his little brother. Did you guys know he used to be part of my Dad's Flying Circus?"

"Honestly Sir, I never knew your family had a flying circus or that Cmdr Fokker was part of it." said Max with a touch of awe.

"That's really cool Sir! You're right though. I think I've known Max for what seems like forever. He really is like a little brother to me."

"It's always good to have people you can count on in your life." Rick said with a smile. "I agree a celebration is in order and as your commander, I should at least buy the first round or two."

* * *

After a quick dinner in the mess hall, the three Veritech aces took a taxi to one of the popular dance clubs. Max and Rick were a little hesitant, since neither thought they were any good at dancing, but Ben insisted. "It's my celebration and I really want to celebrate where there are going to be lots of girls!"

"Girls, huh?" Rick said with a smirk.

"Sure Skipper! They should go crazy over a bunch of Aces like us."

There was a bit of a line at the door, but it was moving quickly, especially for the three pilots, who happened to still be in uniform. It was a bit crowded inside the club, but not packed like sardines, so there was plenty of room to maneuver to a small table next to one of the walls.

"Isn't this great sir? Have you ever seen so many girls in one place?" exclaimed an irrepressible Ben.

Rick shook his head with a chuckle and told Ben "Go get 'em, fly-boy! Attack formation Alpha"

Max chuckled along as they watched Ben wade into the crowd, looking for a dancing partner. Before you know it, Ben was out on the dance floor, whirling around with a different girl each song.

"Hey boss, it looks like Ben wasn't kidding about wanting to celebrate."

"Tell me about it Max. Where does he get the energy? I would have collapsed from exhaustion a couple of songs ago."

"He's always been like this sir. Ben just enjoys life to the fullest."

Finally even Ben needed a break and wandered back to the table where Max and Rick were. There really were more girls than he had ever seen before but he really hoped he was going to see one particular girl. Ben had asked around and knew that this was the favorite club of the Trio and he kept straining his neck for a glimpse of them.

Ben was in luck! The Trio _**was**_ coming there tonight! In fact, they were waiting in line to get in. He hardly saw them now that he was a pilot and not spending any time at the dry-cleaners. Ben's grin would have gotten even wider if he could have known how close they were to entering the club. And boy, did they make an entrance.

"Party time!" the girls yelled in unison as they marched arm in arm through the entrance door. It had been as tough a week for the bridge crew as it had been for the pilots and the Trio always seemed to be on duty whenever Vermillion group was on flight operations. Tonight was finally some time off and the three young women needed to unwind in a big way. Their favorite song was playing when they made their entrance and they practically ran to the dance floor arms waving in the air to the beat of the music.

That's when Ben finally saw them. With a big grin, he announced, "Tally ho! Bogeys spotted!" and made his way out to the dance floor toward the Trio. Max and Rick laughed along with Ben and wished him luck.

"Hey look," Vanessa shouted to the other two girls (it was pretty noisy on that dance floor), "here comes that boy we used to see at the dry-cleaners."

"And he's wearing a uniform!" exclaimed Sammy

Kim took a quick look and her eyes sparkled when she saw him. She had to admit that Ben did look pretty sharp in his uniform, as cliché as that sounded.

"Helloooo ladies!" Ben announced when he finally got next to them "You ready to boogie with the newest RDF ace?" He had his chest puffed out like he had seen Cmdr Fokker do a few times and strutted around like a rooster.

"Are you serious?" Sammy barked, wagging a finger at Ben, "Why does every pilot in the universe think he's god's gift to women?"

Vanessa tried to calm her friend down. "Oh just ignore him Sammy. He's only a Roy Fokker wanna-be."

Ben winced at that; he really was trying to be like Cmdr Fokker, mostly because Ben thought that's how a fighter pilot was supposed to act.

Kim stamped her foot and said to the other two "So who's the type of guy you think we're supposed to be dancing with, huh?"

'Uh, Kim?" Ben tried to interrupt

"The ones who aren't so cocky…DUH!" snorted Sammy.

"I would think a pilot who isn't cocky would be as rare as a unicorn." speculated Vanessa.

"Who cares if they're cocky? I just hope they dance well!" Kim interjected

"Um, would you like to go out sometime Kim?" Ben tried to slide into their conversation.

"That would be all you cared about, just 'cuz you're some sort of super dancing queen." Sammy quipped and stuck her tongue out at Kim.

"You take that back you little twerp!"

"I'm sure Sammy didn't really mean that Kim"

"Uh…Earth to Kim" Ben said as he vainly tried again to get her attention.

"I did too mean it. I'm so jealous of how good a dancer she is!"

"She is a great dancer, but that's no reason to be upset with her" Vanessa said, trying once again to calm her diminutive friend down.

"Yeah Sammy! Don't be a hater!" Kim glared.

The girls squabbling looked like it would never end, so Ben shook his head, mumbled "Well, that idea was a flop" and slowly walked back to the table where Max and Rick were waiting. As he pushed through the crowd, he never noticed that as quickly as it had started, the argument was over and the three girls were hugging and laughing on the dance floor. As they let go of their mutual embrace, Vanessa noticed Ben had gone.

"Do you see where he went?" Kim asked the taller girl, a confused look in her violet eyes, "I have to double check something. I'm not sure, but I think he was trying to ask me out."

"HE WAS!" the other two shouted with a giggle. That made Kim's cheeks go red, but it also brought a smile to her face. '_I hope I can find out where he disappeared to?_' she thought.

* * *

Ben finally reached the table after what seemed a long slow walk of shame. Getting shot down by a Zentraedi was nowhere near as stressful as getting shot down by a girl.

"Whoa big brother, you look like the family dog just got run over."

"Ouch. It's that obvious?"

"Sorry Ben, but Max is right, you look really down in the dumps all of a sudden."

"Sorry Sir. It's just that I've had this big crush on Lt. Young ever since she started coming to my folk's dry-cleaning shop and I really thought I'd have a chance to ask her out tonight. Well, I'm sorry to report Skipper that that mission was a complete crash and burn." Ben said with the most dejected look Max had ever seen on his face.

"Hey boss?" Ben continued, "What would you do in this situation?"

'HA!" Rick snorted. "Don't ask me for advice on women. Sometimes I think I know less than anyone on that subject." Rick was also a little surprised Cmdr Hayes popped into his mind at that point too, but that puzzle would have to wait until the next day. Tonight he had to help with Ben's problems.

"I was trying to be all suave like Cmdr Fokker, but that didn't impress any of them."

"Well Ben, maybe you need to try being yourself next time you think you want to ask this girl out."

"Sounds good Skipper" Ben was starting to feel cheered up.

"Ahem," Max interrupted," Don't look now big brother, but I think you were followed."

Ben's face got a confused look as his eyes followed to where Max was pointing, not sure who he was supposed to be looking for, until he spotted Kim walking in his direction through the crowd, at which point his face lit up. She was alone! It was starting to look like he might get that date after all.

"Excuse me Corporal Dixon, but I need clarification on a point of information." She said in a strong commanding voice. "There was some confusion between myself and my companions about whether you had just tried to ask me out on a date. Did you Corporal?" Ben began to notice a very mischievous glint in her eyes…those deep, sparkling violet eyes that were so easy to get lost in.

Playing along, Ben snapped to attention and replied with a grin "Yes ma'am. I did try to ask you out just now."

"Well then Corporal, if you are free tomorrow evening I expect you to pick me at 7pm sharp." Kim barked with just as big a grin as Ben's, "That's an order!"

"Yes ma'am! I hope you'll be hungry, because I know this great steakhouse!"

At that everyone at the table busted out laughing. Ben and Kim hashed out the details for the following night in a more conversational tone and before she went back to Vanessa and Sammy, she gave Ben's hand a hard squeeze and his cheek a quick peck. Then she let go and ran back to the rest of the trio, excited to tell them the news.

* * *

"That's not quite the way I remember it Ben. You were actually a lot dorkier than that." Kim said with a hearty laugh as they continued walking on toward the dance club.

"Ha ha ha." Ben said in a droll tone, "May I remind you that fighter pilots are _**never**_ dorky."

"Keep telling yourself that, flyboy. Just keep telling yourself that." Kim said with a smirk.

"I never did thank you for coming to double check that night. When I couldn't get your attention during your...um…conversation with the rest of the Trio I thought you weren't interested."

"I'll let you in on a little secret;" Kim whispered conspiratorially, "There was no way I wasn't going to double-check. I think I've had a crush on you too since that first time I was in your parent's shop."

Ben put his arm around Kim and gave her a big squeeze as they walked on to the club, a big grin plastered on his face. It had definitely been a great day today.

* * *

Author's note: I had originally pictured Ben asking Kim out as a plot addition to the "Sweet Sixteen" episode, but Minmei's party all took place in the restaurant without the trio being there. I think it worked much better just having it "freestyle" in relation to the canon plot and script points.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Brass in Pocket_ by The Pretenders

Coming next chapter: How Ben handles a wedding.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

OK...I had originally put this comment as a footnote to the story, but it makes more sense to have it here at the beginning. I know this may turn my comment into a spoiler, but i realized I didn't want everyone thinking from the chapter title that it was going to be *Ben's* wedding! I wanted to go through the events of the episode _Wedding Bells_ from Ben's POV (since he is still alive for it in the AU I've created) but without retelling the episode verbatim. I thought relating all the 'behind the scenes' stuff was a good way to do it. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 8 – I think I want to marry you.**

Ben woke up very groggy the next morning, shaking off sleep to begin preparing for today's first patrol. First patrol! After all that time in rehab, he should be feeling much more excited and energetic to get back in the cockpit of a Veritech. On a normal morning, he might have, but after last night's date with Kim, he was surprised he woke up on time! A smile hit his face as he remembered the date. As soon as the two of them got into the club Kim dragged him to the dance floor and proceeded to boogie the night away, only stopping dancing for a quick trip to the ladies' room then right back out on the floor. Ben was going to check Kim for a hidden protoculture battery one of these days; once she gets out on the dance floor there's no stopping her. '_How does she keep going all night?_' thought Ben, shaking his head. Ultimately, he didn't care. As long as she felt the need to dance, Ben would do his best to keep up if that was what it took to spend every moment with her.

After taking a quick shower, he hustled to the flight deck; he was flying with Blue squadron this morning as a shake-down flight. But instead of a new plane HE was what needed the shake-down. A simulator could only tell you so much; the real test was getting back in a real fighter. If all went well on this flight, he would be rejoining Skull squadron by the end of the week. Ben grabbed a quick cup of coffee and continued on to the pilots' ready room for the pre-flight briefing. The group Ben was assigned to would be flying high perimeter, what used to be called "high CAP" (1) in the old days of blue water navies. "OK boys," called the squadron leader, "mount up and stay safe!" Chairs rattled as the pilots began filing out to their planes.

"Lt. Dixon!" yelled out the Commander.

"Yes Sir Cmdr Broche!" Ben turned and saluted.

"You'll be flying on my wing with Lt. Turner here." Broche barked, pointing at another young pilot.

"Nice to meet you Turner." Ben said with a smile.

"Likewise, Dixon. Been hearing lots of stories from the other Skulls, hope you can live up to them."

"This flight isn't about me; it's about keeping everyone on the SDF-1 safe."

'_Did that really come out of my mouth?_' Ben thought. Before the crash he would have kept bantering about how good he thought he was. '_I guess almost dying has to change you a little bit._'

"Okay Blues, let's quit lolly-gagging! Take off is in two minutes! LET"S MOVE IT!"

* * *

Ben climbed into the cockpit of the new Veritech he had been assigned. It wasn't one of the ultra new armored ones, but it still packed a punch. The mechanics had mentioned that these newest VT fighters could now carry twice as many missiles on the wing hard points and the auto-cannon had been upgraded as well, toting more rounds of armor piercing shells. Good to know if a scrap developed, but Ben would just as soon have a quiet patrol this first time back.

Luckily it was a quiet patrol; not even a sniff of the Zentraedi. It was so uneventful that Cmdr Broche ordered some target training after the patrol flight was over. Each pilot had to aim at two targets in each mode, for a total of six targets. Ben did fairly well on his target runs, scoring hits on all six and two bulls-eyes in Battloid mode. The pilots of Blue squadron gave him a bit of ribbing back in the ready room during the post-flight debriefing but Ben took it in stride; that was just their way of showing respect.

"I guess those Skulls I talked to were only exaggerating a little, eh Dixon?" quipped Lt. Turner.

" I dunno, I expected to be a bit rusty and I was." Ben shot back with a wink and a smile.

"If you ever want out of Skull squadron Lt. Dixon, I would love to have you here in Blue." said Cmdr Broche, extending a handshake.

"Thank you Sir." Ben said while returning the handshake, "But I don't know if Cmdr Hunter is sick of me yet."

Ben broke the handshake, saluted the superior officer and made his way back to the barracks. He was tired but happy; he was back flying and life couldn't be better.

* * *

When he got back to his room on the base, Ben saw there was an urgent message from Max. It said to come to Ben's parent's house as soon as possible because he had some special news. '_Hmm…Wonder what that could be about?_' Ben showered again, put on a fresh uniform and hurried over to Casa Dixon. '_It must really be something important if he needs to tell me __**and**__ my parents._'

After a short taxi ride, Ben strolls up to the front door and into the house. "Hey Ma, I'm home! Is Max here yet?" Ben yelled from the foyer.

"Yes dear, just a couple of minutes ago. Come into the living room and meet Max's surprise."

'_Meet Max's surprise?_' That sounded intriguing. Ben walked into the living room and saw sitting next to Max one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen, wearing a cute pink dress. She had smooth alabaster skin and striking green hair. "Wow." was all that came out of Ben's mouth. He wondered if this was the girl Max was meeting last night.

"Ben! Glad you finally made it. Mom was going crazy with curiosity, but I insisted the news had to wait until you had gotten here."

"News?" Ben was starting to get confused.

"Yes Ben. First, I'd like to introduce you to the young lady with me. Her name is Miriya Perino. But that's not the big news."

"It isn't?" Ben was really confused now.

"Nope. The big news is that Miriya and I are going to be getting married!" Max had the biggest smile on his face that somehow got even bigger when he looked toward Miriya.

"Married? WOOHOO! Congratulations little brother!" whooped Ben "But geez, that must have been one heck of a first date if you're already getting hitched!"

Max and Miriya looked at each other, smiled, and blushed. "I guess you can say that." Max said sheepishly. "I'll regale you with that tale later. First things first…we have a wedding to start planning."

"Whoa, slow down Max. What's Cmdr Hunter going to say about this?"

"I talked to the Skipper this morning and after he met Miriya he was all for it." Max grinned. Then he continued with a more subdued tone. "There is something you need to know about Miriya though. She's a Zentraedi."

"WHAT?" gasped the entire Dixon family?

"Does the Skipper know?" asked Ben

"Yes. Rick was as surprised as you all were just now but after he met Miriya face to face he gave his blessing. We've already gone to see Capt. Gloval as well and he has also given his blessing to our marriage."

"Holy cow little brother, you REALLY need to tell me about that first date. I've heard of love at first sight, but this is taking it to a whole new level." Ben eventually smiled. He could never be upset with Max. "Congratulations!"

"Then thank you for accepting me into your family." Miriya told Ben, sounding a bit shy and unsure.

Mrs. Dixon walked over to the young couple. "If Capt Gloval has given his blessing than how can we refuse? I can see in your eyes that the two of you are madly in love. I guess we have a wedding to plan then!" and without missing a beat, she turns to Ben and says, "So…when are you and this Miss Young you keep talking about going to get married? I'm not getting any younger waiting for grandchildren! And why haven't you brought her around to meet your parents? Are we not good enough to meet her?"

"MA!" said a shocked and blushing Ben as Max and the Dixons began to laugh. Miriya laughed along too, although not really knowing why. '_I must ask Maximilian later what is so funny right now._'

* * *

Over the next week, the surprises just kept coming. For the first surprise, not only did Capt. Gloval give his blessing to their marriage, he insisted that he pay for the entire affair as he had no children of his own to do that for. He also insisted that the whole ceremony be televised to the occupants of the SDF-1. "It will provide a measure of hope and comfort to the civilians here on the ship." he said in his thick Russian accent. "Besides, this will be the first wedding in outer space and an event this grand must have a ceremony to match." Second, once the preparations began everyone wanted to do something. Skull squadron was no exception and everybody in the unit worked closely with the mechanics to come up with some special effects for the big day. Third, once the crew was notified, Cmdr Grant and the Trio took it upon themselves to initiate Miriya into the myriad variety of 'Micronian mating customs', foremost ones apparently being dress shopping and the 'bachelorette party'.

Max had decided that Cmdr Hunter should be his Best Man. "I know you are probably disappointed I didn't ask you big brother, but if it weren't for Rick accepting Miriya, I don't think any of this would be happening."

"That's OK Max. I understand and I'm not disappointed. And it's not like I can't be a groomsman."

"Thank you for understanding Ben. Now we better get going! We can't be late to the tuxedo shop!"

* * *

The Trio practically dragged Miriya into the dress shop. It's not that she was resisting going but that she was not moving quickly enough to keep up with the tornado of activity named Sammy, Vanessa and Kim. Claudia followed close behind, chuckling at the energy of the junior officers. For her part, Miriya was staring in wonder everywhere she went. Even during the time she spent trying to track Maximilian down, there were many sections of the battle fortress she had never traveled through. She had certainly not ever been in this particular shop before. When the Trio finally got her through the door, Miriya stood amazed. Coming from a military society, she had never had to worry about clothing or style; a Zentraedi officer had at most three different uniforms to worry about. But here, in this place, she saw hundreds of dresses dedicated solely to the activity of a wedding.

"Tyrol's moons…" Miriya gasped as she came to dead stop, "you Micronians have so much compared to the Zentraedi."

"And you get to pick one just for yourself." Claudia whispered in her ear.

"How shall I select one? I do not know which one I could possibly want."

"That's what we're here for," reiterated Claudia, "To help with the most important decision of any woman's life." Miriya smiled and nodded.

"But we better get a grip on things here, dear" observed Claudia, "those other three are gonna tear the shop apart."

Claudia let out a chuckle and Miriya had to laugh too when she saw the Trio dashing from rack to rack, each holding what seemed like half a dozen dresses. '_This Micronian custom seems to inspire much enthusiasm in the females of this race._' she thought with a smile, '_I must immerse myself in this experience to find out why._'

"What is the first step in this process?" Miriya finally asked, as ready as she would ever be.

After what seemed like hours, Miriya finally selected a gown that the girls all agreed made her look absolutely beautiful. It was a classic, traditional look with a waist length veil. What was surprising was that it was a gown Kim had picked out; Kim usually dressed fashion forward, not traditional.

Miriya stood looking in the mirror, stunned by how beautiful she looked. "I hope Maximilian will like this."

"Honey, if his jaw doesn't hit the floor when he sees you then he went blind." laughed Claudia, "Every man on this battle fortress is gonna wish they were marrying you!"

Miriya glowed at that thought, "My thanks to you, Lt. Young; how did you ever know that this would be the perfect dress for me?"

"That's easy Miriya," Kim told her as she gave her a hug, "I just thought about what kind of dress I would want. Believe it or not I actually want a traditional dress for my own wedding. I just don't think that haute couture wedding dresses look all that good."

"So that's what you're going to wear when Lt. Dixon asks you to marry him?" teased Sammy.

"That's still a ways off Sammy." Kim said with a blush.

"Right Sammy, Kim and Ben haven't been dating that long." Vanessa interjected, "I don't even think he's brought her home to meet his parents."

"You don't have to rub it in" said Kim, blushing even harder.

"Well, I think that's enough on that subject," Claudia said, taking control, "You three still need your bridesmaid dresses and we still need to get a few more things for Miriya."

"YAY! Dresses for us!" chimed the Trio, running excitedly back to the racks.

"What more could I possibly need Commander?" Miriya asked, still very unsure of Micronian customs.

"Well, you still need some clothes for the honeymoon and we can't forget about lingerie." Claudia explained to their new friend.

"What is this 'lingerie' you speak of?" asked a very puzzled Zentraedi.

Claudia laughed and whispered in Miriya's ear, then laughed even harder when Miriya's cheeks turned a deep red.

* * *

The day of the wedding, a very nervous Max was waiting with Ben and Rick for the ceremony to start. He kept pacing back and forth, afraid he was going to pass out if he sat down. It was just like they made it look in the movies. Ben would occasionally peak out into the hall. There had to be hundreds of people in the hall and at least six TV cameras. It was going to be a spectacle for the ages; Max hated being the center of attention and would have preferred a simple 'justice of the peace' ceremony.

"Hello Mrs. Dixon." Rick said warmly, "How are you doing today?"

"I just needed to come and wish Max well before the bride arrived." beamed Mrs. Dixon, "This boy has been like a second son to me."

"Thanks Mom," Max said wanly, "Was it as nerve wracking for you on your wedding day?"

"Me? Heavens no, I was over the moon with joy! But maybe Mr. Dixon was a bit nervous." She said with a slight chuckle, "You'll have to ask him yourself though. Here, let me get a good look at you and give you a hug. I'm so proud of you and happy for you. I hope you and Miriya have a long and happy marriage."

"Thanks Mom, that means a lot."

"Now…get ready, it can't be much longer before your bride arrives. I mean really, what could she do? Steal a fighter and run away?"

"Don't even joke about that," said a horrified Max, "that's the exact thought that keeps making me nervous! This isn't just marrying into a new family for her; she's marrying into a whole new culture! I would think anyone would have second thoughts on that!"

"Don't worry my dear Max. I've seen how she looks at you. Someone that head over heels will never run away from the man she loves."

"Thanks Mom."

"Now, we just need to get Benjamin in gear…"

"MA!" wailed a frustrated Ben, "We went over this last week. Kim and I haven't been dating that long so talk of marriage for us is just a bit premature."

"OK, I get the hint. This is Max's day anyway." she said with a merry twinkle as she left to return to her seat.

After exchanging a hug with Mrs. Dixon, Max actually did feel better. He realized she was right: Miriya loved him deeply and would never run away. That thought made him feel calm and happy.

* * *

Even with a police escort, the limousine with the bridal party was running late. The wedding was such a big deal that people lined the route to the ceremony hall and big screen televisions were set up all over the city for all the citizens of Macross to watch the proceedings. And Miriya looked the cliché of the nervous bride, but more for not knowing almost anything of this Micronian custom 'The Wedding' than any other reason. But she was also nervous Max would change his mind and not go through with the ceremony.

"I am worried my friends," she said to her bridesmaids, the Trio, "that Maximilian will not be at the hall for the ceremony. Everyone we have met seems to begin the conversation with 'Are you sure you're ready to get married? You hardly know this girl!' and it is making me sad that there is a possibility my mate-to-be will listen to these people and change his mind." Then flashing the attitude that made her a fierce warrior, she practically growled, "I will hunt him down and kill him if he humiliates me in this manner!"

"Calm down Miriya," Vanessa said soothingly, "Max would never do that to you."

"Yeah Miriya," added Kim, "I saw Max almost every time I've seen Ben this past week and I can tell that Max is absolutely in love with you. He will definitely be waiting at the hall!"

"Besides," chimed Sammy, "you'll have to get in line! We're going to hunt him down and kill him ourselves if he tries to break your heart and run away!"

The four girls broke out in laughter as the limousine drove the last few hundred feet to the hall.

* * *

Things got a bit hectic when a TV producer ran into the back room and announced "Showtime gentlemen! The bride is here!" The three companions took one last look at each others' tuxedos and walked out to where a podium was set up. Captain Gloval was already waiting at the podium. Even he was grinning; performing a marriage was one of the happier tasks that fell under the authority of a ship's captain. Suddenly music began playing and the ceremony started, the girls making a slow, regal march down the center aisle.

First down the aisle was Sammy in a spaghetti strap gown that came to mid calf on her. It was a dark, hunter green that went so well with her hair. When Sammy had made it half way to the podium area, the next bridesmaid started down. It was Vanessa this time and she was wearing a deep blue sleeveless gown with wide shoulder straps. It looked much tamer than Sammy's gown, until Vanessa walked by and you could see her gown was backless! It was a very daring outfit for the normally reserved bridge officer. Next came Kim, and Ben was straining to get a good look at her. It helped that he was a taller than average man. When he finally spotted her his jaw hit the floor; she had chosen a strapless number that was a dark lavender color, a perfect complement to those gorgeous violet eyes of hers. And she had pinned a lavender orchid over one ear. Ben could not stop staring at his girlfriend and Kim gave him a shy smile and a wink when she finally arrived at the podium.

Then the music changed and everyone stood up. Miriya was beginning her entrance! Without any "family" with her and Captain Gloval actually performing the ceremony, they had needed to get creative for her trip down the aisle. Although not very typical, Mr. Dixon had agreed to give the bride away. Max was just as much a son to him as his own boy Ben and he would do anything for either of them. Max had been trying to focus on Captain Gloval and didn't try to peek until Miriya was almost to the podium are. He then turned to face her and Mr. Dixon and his jaw hit the floor. In that bridal gown, Max thought Miriya was the most beautiful woman in the whole universe. After Mr. Dixon relinquished her to him, Max bent over and whispered exactly that into Miriya's ear. She gave Max a shy smile, but there was no doubt in her eyes that indeed, this dress had had the desired effect on her dear Maximilian.

The rest of the ceremony was kind of a blur for Ben. Rick had the rings and Max was front and center with Miriya. Really, all Ben had to do for this was stand up straight and not fall asleep. Fat chance of that happening! All his attention was on Kim and the way he felt about her would never put him to sleep. Kim was absolutely gorgeous and although she had made sure not to outshine the bride today, Ben was sure in his mind that Kim was more beautiful than Miriya. He couldn't suppress a chuckle when he thought, '_My opinion may be a little biased._'

Afterward, the throng of people moved from the ceremony hall to the reception hall. As a special part of the proceedings, Max flew Miriya around in a special 2-seat Veritech painted blue like Max's regular fighter, going past the rest of Skull squadron set up in Battloid mode like an honor guard. Ever the practical joker, Ben never was able to figure out how to tie a bunch of tin cans and a 'Just married' sign to the back of Max's special wedding day fighter.

Eventually, everyone made it to the reception hall where Capt. Gloval gave a speech that started out a bit rough on Miriya, but was actually a clever way to press for peace with the Zentraedi. Then things got down to business with all the traditional wedding activities: the cutting of the cake, photos of the wedding party, and lots of dancing. Although he knew his Mom was going to want her over for dinner one of these days, Ben was at least able to introduce Kim to his parents. He could tell his Mom liked Kim and that Kim was relieved that his Mom liked her. It was a great day for everybody.

Unfortunately, you can't have a big party without a few party crashers showing up and several dozen squadrons of enemy battle pods certainly qualified as party crashers. The civilians became frightened when Capt. Gloval made an announcement at the reception that everyone needed to get to their battle stations. The SDF-1 was under attack and her stout defenders needed to get prepared. Ben was able to grab Kim for a quick kiss before he ran to the flight deck on Prometheus. "You be careful getting up to the bridge! OK?" said a concerned Ben. "You be careful too hotshot! You owe me one more dance!" countered an equally concerned Kim.

* * *

Out of his tuxedo and in his flight suit, Ben did a quick last minute check of his Veritech. This was an emergency scramble; no time for a detailed pre-flight check. He would have to trust the ground crew that all was fine with his ship. He taxied toward launch position as soon as his fighter was brought up from the hangar deck. "This is Skull 3 reporting 'Ready for takeoff' Control."

"Roger Skull 3. Proceed to Catapult A for immediate lift-off. Happy hunting Lieutenant."

"Roger that Control. Skull 3 moving to take-off position."

Within seconds of stopping his Veritech and pushing the throttles to afterburner zone 1, Ben got the signal from the deck master to launch. He released the brakes on his fighter, zooming down the runway and into the night. Skull squadron formed up as soon as everyone was launched and set a course toward the incoming bogeys. Ben glanced around at the squadron mates that were within his field of vision and did a double take when he saw Max and his new bride in the 2-seater from the ceremony! '_Good thing it was fully armed to begin with,_' thought an amazed Ben, '_Talk about taking your wedding vows seriously!_'

During the course of the melee, Ben heard some odd chatter between Max and the Skipper over the TACNET. "Sorry Sir, but my last few shots have been off."

"I can't say I don't agree with you Max. We'll do it your way. We have to stop the killing now."

From that conversation, Ben realized that Max wasn't shooting to kill, but shooting to try and disable each battle pod he came against. "I'm with you too little brother. We have to lead by example on this."

That would mean Ben would need to have very precise aim when attacking the pods and that meant shifting to Battloid mode. Most of the veteran pilots were better shots when flying in Fighter mode, since the majority of them had been in combat aircraft before the Veritech had even been invented. But as one of the newer pilots on the SDF-1 Ben got frustrated sometimes on how bad his shooting could be in Fighter mode sometimes. But shift to Battloid mode and he turned into a crack marksman, probably because Veritechs were all that he had ever flown. So Ben picked a spot to hover and proceeded to pick off any pod that came in range. Miriya had told Max, who then told the rest of the flyers of Skull squadron that the battle pods were vulnerable where the legs joined the body of the pod. A well placed shot there would disable the pod but not destroy it. It was tough work, but Ben much preferred it to wanton, senseless slaughter.

Almost as quickly as the attack began, it was over, as the enemy craft began a retreat. Ben didn't know why they were going but he didn't care. It had been such a long day and he was exhausted. He hoped he could catch up with Kim though before he headed to bed.

* * *

Author's notes:

(1) CAP is a US Navy acronym. It stands for **C**ombat **A**ir **P**atrol.

A couple minor characters, Turner and Broche, are actually my own creations. (The other squadrons can't _all_ be nameless cannon fodder.)

Chapter title is lyrics from _Marry You_ by Bruno Mars


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 9 – Don't turn around…the Commissar's in town.**

Because of the Zentraedi attack, the rest of the formal reception was obviously cancelled. That did not mean the celebration was over though. The Dixons threw open their home to the wedding party and a few select friends. "Why should a few bad apples ruin our fun? Tonight, we celebrate a joyous union of two young people madly in love!" avowed Mrs. Dixon.

"Thank you Mom," Max said quietly to her, "This is more what I was hoping for. I understand why Capt Gloval wanted all the hoopla, but you know how I hate to be in the limelight."

"Yes Max, I know. You are just being true to yourself and that is what gives you a quiet strength people may not see."

"I'm glad you understand Mrs. Dixon," said a reserved Miriya, pulling Max to sit with her on the couch, "The ceremony today was very overwhelming. Is that typical for this particular Micronian custom?"

"Usually only if a Bride-zilla is involved." Mrs. Dixon said in a serious tone. She was not trying to be funny, but that did not stop the rest of wedding party from laughing, although Miriya did not understand that particular reference. '_Clearly there are still many things to learn about Micronian rituals.'_

"Times like these are more important than that dog and pony show we had to deal with earlier," quipped a tired Ben, "because we're here with all the important people in our lives."

'_Not everyone is here._' thought a subdued Rick, puzzling why he started thinking of Lisa Hayes.

"I don't mind not having the DJ and dancing," said an obviously exhausted Kim, "I actually think I'm too tired to dance."

Vanessa and Sammy both did double takes. "You? Not dance?" exclaimed Sammy. "Do we need to check you for a fever?" asked Vanessa.

"I know it sounds weird but dancing just doesn't seem that important right now." answered Kim as she snuggled into Ben's arm and shoulder.

"Well, before everyone drops from exhaustion, I would like to propose a toast to the happy couple." said Mr. Dixon as he raised a glass of wine.

"To the happy couple!" chimed the rest of the guests.

The evening gradually wound down and everyone gradually began leaving the Dixon residence. Capt Gloval had already arranged for larger quarters for the newlyweds the day before the ceremony, so Max and Miriya said their goodbyes and went to enjoy their wedding night. Mrs. Dixon assured Miriya it was a very important part of the wedding ritual but also a very private part of the ritual, between only the bride and groom. Rick left soon after, feeling a little awkward at not having date, but if he couldn't ask Lisa to accompany him to the wedding he didn't really want to ask anyone else. The Trio left next, sharing a cab back to their quarters. Kim gave Ben a quick kiss and told him "See you tomorrow, hotshot." That left Ben and his parents to clean up; luckily it was mostly wine glasses and a few empty bottles of wine.

"Alex, did you see how happy Max was to be married?" observed Mrs. Dixon.

"I did indeed Lois. That boy certainly picked a wonderful woman." replied Mr. Dixon.

"She is going to be a wonderful but interesting daughter-in-law. That Miss Young would make a wonderful daughter-in-law too, I think." Mrs. Dixon said a little louder.

"MA! Don't start!" Ben wailed plaintively from the kitchen as his parents shared a chuckle in the living room.

* * *

There seemed to be an unwritten truce for the next several days. The Zentraedi didn't even have any reconnaissance craft fly by. It was a welcome respite for the first two days, but now tension was building as everyone began to fear an attack was imminent; however, the defenders of the SDF-1 remained vigilant and patrol flights continued as usual.

"Skull Leader to Skull flight… do you guys see _**anything**_?" said a tense sounding Cmdr Hunter.

"Skull 2 reports negative Skipper," Max quietly reported.

"Skull 3 here. I don't see even see space dust boss." said an almost bored sounding Ben.

"I don't like it. It's almost too quiet." Rick responded.

"Yeah," Ben sighed, "I'd really like some action right now."

"Be careful what you wish for." observed Max.

"Skull leader, this is Control" chimed Lt. Porter from the bridge.

"This is Skull Leader. Go ahead Control."

"We're picking up a large radar signal moving toward the SDF-1. Please take your flight and investigate."

"Roger Control, give us a vector."

"The signal is moving in from heading two three eight point four. Control advises not using that direct heading as the ship is preparing to target the main gun."

"Roger Control, Skull Leader out."

"Told you." Piped Max on the plane-to-plane channel.

"Alright! Action!" Ben said excitedly.

"Zip it you two. Let's go check this thing out."

Rick led the patrol flight to within visual range while staying out of the line of fire from the main gun of the SDF-1. They didn't need to get too close to see it was a Zentraedi battle cruiser, mostly because it was one of the biggest ones in the fleet that had been harrying them the past year and a half. Rick wondered out loud if it looked familiar, but neither wingman had a positive ID. They had time to ponder the puzzle of the ship: Their orders at this point were to observe only. They could not fire unless the ship or any smaller craft from the ship fired upon the patrol.

"I still can't figure out what they're doing." said a still puzzled Rick.

"Me either boss. I think you're right…we should know that ship." opined an equally puzzled Ben.

"Uh-oh guys, I think I remembered why that looks so familiar. That's the ship we got captured in."

"Are you sure Max?"

"Yes I am Rick. I spent a bit more time on the outside of it than you did."

"Oh god," Ben gulped, "That means it's the flagship of that Commander with the faceplate."

"Breetai." whispered an unsettled Rick Hunter.

They flew along in silence after that epiphany, each man lost in his own thoughts until the TACNET crackled.

"Skull Leader, this is Control. We're receiving another signal coming up fast behind the first ship"

"Roger Control, we'll take a look."

Rick, Max and Ben maneuvered into position to see observe this new signal and their hearts collective froze when they saw a couple of squadrons of tri-fighters zoom around the huge flagship and make a beeline for the SDF-1; however, before they could even report in and begin an intercept the guns of the Zentraedi battle cruiser opened fire and blasted all the bogeys out of existence.

"Did you see that?" Rick blurted out over the TACNET.

"Roger Skull Leader" Sammy's voice replied, "We have received a communication from the Zentraedi ship. They are approaching under a flag of truce and assure us there will be no more, um, interruptions."

"Wow, who'd a thunk that." Ben said with a surprised tone.

"Skull Leader," Sammy continued, "When that battle cruiser arrives within 10,000 meters of the SDF-1 they will be launching a lone, unarmed battle pod to transport a diplomatic envoy. Your orders will be to escort that pod to this ship."

"Roger Control. We will be waiting for a visual of that pod."

Skull patrol flight was on edge during the escort mission. After so many tricks in the past, it was hard to accept that the Zentraedi had not planned some sort of trap and the thought of letting a battle pod intentionally land on the SDF-1 was just too weird. To the relief of all, the trip was uneventful and the pod landed without incident on the Prometheus. As Skull flight touched down and taxied to their assigned parking spots, the pilots noticed the pod at the far end of the hangar. One of the huge Zentraedi soldiers was standing at attention next to it and a much smaller figure in some sort of a simple robe was shaking hands with Colonel Maistrof. '_Well, it's out of our hands now._' thought Rick.

"How the heck do they manage to shrink Skipper?" asked a puzzled Ben.

"I dunno Ben. Maybe the big-wigs will find out during these talks."

"Maybe, but I think right now I'd rather be thinking about dinner."

* * *

Rick and Max laughed at their friend with the outsized appetite and followed him to the locker room to shower off. Pilots tend to get a little ripe after several hours in the cockpit. When they were all back in their regular uniforms, Max left to go have dinner with Miriya while Ben and Rick went for a quick bite at the officers' mess. Rick was feeling chatty while they were in line getting their meals.

"You and Lt. Young seemed to getting pretty cozy at your parent's house the other night Ben. Anything special happening there?"

"Oh God, not you too." said a blushing and exasperated Ben, "I can't spend more than five minutes visiting my Mom before she starts grilling me about when I'm going to pop the question."

"Sorry to bring up a sore subject," Rick said with a chuckle, "I was just curious. It's not like anything is happening in my life. I need to live vicariously right now."

"Nothing happening? Is that because Cmdr Hayes went Earth side?" probed Ben.

It was Rick's turn to blush, "What makes you say that?" he said out loud. '_How the hell does he know I've been thinking about Lisa?_' he thought in private.

"Well Skipper, you have been pretty mopey since she left. Even Kim and the rest of the bridge crew have noticed."

"Are you serious?" Rick sputtered with red cheeks, "Is my love life a damn soap opera on this ship?"

"Very serious," Ben replied as they sat down to eat, "I hate to say it, but Kim thinks that Cmdr Hayes might be fond of you."

*Ffffttt* Rick spit out his coffee in shock at that statement. "I find that hard to believe Ben. That woman had done nothing but yell at me before she left. I was her favorite whipping boy, remember?"

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I was only relaying what I heard; you need to remember I get news like this second or third hand."

"I'm sorry Ben. Can we change the subject? I won't be able to eat if we continue to compare love lives."

"Anything you say Skipper" barked Ben with a hearty laugh.

They ate and talked about flying instead of women. Not combat flying, but the feel of how it was to just be up in air soaring. Both men really loved being in a cockpit and, at least in Rick's case, it didn't have to be a Veritech. That was the kind of talk that cheered them up, until they heard the PA announcement.

"Cmdr Rick Hunter and Lieutenants Ben Dixon, Max Sterling and Miriya Sterling…please report to Conference Room A immediately."

"So much for dessert." Ben said glumly.

"I wonder what that's all about?" said a worried Rick. Ben didn't realize it but Rick knew that was where the diplomatic talks were being held.

* * *

The two men left the mess hall and began the long walk to the conference room. They set a brisk pace but did not feel compelled to run. "If they wanted us to sprint, they would have said 'On the Double' when they made the announcement." observed Ben. They hadn't ran into the Sterlings before they neared the conference room, so Rick surmised they had already arrived. The door slid open as they approached.

"…in fact, this may be them." came the voice of Col. Maistrof

"Well, you were right about Max and Miriya beating us here. I wonder…..AAHHHH" Ben had glanced at the guest in the room and was startled by the recognition, "What's he doing here?"

"What's the matter Ben?" asked a puzzled Rick. His eyes followed as Ben motioned toward the dais with his thumb. "Oh." He muttered when comprehension registered.

"Well, I was just talking with the Quadrano Leader, and …" said the alien, "That's it! The micronization process has affected my memory. You are the two hostages from Dolza's flagship, aren't you?"

That exchange left the pilots feeling wary, since they remembered his face but not his name. They eventually found out that the envoy was called Exedore when the refugees Brom, Rico and Konda also arrived at the meeting; apparently he was some sort of Minister in the Zentraedi hierarchy. Minmei and Kyle were the last stragglers to arrive, though none of the pilots had any clue why. Ben himself wasn't sure why he had to come to the conference room in the first place, but Exedore's outburst made it clearer. Capt. Gloval must have requested that Ben be at this meeting because he had been part of the group captured by the Zentraedi. He was also convinced that Cmdr Hayes would have been here too if she were still on the SDF-1.

As the meeting began in earnest, some of the mysteries were solved. Kyle was here at Exedore's request because the Zentraedi thought he was some sort of super soldier. Exedore was quite embarrassed to find out that what the Zentraedi witnessed were scenes from the movie Kyle and Minmei had done; it was only special effects for entertainment. Minmei herself was here because of her singing. Exedore was convinced her songs were solely for psychological warfare. "You cannot possibly deny the power of the female's song!" he practically shouted at the assembly.

"I wouldn't dream of it." answered Capt Gloval, much to the surprise of Col. Maistrof. The refugees agreed as well: her songs had much power. What the alien envoy did not realize to that point, but what Gloval was very aware of, was that the power of any song was not as a weapon but as something that that can uplift the spirits of the listeners. A song's greatest power was to bring hope.

'_So we're here comparing what we think are weapons?_' thought Ben, '_What's the point of that?_'

It came out during the talks that eventually Dolza, the Zentraedi supreme commander, would begin to consider the Micronians a threat to the warrior society and Dolza dealt with threats in absolute terms. The Zentraedi had encountered a society similar to Earth's before and vowed "Never again!" to the perceived contamination. In practical terms, Dolza would send the entire main fleet to attack the Earth. To the shock of the humans, Exedore announces, after receiving word from Breetai's ship, that the Zentraedi Main Fleet was already on its way.

'_Oh God,_' gulped Ben, '_I hope we have enough missiles._' Ben remembered how many ships the Zentraedi had around Dolza's personal flagship.

"Over 4 million, eight hundred thousand battle ready warships." announced Exedore with finality. "And they will be aiming at both our forces Capt. Gloval. Dolza will be considering us contaminated by you and therefore expendable. Our only hope of survival is for us to join forces against a common enemy."

"Against 5 million ships? You're crazy!" shouted Kyle.

"You ship has proven indestructible," continued Exedore, "I do not how, but there must be some way to win."

Ben had no doubts. Most likely he and everyone else in this room would die during the battle, but that would not stop him from doing his duty. The only way to have even a slim chance of protecting those he loved was to fight with every ounce of strength in his body, to spit in the enemy's eye with his dying breath.

"Cmdr Hunter!" boomed Capt Gloval, "Go and begin preparations for flight operations. All pilots are to man their planes."

"Aye Captain!" Rick saluted, spun and ran for the door, "C'mon you guys, we have work to do."

"Right behind you, boss!" shouted Ben. As he headed toward the door, he caught Miriya saying to her new husband "I do not care if this is the end Max, as long as we are fighting side by side."

'_Wow, I hope I have a chance to talk to Kim before take-off._' thought a newly worried Ben.

* * *

Next Chapter: The battle is joined.

Author's Notes: This was actually a tougher chapter to write than I originally expected. Part of the problem was I decided to post my original 'Chapter 9" as a one-shot story, so my story blocking got a little out of whack. But I was also not sure how to transition between the Chapter 8 and Chapter 10 without figuring out the new contents of this chapter. Hopefully all will go smother going forward.

The title for this chapter is lyrics from _Der Commissar_ by Falco. (English Language radio version)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 10 – War… huh…good God y'all…what is it good for?**

Ben left the meeting and made his way down to Prometheus with Rick as the General Quarters announcement went out over the intercom. Before long he heard the footfalls of the Sterlings as they caught up to him and the Skipper. There was no talking in the elevator down to the flight deck level but each of the four could see the grim determination on the faces of the others. Ben became oddly calm. '_This is why I fight…because these people are all my family now._' With that thought, Ben began a quick but controlled run to the pilots' ready room when the elevator door opened. Even facing certain annihilation, there would be no panic amongst this group, the core of Skull squadron.

Everyone changed into their flight suits and waited for the pilots' briefing to start. There was a flurry of activity on the hangar deck as the mechanics and plane handlers got every available Veritech ready for combat. Handfuls were trying emergency repairs to get a few more in service; this was indeed to be an all out effort. The pilots were sitting and waiting for the briefing to begin. There was talk that the Zentraedi Main Fleet had already defolded while the defenders were working on their preparations. Some fidgeted nervously at that thought, but most sat somberly, possibly saying a last prayer before battle. Finally Cmdr. Hunter stood up at the podium to begin. As commanding officer of Skull squadron, the elite of the force, Rick was nominally the CAG (Commander, Air Group) and was tasked with delivering the briefing.

"OK everyone," Rick said loudly, to get the pilots' attention, "Capt. Gloval has sent word down on our battle plan. We will be fighting alongside the Zentraedi who have been shadowing us for the past year. Because of their exposure to us 'Micronians', they are in as much danger from the Main Fleet as us and Breetai, their commanding officer, has assured us they will fight as hard against the Main Fleet as we will. Their ships will be broadcasting our IFF signal and I have been notified that Breetai's battle pods will also have red stripes added to their paint scheme. That should cut down on 'friendly fire' incidents during the engagement."

Rick paused to make sure the group of flyers arrayed in front of him understood everything before continuing. Ben gave him a nod and a confident look. '_I am proud to be going into action with Cmdr. Hunter._'

"Our battle plan will involve psychological warfare as well. The Main Fleet has not had any contact with our society and will be susceptible to emotional jolts. To that effect, Capt. Gloval has ordered that radio silence will be maintained once the battle has been joined. This is because the singing of Minmei will be broadcast over all fleet channels, ours and the Zentraedi's. We may have some visual surprises planned as well."

"Now…I don't want anyone trying to be a hero out there. We need to fight smart and fight as a team. No crazy solo charges. Stay with your wingmen and we will get through this. I know I said a moment ago that we are to maintain radio silence but I don't want silence to the point of stupidity. No useless chatter, but call out on the plane-to-plane channel if you get in trouble. Covering each others' backs will be the only way we get out of this in one piece."

A klaxon sounds and Sammy's voice came over the intercom, "Attention! All hands to battle stations! The Zentraedi Main Fleet has begun firing on the Earth."

Rick sees several pilots go pale at the announcement. "You heard the lady! Head to your planes! Launch is in two minutes … Good luck and Godspeed!"

* * *

Ben jogged to toward his plane once he got through the crush of pilots exiting out the door of the ready room. As he neared it, he began the pre-flight visual check every pilot performs before taking off and saw the changes since his last mission. All the Veritechs had been modified to carry the extra armor and missile pods; everyone was going to be loaded for bear this trip. Completing a circuit around the craft and feeling satisfied that it was a ready as it was going to be, Ben saluted the mechanics topping up the fuel tanks and climbed into the cockpit.

After strapping in, Ben fired up the engines, checked the control levers and waited for the flight crew chief to give the signal to move. Seconds later, the chief waved his lighted signal sticks and a tow tug moved his plane to the elevator. Ben closed his eyes while his plane and another rose to the flight deck; at that level Ben was signaled to taxi to one of the waiting launch catapults. In position and hooked up to the launch system, Ben checked in with Flight Control.

"Skull 3 in position and waiting for clearance."

"Roger Skull 3. Take off clearance granted. Happy hunting."

"Roger Control. Skull 3 out."

At that, Ben increases engine thrust until the Veritech strains against the brakes. The deck chief chops his arm down and Ben releases the planes brakes as the catapult engages. His ship leaps down the deck and into space.

Even at the rate of three or four ships every ten seconds or so, it still took several minutes for all the Veritechs to launch and another few minutes to get into formation. Another fifteen minutes passed and the battle pods from Breetai's force began to join in with the Veritechs. It was more ships than Ben had ever seen and it was still a small fraction of what Dolza could throw at them. Luckily, the defenders did not need to battle the whole Main Fleet. They merely needed to punch a hole through Dolza's defenses for the SDF-1 to attack his flagship directly. That was another part of the strategy for the battle plan: destroy Dolza and the rest of the forces will be left in confusion.

"Alright Skull squadron," Rick's voice came over the TACNET, "Radio silence begins when you start hearing Minmei sing. After that, no talking unless it's an emergency."

One by one the rest of Skull squadron checked off and sounded assent. It was a waiting game now as their force slowly made its way from lunar orbit toward Dolza's flagship. In the distance, everyone could see the terrible pounding the Earth was taking. No one could be left alive down there. Without warning, a brilliant flash came streaming up from near the North Pole, whatever it touch disintegrated. '_Whoa…someone is still alive down there and they were able to shoot back._'

It puzzled the bridge crew of the SDF-1 as well, until Capt. Gloval realized it must be the Grand Cannon that had fired. Alaska Base was still functional and Cmdr Hayes was still alive, for now. Kim was relieved at that tidbit of news, but was still worried for Ben. '_I wish I could have talked to him before he launched. I wanted to tell him I love him._'

Unfortunately for Alaska Base, Dolza's forces intensified the attack on Alaska Base's sector. It did not look as if the Grand Cannon would get a chance to fire a second shot. In an ironic twist, huge weapon at Alaska Base provided enough of a distraction for the combined forces of Breetai and the SDF-1 to get close enough to Dolza for a surprise attack when all the admirals stationed Earth side were hoping the SDF-1 would decoy Dolza's force away from the planet. Soon Minmei's song was being broadcast to the enemy. It was time.

"ATTACK!" Rick screamed over the plane-to-plane channel. Ben could see Skull 1 leap ahead as Rick hit the afterburners. Soon all the fighters and battle pods were rushing into the fray.

Dolza's troops began to react and swarms upon swarms of Zentraedi battle pods and fighters came hurtling to meet the threat. Soon the space around Ben was filled with swarms of missiles coming from two directions. Some were fired by himself and his comrades; others were fired by the enemy toward him. Strangely, an utter calm had wrapped around Ben, his sense sharper, his perception of the flow of the battle keener. He knew exactly when to pull the trigger and several enemy pods exploded after hits from his weapons. Ben was efficient too. Each of those kills had taken a single missile or auto-cannon round.

Ben was trying to keep track of Rick in order to cover his six; He saw Max and Miriya and noticed they were doing just fine by themselves, a squadron of two. The newlyweds had their Veritechs pirouetting back to back in Battloid mode, their missile pods launching shot after shot in a cloud of death. Every enemy in a large sphere around the pair was now vaporized.

Ben flew on, taking shots when presented and dodging whatever ordnance was launched at him. Once he had to spin away from a missile and snap into Battloid mode as he attempted to reverse direction. His first auto-cannon shot destroyed the enemy missile and his second destroyed the enemy himself. '_Hmm,_' he thought, '_how many times have I seen Max pull that move?_' Was some of his friend's skill rubbing off on him? He changed quickly back into Fighter mode and zoomed off in search of another target. As much as he liked Battloid mode, in this kind of free-for-all dog fight staying in that mode too long would be like painting a bull's-eye on his metallic back. Battloid mode gave Ben better aiming stability but as the slowest of the three modes it also gave the enemy a better chance to target him.

An explosion rocked his ship. It was not a direct hit but Ben could feel shrapnel from the missile casing pepper his Veritech but none felt like they had penetrated the skin of his ship. His luck was holding so far. A battle pod flashed into view. Ben was about to squeeze the trigger when he saw a streak of red on the 'face' of the pod. One of Breetai's. A month ago he would have squeezed the trigger, because he wouldn't have noticed the stripe until after it was too late. Have things gotten that much better in such a short time? Maybe he was in what Max would always call "The Zone".

Still looking for Rick, Ben picked off a pod on the tail of a Green squadron plane. This fight must be turning into one hell of a melee if someone from Green was now way over on the other side of what had been the formation. '_If I know Rick, he's as close to the mission objective as he can be at this point in the attack, so that's where I should be able to find him._' He punches the afterburners and zooms in the direction Dolza's flagship. That was the target of the SDF-1 and those on the ship needed the fighters to clear a path. Once the SDF-1 got close enough, it would be up to her if this plan had any hope of success.

* * *

Rick was indeed at the spearhead of the attack. He was angry. He kept seeing the pounding Alaska Base had taken and kept thinking of how he would never see Cmdr Hayes again. It bothered him that Lisa was most likely dead and all Rick could think of now was taking that anger out on Dolza's forces, since they were the cause of Lisa's demise. So from the outset he was a harbinger of death to the enemy; the Zentraedi will always have nightmares after today's battle about the mecha with the skull and crossbones on its tail surfaces if Rick had any say.

Ben slowly made his way to where Rick was wreaking havoc against the enemy. There was no quick travel in this war zone; Ben was dodging explosions, missiles, laser shots and vehicles from both sides. No beelines, no 'as the crow flies', just weave and evade and keep going in the same general heading. Suddenly a Veritech zoomed by over Ben's canopy, quickly followed by the turbulence from an explosion behind him.

"Watch your tail, Dixon." came a voice over the plane-to-plane channel. It was Lt. Turner from Blue squadron.

"Thanks Turner. How's Blue squadron doing?"

"Cmdr Broche got a bit shot up in one wing, but he's still in the fight as far as I know."

"You should locate Broche and cover his back. The Zentraedi will focus on a damaged Veritech. If you can't find him, join up with someone else. We all need to watch each others' six."

"Roger that Dixon. Might as well tag along with you, Blue is so scattered right now."

"Copy that, Turner. We're going to try and join up with Cmdr Hunter. Tally ho and keep your eyes peeled."

The impromptu pairing made it easier to blast through the swirling mass of combat, each pilot scanning the sky and firing on the enemy as they came within range. As they drove closer to the enemy flagship, the Veritech pilots had new dangers to worry about. Now, in addition to battle pods, they had to begin contending with the smaller scout ships and cruisers of the Main Fleet. Ben dove along the length of one cruiser in Guardian mode, blasting gun turrets as he zipped by. It looked like Turner was mirroring the move on the opposite side of the ship. They weren't going to take the ship itself out, but every gun emplacement they could severely damage would mean a better chance for the rest of their pilots.

"Yo, Dixon! Is that Skull 1 ahead there?"

"Sure looks like it. Let's get on over there."

The two pilots return to fighter mode and begin scissoring through the latest wave of enemy pods, protecting each other and dealing death to each pod in their gun sights. Finally visible in the distance, they can see the Veritech of Rick Hunter moving through its own ballet of destruction, leaving nothing but smashed battle pods and debris in its wake. '_Glad we found the Skipper,_' thought Ben with a sigh of relief, '_Just need to see if Max and Miriya have caught up to us._' He could see that most of the Veritechs here in the vanguard were from Skull, which was a good sign. But the RDF pilots had still been taking heavy losses. At this point in the fight it was a battle of attrition and the odds were not in favor of the Veritechs. To punctuate that thought, a fighter from Red squadron vaporized in a cloud of plasma, leaving very little debris to identify the now dead pilot.

Breetai was good to his word; his forces fought with a ferocity the 'Micronians' could barely match. They had no choice, because like the humans, they had also been marked for destruction by Dolza so desperation drove them just as strongly as it did the crew of the SDF-1. Breetai's capital ships were in the thick of the battle too, opening up a path through Dolza's cruisers in vicious ship to ship fire fights. Ben could barely keep aware of the action close by and in front of him; the diameter encompassed by the battle would stagger the mind if he tried to grasp the enormity of it. Much easier to just keep focused on his piece of the battle plan.

Ben saw that he and Turner had crept closer to where Skull 1 was conducting a clinic on close quarters fighting. Ben was thinking '_Great show you're putting on there, Skipper!_' when disaster struck. Rick had flipped to Guardian mode for an emergency braking maneuver, then flipped to Battloid mode, fired a salvo of missiles at a scout ship then flew his Battloid through the resulting fireball to look for new targets. Before Ben could yell a warning, Rick's Battloid was hit by a missile salvo fired by a battle pod trailing the scout ship. Rick got the arms of his mecha up to shield the cockpit area, but every enemy missile hit home. Ben stared in horror for a moment as Rick's ship slowly began to drift down toward Earth. It appeared to still be in one piece, but there was no movement from it. Ben shook his head to clear the shock then set his jaw in a determined grimace; he knew his next course of action.

"Attention Veritechs. This is Skull 3. Skull leader is down...repeat...Skull leader is down. All available fighters form up on me. It's time to finish this."

* * *

Next chapter: Can Ben make it through the battle against Dolza's forces?

Author's Notes: Basically the first half of _Force of Arms_ if Ben were still alive for it (Ben's POV).

Chapter title is lyrics from _War_ by Edwin Starr.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

The battle against Dolza continues…

* * *

**Chapter 11 – Absolutely nothing … say it again!**

Ben seethed with anger. He had just seen his commander and friend, Rick Hunter, blown out of the sky by Zentraedi missiles. Even worse, he had lost contact with Max and Miriya. For all he knew, he was the ranking officer left for Skull squadron. '_I have a gut feeling Max and Miriya are still alive,_' Ben thought grimly, '_but that does not mean their Veritechs are still operational._' He allowed himself a small chuckle, '_Pigs will fly before the Sterlings get shot down._' The reality was that, in this immediate vicinity anyway, he **was** the ranking officer.

"Repeat…All Veritechs. This is Skull 3. Skull Leader is down. Form up on me in Sector 78. We're not through yet. The SDF-1 needs a little more room to make it to the flagship." Ben calmly announces over the plane-to-plane channel; someone has to step up, why not him. '_This is for you Skipper,_' Ben says to himself. "LET'S GO GET 'EM!" he thunders over the TACNET. "FOR COMMANDER HUNTER!" Raw emotion coursing through him, Ben hits the afterburners and takes down two battle pods with missiles as he fights to clear precious room for the SDF-1 to reach its target.

For the fighters, the battle is now truly a free-for-all. In all directions, as far as the eye can see, there are the glittering twinkles of explosions, the streaks of laser bolts and tracer rounds from auto-cannon fire, and flashing gouts of flame as pilots hit the afterburners. On the big capital ships, you could occasionally see large clouds of flame erupt from a huge gash in its side, a gash caused by the massive guns on the SDF-1 and Breetai's command ship. Some of the smaller cruisers just completely exploded out of existence, like a sun going nova. If it was not hell, it was certainly the waiting room to it.

Time began to slow down for Ben, as if he could read the movements of the enemy before they even executed those movements. A battle pod swiveled in flight in order to aim at Ben's plane, but Ben easily realized that he could dodge the shot if he switched to Battloid mode while performing a snap roll, which would then leave him in the perfect position to blast the pod with his auto-cannon. To Ben's mind it all happened in slow motion, but in real time it had only taken seven seconds.

'_Why couldn't I fly like this when I was playing against Max in the arcade?_' mused Ben, knowing that was strictly rhetorical.

"Nice move there big brother!" came crackling over the TACNET. Max was alive!

"It was truly inspired Benjamin." Miriya was still alive too. Ben shouldn't be surprised about either friend; the newlyweds were the best pilots in any of the fleets.

"Glad to see you two. I thought I was going to have to do all the heavy lifting here." Ben said with a relieved laugh.

"So, is Cmdr Hunter truly gone?" asked the young Zentraedi woman. Her voice had a touch of sympathy Ben was surprised to hear.

"He's certainly down, Miriya. I saw his Veritech get hit pretty bad while he was in Battloid mode. It looked like it was still intact, but it was just drifting."

"So he could just be unconscious!" chimed Max.

"I hope Rick is only knocked out little brother, but I didn't think we could afford to wait to find out if he was going to wake up; he could be unconscious because he got severely injured. Someone had to take charge and I lost contact with the two of you."

"This was definitely one of times Rick said would be OK to break radio silence," Max reassured him.

"I know. So…you wanna take the reins here little bro?"

"No Ben, you remain in charge. Miriya and I will cover your flanks."

"Then let's go get 'em Skulls!"

With that the three pilots broke into a triple helix of maneuvering, seeming to weave in and out of each other's paths, blasting enemy upon enemy, still edging closer to the objective, trying to avenge their commander.

* * *

The members of Skull squadron would have been overjoyed to find that Rick was indeed alive but unconscious. Unfortunately for Rick, his Veritech was drifting closer to the planet. If the heat alarms hadn't started going off, he might not have woken in time to realize his craft was entering the upper atmosphere. After checking to make sure Skull 1 was still flyable, Rick jettisons the extra armor and missile pods, switches to fighter mode, descends down to an altitude of 5000 kilometers and, without intentionally seeking it, heads in the direction of the now ruined Alaska Base to scout the devastation.

* * *

His friends in Skull would have been relieved to know Rick was still alive but there would have no time for celebration. They were in the thickest part of the melee; it seemed there were twenty times as many enemy pods as there had been just a few minutes ago. Missile salvos flash back and forth as the line of battle shifts between the opposing forces. With so many more ships there was less room for error in maneuvering and the increasing amount of debris tripled the difficulty. How many times did RDF pilots dodge a battle pod successfully only to plow through a cloud of shrapnel from the destruction of a different pod? The jagged bits of dozens of blasted fighters was becoming as much of, if not more than, a danger to the surviving ships than the enemy pods firing at them. A couple of times the shrapnel was so dense Ben could hear the fragments bounce off his Veritech with the sound of a snare drum roll. He was extremely lucky that only one or two pieces actually penetrated the fighter; Miriya had been able to tell him it only caused a couple of small holes in one of his tail fins. There were no issues with the handling of the plane, so Ben soldiered on to complete the mission.

Ben had no choice at one point. It was either fly through the shrapnel or fly into any of half a dozen pods that were trying to cut his path off. The necessity of the maneuver didn't lessen the shock of seeing the side of a small battle cruiser loom in front of him when he exited the shrapnel cloud. Ben was too close to turn so he had to think fast, especially since a pair of pods was closing on him. He changed quickly to Guardian mode and began aiming the thrusters to start slowing himself down. When he had cut his speed in half, he continued the transformation into Battloid mode orienting feet first toward the cruiser's side and continued applying thrust to slow his ship down. From Battloid mode, Ben could target his pursuers and soon there were two fewer pods to deal with. And as soon as the feet registered contact Ben pushed off with his Battloid like a swimmer leaving the wall after a turn. Once safely away from the side of the cruiser, Ben changed back to Fighter mode and sped toward his next targets.

* * *

Back on Earth, Rick was continuing along on his flight, a grim set to his mouth as he soaked in the scenes of destruction. '_There's no way anybody is alive down there._' Rick thought glumly. He was about to change direction when he heard something come over the TACNET.

"…please respond. Repeat. This is Cmdr Hayes of Alaska Base. Anyone who can hear my voice please respond."

"It's me Lisa!" Rick blurts out in response.

_That sounds like Rick Hunter._ Lisa yells out "Is that you Rick?"

"Lisa, are you alright?"

"Yes but I think I'm the only one. I can't reach anyone else."

"You're all alone? Give me your coordinates. Hurry, I'm coming in right now to get you out."

* * *

In the thick of the battle, it would normally be difficult to keep track of communications, but the order for radio silence, in order to broadcast Minmei, left the TACNET almost eerily quiet. Only the sporadic chatter for assistance came over the plane-to-plane channel. The main channels were only Minmei. That is why Ben startled briefly when he heard what seemed like Cmdr Hunter communicating, but it was difficult to tell as the transmission had lots of static.

"…pond…ayes…ska base…hear me…."

"…me..!"

"…you Rick"

"…are…alright…"

"…think I'm alone…can't reach…"

"…coordinates…coming in now…"

"Hey Max!" Ben said excitedly, "Can't be sure, but I think I just heard the Skipper on the TACNET. Sounds like he's going to rescue someone at Alaska Base."

"Are you sure about that Ben? That area looked like it took a real pounding. I don't know how anyone could have survived."

"Maybe I'm hearing things; it might just be wishful thinking."

Miriya growls, "As cruel as it may sound, whether Cmdr Hunter is still alive is not our concern! We have our foes in front of us here! If we focus on the task at hand then they will not withstand our fury!"

"She's right Ben, "Max said with a hint of pride for his wife, "Until the SDF-1 can attack Dolza's flagship directly our job isn't finished. To be honest, I believe you really did hear the Skipper, but if he made it down to Earth, then there's nothing we can do to help him except win this damn battle."

"Then it sounds like we need to get busy." Ben avows and punches the afterburner to search for more of the enemy.

More Veritechs are beginning to get shot up. The battle has raged for such a long time, as far as fighter engagements go, that fatigue is starting to affect the pilots of the RDF, causing normally steady flyers to make mistakes. Even those pilots whose wits and reflexes are still about them are running into issues; the Veritechs were beginning to run out of ammunition. That meant every shot absolutely had to count; every missile had to hit home. And there were still swarms of enemy ships. Could the fighters hold on just a little bit longer? Why hadn't the SDF-1 started its final attack?

It didn't seem possible, but the battle increased in intensity. Enemy battle cruisers were exploding all around the remnants of Skull squadron and Ben was hard pressed to dodge the gouts of plasma jetting out of several ruptured hulls. No Veritech did that damage; it was the big guns of Breetai's ships. That must mean the SDF-1 was very close to the final gambit.

An All-call came over the TACNET, "All guard fighters break off attack immediately."

"That's the signal you guys! Let's high tail it out of here. We do not want to be around when the SDF-1 fires all its Reflex missiles." Ben ordered over the plane-to-plane channel. They all knew the plan, but Ben was the one who truly understood it. The battle fortress was going to ram its way into the inner sanctum of Dolza, fire every last Reflex warhead and intentionally force the barrier shield system to overload. That was the only way to guarantee the destruction of Dolza's forces, the only way to generate enough destructive force. And there was no way in hell Ben wanted to be within a lunar orbit's distance when that thing went off. He had narrowly survived the first time the barrier overloaded and had no doubts that this time it would be a much, much bigger cloud of destructive plasma. Without a second glance, Ben did a high loop and flipped around to escape the blast zone.

As he and the rest of the Veritechs beat a quick retreat out of the danger zone, Ben switched his left monitor screen to a rear facing camera, partly to gauge pursuit and partly to witness the success or failure of the most critical part of the RDF's mission today. No enemies were currently in front of him, but there were still vast debris fields to navigate, so Ben had to keep most of his attention focused on flying. As they all gradually moved out of the area of heaviest fighting Ben could pay a bit more attention to the rear view. He saw the SDF-1 plunge into the side of the massive flagship, pinpoint barriers glittering in front of the arms of the main gun as well as the Daedalus and the Prometheus. It was a "Daedalus Attack" using the entire bulk of the battle fortress, which is how much Dolza's ship dwarfed the SDF-1.

Their forces were not totally clear, because some enemy battle pods were still giving chase. _Damn,_ thought Ben, _We need a few more minutes to get free._

He had to make a quick decision. Ben barked over the plane-to-plane channel "OK you guys, anyone that still has any ammo, we need to hang back and discourage those jokers tailing us. If you're out of ammo, just keep going, we'll cover you!" They were only sending a small force after them, so Ben reasoned that even though any one plane was critically low on ammunition, collectively they still had enough to send these bozos packing. He swung his fighter around and into Battloid mode and lined up the first enemy vehicle for a burst from his auto-cannon. Ben saw several dozen Veritechs shoot past him, but was heartened when almost half turned as he had done. He put two rounds in the pod he had targeted and as he went to line up another shot he saw many other pods in the trailing force also explode. Ben breathed a huge sigh of relief as the last attacker vaporized.

"Great job everyone," Ben broadcast, "but stay sharp. I don't know how big the blast radius will be when the big firecracker pops. We need to keep moving away from the attack zone." _And keep our fingers crossed._ Ben thought grimly. For the first time since they began retreating, he had time to think of Kim. His poor dear Kim who was sitting on the bridge of that battle fortress, bravely doing **her** duty. Ben could still hear Minmei's singing, so he knew she was still alive, but she had no way of knowing he had made it through. He stared numbly at Dolza's gigantic ship and prayed. It hung there like a huge destructive fist. Even the bubbling of its skin made it look ominous. _Wait a minute, _something dawned on Ben, _there weren't any bubbles on that thing when we had been captured._ A big sloppy grin began to appear on his face. "All RDF fighters! The gambit worked! That big pickle over there is gonna blow! Activate your anti-glare shields and let's get the hell out of here!"

It was unimaginable how huge the fireball from the barrier overload was. It not only engulfed Dolza's flagship but almost all of the rest of his fleet! Ben could see Breetai's ships mopping up the stragglers who hadn't been caught in the blast. But what was the cost? Was everyone on the battle fortress vaporized along with Dolza? It had been a terrible cost for the pilots; of the hundreds that took off earlier only a handful were still alive. Max and Miriya had made it and Ben thought he recognized the ships of Turner and Broche from Blue squadron but there were a lot more ships he didn't recognize. Ben couldn't help but wonder how many of those pilots who died today had been in their first action?

As the melancholy feeling washed over him, Ben began to hum along to a Minmei song. It was a heck of a thing to get stuck in your head at a time like this, but not surprising, since she was essentially the soundtrack for the whole battle. _Wait a minute,_ Ben realized, _that wasn't playing in my head. I was singing along with the radio!_

"Ben! Do you hear that?" Max was just as astonished as Ben.

"Sure do little brother! They MADE IT!" Ben grinned ear to ear; he would give Kim the biggest hug and kiss she had ever gotten from him.

Soon Claudia Grant's voice came over the TACNET, "Attention all Veritechs. The SDF-1 has sustained significant damage to its propulsion systems. We are forced to descend to the planet and we will not be able to recover fighters while we are going through the atmosphere so land on the nearest friendly ship. Repeat, the SDF-1 is not able to perform fighter recovery operations. Land on the nearest friendly ship. Good luck and see you all soon dirt side."

"You heard the lady," Ben reiterated over the plane-to-plane channel, "Let's get in out of the cold."

* * *

By coincidence, the closest ship to Ben, Max and Miriya was Breetai's flagship. After they landed, Breetai had the three of them escorted to his bridge, where he warmly greeted Miriya (to her surprise) and gravely apologized to Ben for his captivity. Ben didn't know how, but he knew Breetai really was sorry and he accepted the large alien's apology with the sincerity it was intended. Miriya then introduced Max to Breetai. Max couldn't help comment on how much bigger this ship was compared to how he remembered it. That puzzled Breetai immensely, because he was absolutely sure this blue-haired Micronian was not one of the ones that had been interrogated.

Ben pointed sheepishly at the giant view screen behind Breetai, which was still not repaired, and admitted he had flown his Veritech through that particular screen when "us Micronians" were trying to escape. To the surprise of everyone in the room, especially the Zentraedi bridge staff, Breetai let out a loud and long belly laugh. He had never seen the pilot of that damnable blue mecha that had come crashing through everything in a mad dash to evade pursuing Zentraedi soldiers and now he had finally met him. He told Miriya that this Micronian was a mate worthy of the Quadrano leader. In an offhanded manner Breetai told her that he respected any warrior that could toss him bodily out of his own ship. Miriya did a double take at that comment and began to pester Max for details. The great Breetai was the one Zentraedi warrior Miriya would ever admit to being better than her. And to hear that her own husband had ejected Breetai bodily out of this very cruiser was an absolute shock to her. She could not believe that Max had never mentioned anything about this and she had to know every single detail about that mano-a-mano battle. Max finally had to agree to tell her everything later, after they were settled down in their quarters for the night. Both Ben and Breetai couldn't help letting out warm laughs at the sight of the young couple interacting. (1)

* * *

After a day recovering from the exhaustion of the epic battle, the Veritech pilots took their leave of Breetai and began the long flight to Earth to rejoin the SDF-1 and the rest of their friends. Ben was amazed as they maneuvered to enter the atmosphere, the plasma ball from the barrier overload caused complete annihilation of Dolza's Main fleet. There was not even a stray atom remaining of over 4 millions space cruisers. The little band of heroes was not cheered as they gradually descended to the surface. Where they had seen welcoming green in the past, the surface of the planet was now nothing more than blasted and twisted brown. Ben was on the verge of tears when they flew over what had been the Great Plains of North America. Instead of acres and acres of farms there was now only desolation. Down there in the midst of the shattered cropland was his family's farm certainly now nothing more than a smoking ruin. The grief of that loss threatened to overcome Ben; there weren't even enough landmarks left to attempt to locate the farm. (2) Even Miriya gasped at the total destruction.

Skull flight grimly followed the navigation beacon sent out by the SDF-1; it appeared that by chance or design they had managed to land the battle fortress in a crater near where Alaska Base had been. They neared to see the now derelict hulk sitting waist deep in the giant hole, the Daedalus and Prometheus arms held even with the rim of the crater. The deck of Prometheus was not completely level, but it was OK enough to land back on the ship. It might look like one of the first things they would need to build was an airfield. Ben wondered if the field at Alaska Base could be repaired.

There was one pleasant surprise waiting after they had landed and taxied to a stop. Rick Hunter was there on the hangar deck waiting to greet them; he gave all of them a big hug as they climbed down from each cockpit. He had some great news too: He had been able to rescue Cmdr Hayes from Alaska Base during the battle. Ben wasn't sure if the Sterlings had caught it, but he had noticed how much happier Rick sounded and how much more of a sparkle his eyes had whenever he was talking about Lisa Hayes. _Does that mean the Skipper is finally getting a clue?_

Ben got changed out of his flight suit and into a regular uniform and went to grab a bite to eat in the officers' mess. He wanted a full stomach before tackling the after-action report he had to file. _The battle may be over, but the paperwork never ends._ He chuckled as he sat down to eat. There was a hectic level of activity all over the ship. The battle fortress looked like it took a few good hits during the battle, so Ben was sure repair and damage control parties were very busy. Sickbay and the civilian hospitals were probably swamped as well; Ben was hoping the confusion would subside quickly so he could try and locate his parents. He felt a little guilty that he wasn't worrying about Kim, but the bridge area appeared like it didn't get a scratch, so he knew Kim was going to be among the survivors.

These morose thoughts weren't helping Ben's appetite, so he was still sitting and picking at his food when someone came up from behind and grabbed him in a chokehold of a hug. The surprise flashed by quickly and he twisted around to see who was clinging so tightly to his neck. He should have figured it out from the first squeeze, but the violet eyes he met told him everything he needed to know. He bolted up from his chair, swept Kim into a wild embrace and whirled her around before planting a very deep kiss on her. He was not going to let her go ever again. They both knew at their cores that as long as they can be together, they could face the trials of the new life ahead of themselves and all the survivors on the SDF-1.

* * *

Author's Notes: I've actually been finding the battle scenes in these last two chapters the toughest to write. I struggled a little on how much to describe without getting pages upon pages of dull minutia. Yet if I didn't describe enough of the action, there would be no excitement or tension. It was a fine line and I hope, dear readers, you find I walked it well.

(1) This is a scene idea I lifted from the story _Aces of Hearts_ by Hung Nguyen. It was extremely difficult to recreate the scene here without doing a "cut and paste" from there. I am not trying to plagiarize and give full credit where it is due.

(2) Read my single chapter ficlet _Bloom of Hope_ to find out more about Dixon Farm. (I know…shameless plug.) ;-)

The Chapter title is lyrics from _War_ by Edwin Starr. (It is the song lyric that follows the one I used for the Chapter 10 title.)


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 12 – It's just a Pleasant Valley Sunday**

Ben landed his Veritech and taxied it to a hardstand near the hangars. Today's patrol was finally over and he was looking forward to a day off tomorrow. With the amount of missions he's had to fly the past couple of weeks, it's no surprise Ben needs a break. He wearily climbs out of the cockpit and trudges toward the pilots' ready room, hoping to take a quick shower before filling out the paperwork for the mission report. Ben was starting to get a bit more respect for all the work Capt. Hunter had to do to run Skull squadron since he was Acting CAG while Rick was gone.

It doesn't feel that long ago since Ben received his own promotion. Because of the need to focus on healing the Earth, there was not a lot of pomp and ceremony; with the planet in shambles, it didn't really feel like a victory. But eventually, a few months after the devastation, after housing had gotten stabilized and new towns and cities had begun to be built, the brass decided they could finally reward those who had turned the tide of battle. First, the flag officers made sure everyone who had died in the battle with Dolza received a posthumous promotion and commendation for bravery. All the surviving soldiers and pilots also received citations and commendations and promotions, where warranted. The ceremonies for the living were low-keyed affairs, rather than huge public spectacles. The people didn't need that kind of inspiration to make it through what their daily lives had become.

The biggest surprise was what the brass decided to give to Ben. All the surviving pilots received the Distinguished Flying Cross, varying from pilot to pilot only in which clusters were also awarded with it. The surprise was that Ben was the only pilot to receive the Titanium Medal of Valor for his actions during the battle. His assuming command of the fighters during the battle, after (then) Cmdr Hunter's Veritech was disabled showed superior initiative and excellent character. The final push of the fighters under Ben's command during that final phase of the battle made the difference in the SDF-1 being able to attack Dolza's flagship. Finally, Ben also received a promotion to 1st Lieutenant. Ben was totally surprised at the medals. He wasn't trying to earn them when he stepped up; he just did his job and did what had to be done.

Soon after that he got to celebrate Kim's birthday. (1) It was a simple dinner, just Kim and himself, but a welcome step back toward normalcy.

Now, almost two years after the medal ceremony, the RDF is even busier than ever. The planet is gradually getting rebuilt; however, many of the Zentraedi who have decided to stay on Earth with the Micronians have become restless and long for the old ways of battle and conquest. More patrols have resulted in skirmishes with the malcontents and damage of civilian areas. It was an exhausting, seemingly never ending pace that wasn't helped by Rick, Max, and Miriya not being on duty. _Sigh. At least I have tomorrow off. _thought an extremely tired Ben. Luckily days off were mandatory after extensive patrols, to keep fatigue from overwhelming the pilots.

* * *

Ben felt better after a hot shower, the tiredness melting away a little. He at least had enough energy to file the mission report for the patrol but it still took a while to complete. Sitting in Rick's office, Ben typed away on the computerized forms, glad that there was no longer any actual paper to push for this. As he was getting close to finishing, he hears a small knock at the office door. Ben looks up and into his favorite pair of violet eyes and lets a big grin spread across his face.

"Hey hotshot, someone said I could find you here in Capt. Hunter's office."

"Yeah, the never ending filing of reports. I hope Rick, Miriya, and Max come back soon." (2)

"I can sympathize with you. Capt Hayes and Cmdr Grant went with them, so the bridge is hectic too."

"Any idea why they had to join up with Breetai?"

"No, it was all kind of secret. Oh Ben, I hope they're alright."

"Me too. So…why did you trudge all the way out here to the airfield?" Ben said with a hopeful smile.

Kim leans in with a smile and says, "I'm glad you reminded me Lt. Dixon. I came over here to let you know that I justhappen to have tomorrow off." A wicked twinkle flashes in her eyes.

"And I suppose you already know I have tomorrow off."

"Of course dear, I did help Capt. Hayes draft up the flight policies after all." Kim says in a sexy breathy tone, "Now, what should we do tomorrow."

"Well, I promised my Mom to come over for the Famous Dixon Sunday brunch in the morning, but after we're done there, we have the rest of the day to ourselves." Ben says trying to match her tone.

"After _we_ go to your parents? That's a little presumptuous, isn't it?" Kim tries to pretend being offended.

"You know my Mom adores you. Besides, my day off starts as soon as I finish up this mission report and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have come all the way out here if you weren't already off the clock. So the big question I guess is what we're going to do tonight."

"Hmm…I guess I'll have to think about that while you finish up now. You better hurry; I might leave if I get bored." Kim wiggles her eyebrows and the two of them start laughing.

* * *

As it turned out, with the two of them exhausted from the extra duty, they settled for a quiet dinner and an early night, since they were supposed to get to Ben's parent's house by 9am. They arrived there a few minutes early and Ben's Mom began to fuss over them immediately; it was a real comfort to him that his mom really did like Kim. Ben went into the kitchen to help his Dad finish up the food while his Mom entertained Kim in the living room. When she stepped in, Kim noticed a new picture hanging on the wall and went over to inspect it closer. It wasn't a picture, it was a document. And it looked like it was something dated from the early 1800's. (3)

"Ooh, what's this Mrs. Dixon?"

"Please Kim, call me Lois." Mrs. Dixon said, patting Kim on the arm, "This is a family treasure Ben recovered by some miracle."

"Really? What is it?"

"It is the family copy of the deed to what was our family farm. It belonged to Mr. Dixon's side of the family for many generations." There was a touch of pride in Mrs. Dixon's voice. "I still can't believe Ben had the luck to find and save these sentimental treasures." Mrs. Dixon brushes Kim's cheek and earlobe; Kim wore the amethyst set today.

"It is quite amazing Mrs. Dix…um…Lois. It's also quite sad. Ben told me quite a few stories about his Grandmother; I think I really would have liked to meet her."

"Well she certainly would have enjoyed meeting you, even if just for those eyes of yours. I'm sure Ben has told you a million times, but purple was her favorite color."

Kim absentmindedly fingers the amethyst necklace and nods in agreement.

"OK ladies; please take a seat in the dining room. Brunch is served." Mr. Dixon calls out from the kitchen.

There was a bit of small talk around the table while everyone was eating, but everyone was focusing more on savoring the meal. Mr. Dixon was an excellent cook and Kim thought all the dishes rivaled those of a hotel chef. Finally, when everyone felt full, Ben helped his Mom bring out coffee and tea. As they sat around sipping the piping hot beverages, Kim decided to indulge her curiosity.

'Lois, you said earlier that Mr. Dixon's side of the family was farmers. What did your side of the family do?"

"Isn't it obvious dear?" chuckled Mrs. Dixon. "DRY-CLEANING!" all the Dixons practically shouted.

"Maybe not as many generations back as Dad's side of the family, but still a couple anyway." stated Ben proudly.

"Yes. My father started the first shop when he was a young man and eventually grew the business to twenty-five stores in the Midwest, mostly around Chicago."

"The whole reason we were on Macross Island in the first place was because Leo, that's Lois' father, thought servicing the needs of the military and civilians working on the SDF-1 would be a shrewd business move."

Mrs. Dixon turned to Ben and squeezed his hand, "Your Grandpa Leo was a pretty smart cookie."

Turning back toward Kim, "If he had been able to know, I think Leo would have been proud that we had the first dry-cleaning franchise in space."

"Wow. It really sounds like Ben had some very amazing grandparents."

"Yes he did. Now, if only Ben would get married and make us grandparents. We're not getting any younger."

Ben and Kim both blushed at that statement.

"Glad I can count on you to be subtle Ma." Ben said dejectedly.

* * *

Ben and Kim said their goodbyes after the dishes were washed and after a lot of hugging from Ben's mom, the two of them decided to walk to a nearby park to get a little fresh air.

"I want to apologize about my Mom. She usually doesn't try to embarrass me in front of company."

"That's OK dear, she meant well."

"Just a shame she has no idea what the word 'subtle' means." Ben chuckled, "She is persistent though. I've been getting the 'grandchildren' kvetch since Max and Miriya got married."

"I'm starting to notice on the persistence." Kim says, laughing along.

"It just bugs me when she pushes, that's all."

"Does that mean you'd want kids someday, fly-boy?"

"Yeah, I would. I just don't think I'm ready yet, especially with everything going on with reconstruction and the some of the Zentraedi getting disgruntled. What about you? Would you like to be a mom someday?"

"I believe I would but I don't think I'm ready yet either. For one thing, I would need to be married to the most amazing husband before I'd consider children." she says with a hopeful glance toward Ben.

"Amazing huh? How do I rate so far?"

"Hmm…if amazing is a ten, then I think you're sitting around an eight." a teasing tone drifts into Kim's voice. "But you do seem to be improving on that score lately."

"Good thing there's still hope then. I'd hate to miss out on you just because I couldn't work my way up to amazing."

The young couple laughs together and continues walking and enjoying their day off, secure that there is peace at least for one day.

* * *

Author's Notes: I actually had a little trouble writing this chapter; the back-to-back chapters with major battle scenes took a bit out of me.

(1) Please read _Bloom of Hope_, my one shot ficlet to get the details. (Sorry…shameless plug.)

(2) This portion of the story occurs concurrently with the episode _Viva Miriya_.

(3) See all the information you're missing if you haven't read _Bloom of Hope_?

Chapter title is lyrics from _Pleasant Valley Sunday_ by The Monkees.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Will Ben be able to handle Khyron while Rick rescues Minmei and Kyle?

* * *

**Chapter 13 – Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak.**

Ben was relieved to have Max, Miriya and the others back on Earth. It was quite the surprise to find that the secret mission had been to capture a Zentraedi factory satellite and an even bigger surprise to find out baby Dana had been the key element of the victory! That will be something to tease his "niece" about when she gets older.

There was no rest for the weary though as patrols continued in a seemingly never ending schedule. Just a couple of days ago Capt. Hunter responded to a disturbance in New Detroit. A group of rebel Zentraedi was attempting to steal a protoculture chamber. He and his wingmen were able to stop the theft easily enough, but were not able to secure the chamber. Unfortunately Lin Kyle was also there in New Detroit with Minmei and he began to incite the crowd, yelling his anti-military chants, forcing Rick to leave the chamber in the hands of the mayor, almost totally unprotected. Capt. Hunter was very bothered by that, since his mission had been to secure the chamber after the attempted theft was foiled. He had serious misgivings and expected to have to respond to another emergency in New Detroit soon.

Those misgivings came true that evening, as the renegade Zentraedi warlord Khyron attacked New Detroit in another attempt to obtain the protoculture chamber. He could reverse the micronization process on any Zentraedi who wished it with that chamber and literally grow his forces. Things went easy for Khyron because Kyle had convinced the Mayor of New Detroit that the chamber would be safe if they stored it in the Civic Arena building. Kyle also convinced the Mayor that having Minmei perform a concert at the Civic Arena auditorium would help the morale of the people by showing them the jackboot thugs of the army didn't control the citizens of New Detroit. That gave Khyron an extra prize, as he now also had Kyle and Minmei as his hostages.

* * *

Emboldened by the capture of Minmei, Khyron demands the SDF-1 as ransom to be delivered the next day, not realizing it is essentially a useless hulk now. The senior staff of the battle fortress tried to formulate a plan of action quickly, knowing any rescue would have to be tonight. One of Admr Gloval's aides stated "One thing is clear. This is a blatant act of terrorism and must be dealt with by our most capable officers." Gloval replies "Then I hope we are all in agreement. We will appoint Capt. Hunter and his squadron of Veritechs to lead the operation."

The strike team was quickly assembled and within two hours the briefings were complete and the mission ready commence. In the briefing, it was decided that Khyron needed to be lured away from where he was holding the hostages. At that point, Capt. Hunter would sweep in with a Veritech flight and perform the actual rescue. The rest of Skull, with Ben in command, would lead the "bait" force, call sign Anvil, with hopefully enough firepower to capture Khyron. This would be a risky mission and would require precise timing.

Out on the flight line, as the squadron was preparing to take off, Ben saw Capt. Lisa Hayes talking with Capt. Hunter. From the look on Rick's face, Ben could tell they were having another of their now legendary arguments. Ben sighed and shook his head. Rick and Lisa were two stubborn people, to the point they would never willing admit the true feelings each had for the other. At least Capt. Hayes was professional enough to not let things like that affect her performance; she would be in command of the AWACS plane, call sign Pelican Mother, assigned to the mission.

Ben took off with the majority of Skull squadron accompanied by a platoon of Destroid "Monsters" and a platoon of Destroid Tomahawks. They were to take position at a small bowl-like canyon, staying out of sight behind the ridgeline. To keep from tipping off Khyron, all the Veritechs would be on the ground in Battloid mode. That suited Ben just fine; he thought he performed best in that mode. After positioning the Destroid platoons and his Veritechs, Ben waited for word to start the "bait" portion of the mission.

Finally, the TACNET crackled, "Anvil, this is Pelican Mother. Begin Operation Cry Wolf."

"Roger Pelican Mother, beginning operation."

When Capt. Hayes cut the connection, Ben signaled the decoy "attack" to begin. A squad of Zentraedi loyal to the RDF began broadcasting a staged report to Khyron that they were under attack by fighters and needed reinforcements. It sounded fairly convincing to Ben but it was Khyron who needed to be fooled.

About twenty minutes after the decoy performance, the TACNET crackled, "Anvil, this is Pelican Mother. Eyes Front reports 'Dark Star has fallen.' Repeat, 'Dark Star has fallen.' Khyron is on the march."

"Roger that Pelican Mother. The welcoming committee will be ready."

Over the plane-to-plane channel, Ben gave the heads up to his forces "OK Anvil, let's get ready. The skunks are coming to crash our party." The small squad of Zentraedi, matched by an equal number of Battloids, went down to the center of the bowl to stage a skirmish for the benefit of Khyron: when he arrives he will see "his" forces fighting with elements of the RDF. Once Khyron's forces have been drawn into the bowl, these "skirmishers" will escape over the ridgeline and the trapping force will emerge from over the ridgeline. Once the trap is sprung, Anvil force not only had to try and capture the renegade warlord, they had to keep Khyron's forces occupied long enough for Capt. Hunter's squad to swoop in and rescue Minmei and Kyle .

* * *

Fifteen minutes passed before an alert scout saw the cloud of dust that signaled the arrival of Khyron. "Places everyone," prompted Ben, "We need to make this look good." A few more minutes passed before the renegade forces began entering the bowl. At that signal, the decoy skirmishers turned and fled over the ridge, drawing the enemy forces deeper into the bowl, until Khyron signaled a stop. It was starting to look like he realized something was not right; however, it was too late for him now. As Khyron's troops come to a halt, the Destroids and Veritechs move up over the ridge and encircle the renegades. Khyron became livid as he realized it was a trap. "Show no mercy to those traitors!" he screams as Anvil force begins their attack.

"Pelican Mother, this is Anvil leader. The trap is sprung, repeat, the trap is sprung." Ben reports to Capt Hayes on the AWACS. To his troops on the ground, "OK Anvil, we need to keep these jokers busy. The objective is to capture Khyron!" With that, Ben moves his Battloid into the fray and begins taking out enemy pods.

Again, as during the battle against Dolza, time seems to slow down for Ben. He can see he needs to dodge right before a pod can finish taking aim on his Veritech and it is no trouble for him to aim and fire while on the move. Scratch one pod. Ben sees another pod nearby has blasted one of the Tomahawks, he moves closer and blasts that pod before it registers his presence. He should have figured this, but it looks like Khyron's forces will not surrender; Khyron is crazy enough to fight to the last Zentraedi.

The battle was beginning to degenerate into a confused melee, with little clumps of "man-to-man" action. It was easy to imagine the Veritechs and Zentraedi holding broadswords instead of GU-11 gunpods, the fighting had become that primal.

Ben was searching specifically for Khyron but had no issues blasting any pods that came within his targeting sensors. He finally spotted what he was looking for, a Zentraedi officers pod, but there was also a Zentraedi riding atop a captured "Monster" that appeared to giving orders. Ben needed to get closer; capturing Khyron was the objective and he needed a positive ID. On a hunch, Ben charged toward the warrior riding the mecha; only someone like Khyron would be so arrogant to use a Destroid as a "royal" steed.

There was still a lot of fighting between his position and where Ben suspected Khyron to be. He moved his Battloid across the field, dodging pods and Veritechs. He activated his thrusters to "hurdle" a downed pod and continued toward the enemy held Destroid. He could see several other Veritechs arrive at the huge mecha first, all attempting to bring down the Zentraedi on top but the target was not cooperating. The large figure knocked one Veritech off his perch and disarmed the second, using the stolen gunpod to destroy the Battloid. That settled it for Ben; that had to be Khyron up there. Only a Warlord would have the skill in hand-to-hand combat to take on multiple opponents.

Close in combat wasn't going to get Khyron; he was too tough a fighter. Ben had to try and disable Khyron from long distance. He brought his weapon up and activated "Sniper" mode on the targeting system; it would function like a scope on a deer rifle. Although he doubted anyone would cry if the enemy leader were killed the orders were to capture alive, so Ben aimed for one of Khyron's shoulders in an attempt to disable the Warlord. Time slowed to almost a standstill as Ben waited for the perfect shot. Khyron was gyrating wildly, throwing and hammering at all comers trying to topple him from his perch on the Destroid. Ben needed to wait….and wait…until…YES! Khyron paused to take a breath and survey the battlefield. Ben had a clear shot! He squeezes the trigger, and watches as a battle pod that drifted into the line of fire explodes, sparing Khyron. At the same time, another Veritech attempting to climb up to Khyron caused a missile in the Destroid's arm to launch, hitting and damaging the Zentraedi officer's pod. Khyron screamed out what Ben supposed was a name and ran toward the officer's pod; Ben wasn't going to get a second shot.

After checking on the occupant of the officer's pod, Khyron yells to his troops, "Legions! Fall back! All pods retreat!"

Only strong discipline kept Ben from letting out a string of curses; Khyron was going to get away!

"Pelican Mother, this is Anvil leader. The Dark Star has slipped the noose."

"Roger Anvil leader. Mop up any resistance. Send pursuit to track the target if possible."

"Roger Pelican Mother. Any word on Skull flight?"

"Skull flight has accomplished their objective. Good work on your end Ben, but you need to secure your area and wait for further orders."

"Copy that Capt. Hayes. Anvil leader out."

"Johnson and Marks," Ben shouts out to two of the least damaged Skulls, "Get airborne and track Khyron's retreat. Do not engage; just follow him so we know where he's heading."

Ben received two affirmatives and saw a pair of Veritechs switch from Battloids to Guardians, swiftly take off then morph again to Fighter mode before zooming off in the direction of the departing warlord. Ben hoped they would be able to keep tabs on Khyron, but he wasn't ready to underestimate his foe. He scanned the battlefield and saw that the Tomahawks had the handful of prisoners under control; any other enemy Zentraedi were either dead or running away with Khyron.

"Skull leader to Anvil leader. Come in Ben." comes over the TACNET.

"Anvil leader here. What's up Rick?"

"Capt. Hayes has ordered me to pursue Khyron. You up for a little hunting tonight?"

"Sure, I just need to make sure things are secure here. I already have Johnson and Marks tailing the target."

"Good. Catch up and form up on me when you get airborne."

"Roger that Skull leader."

To the men in Anvil force, Ben barks, "Jones, Hayashi, Detlov, Harper and Todd with me. The rest of you keep watch on the prisoners and head back to base after Command collects them."

Ben then leads five other Veritechs into the sky and toward a rendezvous with Capt. Hunter.

* * *

Author's Notes: This chapter is basically the events in _Khyron's Revenge_ and _Broken Heart_ from the point of view of the trapping force, which I had Ben commanding.

The chapter title is lyrics from _Jailbreak_ by Thin Lizzy.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 14 – I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?**

Ben was frustrated. Actually everyone who participated in Operations Star Saver and Cry Wolf were frustrated. Khyron had gotten away. He was able to give Johnson and Marks the slip as the chase went on past sunset. Skull squadron continued searching through the night, but no trace could be found of the wily, if erratic warlord. Since Rick's squad had been on patrol before the operations began, they were ordered back to base as the sun rose. Since Ben's force hadn't been called up to duty until the start of the rescue, they had to continue patrolling for the rest of the day.

The patrol was uneventful and the time quickly passed. Before Ben realized, his squad was ordered back to base; the patrol was over, time to head home. Just before twilight, Anvil flight landed and taxied to their assigned spots on the hardstand. The weary pilots climbed out of their cockpits and trudged to the locker room for a well deserved shower. Ben still had to file the reports for the rescue mission and the patrol, but they did not take an unreasonable amount of time and soon he was walking toward the bridge area of the SDF-2. Flight control had been moved there a few months ago since it was less cramped than the bridge of the SDF-1.

Changed into his civvies, Ben stuck his head in as he was passing the officer's break room near the SDF-2's bridge. As luck would have it, he spotted his favorite bridge officer, Kim, sitting and having a cup of coffee.

"Hey gorgeous, how was your day?"

"It's been OK for the most part, but the morning was pretty awkward."

"How so?"

"Well, Capt, Hayes called Capt. Hunter up to the bridge after he landed this morning. I saw her holding a small metal tin and humming, so I think she was going to give Capt. Hunter some sort of peace offering."

"What's so awkward about that?" asked a puzzled Ben.

"The awkward part was when Capt. Hunter stormed in and began chewing out Capt. Hayes. Saying stuff like 'I am aware of military protocol.' and things like that."

"Ouch. That sounds like something the Skipper would say when he's miffed."

"It gets worse. He starts yelling at Capt. Hayes that his private life is none of her business and starts talking with Vanessa to prove his point. As he's over with Vanessa, Capt. Hayes gets this stone faced look on her, you know the one, because now she's mad at Capt. Hunter."

"Oivay, that's worse alright."

"Here's the worst part of all. After Capt. Hayes leaves the bridge, Vanessa told Capt. Hunter he shouldn't have been so mean to Capt. Hayes. Capt. Hunter asked her why and Vanessa said 'Isn't it obvious sir? Capt. Hayes is in love with you.' Capt. Hunter just laughed at that thought. I think he said that Capt. Hayes only loves her career or something like that." (1)

"Geez Louise, are our two Captains the only ones who can't see they're meant for each other?"

"Well after Capt. Hunter left the bridge, I told Vanessa 'Why can't he just be a man and tell Capt. Hayes he loves her too?' and Vanessa comes right out and says 'Did it ever occur to you that Capt. Hunter might not feel the same way?' and that made everyone on the flight control deck so sad."

"Yeah that is so sad, because I can tell by listening to the boss that he really does like Capt. Hayes a lot. He might even be in love with her. Sheesh, they're two of the bravest people I know and they're both too chicken to tell each other face to face how they feel."

"I know. I hope they figure it out soon. I don't think we can take many more mornings like this one." Kim lets out a big sigh, "Oh well, time for me to get back to the bridge. My shift is over in another 45 minutes, are you going to wait for me?"

"Yup, I'll be here."

As Kim went back to the bridge to finish out her shift, Ben grabbed a Petite Cola and sat at one of the tables. After that last patrol, he really wanted a beer, but no alcohol was allowed on the base. _Beats me why the Skipper doesn't like this brand of cola. It tastes fine to me._ Ben flipped on the video monitor, but there wasn't much besides news on and he had read all the books in the break room at least twice. That just left getting lost in his thoughts or a nap and Ben still had a bit too much adrenaline going to sleep. He started feeling sorry for his friend and boss; from what Ben knew, Rick didn't have any family left alive. _Skull squadron is his family now,_ he mused_._ _Too bad Rick can't see that Capt. Hayes really does like him; you might even say they're a perfect match. _

A couple more colas later and Ben was finally relaxed, although still concerned about the Skipper. He couldn't help snickering at the thought that maybe Capt. Hayes was right: Capt. Hunter does have a thick skull. How else could Rick not see what he meant to her? Ben glances up at the video monitor; the news is still on and they're showing the weather report. _Looks like rain tonight. Good thing I've got an umbrella in my locker._ As he continues to watch the news, Ben feels a pair of arms surround him and a kiss on the cheek. "Hope you didn't get too bored waiting."

"Nah, just thinking and watching the weather report. It's gonna rain hard tonight. We should swing by my locker on the way out; I have an umbrella."

"OK. So, you get around to thinking about dinner while you were pondering life?" Kim asked with a smirk.

"I don't feel like cooking tonight. How's about that Italian place in town?"

"That actually sounds good, because I don't feel like cooking either. It's been that kind of day today. You should have seen Capt. Hayes when she left after her shift was over. She looked so sad and, well, drained."

"I feel real sorry for her. Nothing we can do about it though. Why don't you get changed and I'll go grab the umbrella."

* * *

The rain held off for their walk to the restaurant, neither wanting to take a cab. They were hoping the exercise would help clear their minds after the day each of them had. It was late enough that the restaurant was not too crowded; Ben and Kim were seated quickly and ordered veal scampi, four cheese ravioli and a bottle of Lambrusco, skipping the appetizers. After a few sips of the wine, they were finally relaxed from the stresses of work and they got into some more conversation while they ate.

Ben stared at Kim with an adoring expression, "You know… I feel really lucky to have you in my life."

"I'm glad you're still in my life; I would have been an absolute basket case if you had died that day in the Ontario sector. (2) That's why I had to tell you how I felt. I couldn't handle the thought of you being dead without knowing I loved you."

"We didn't have any trouble telling each other how we felt, but it did take a crisis to give a push in that direction. If I didn't get my tail feathers scorched, I don't know if we would be here at this point in our relationship." Ben put forth with a reflective tone.

"You mean maybe we'd still be wondering, like Capt. Hunter and Capt. Hayes? You'd think that any of the crises we've had the last few years would have pushed them to tell each other their feelings."

"Maybe. Getting all mopey about the past makes my head hurt. It's not like I don't relive the good memories, but I don't want to dwell in the past either. It's a little different in the Skipper's case too. I don't think he's in love with her, but I do think he still likes Minmei, at least as a friend. I wonder if Capt. Hayes sees Minmei as competition."

"Ooh…that would make sense. She was with Capt. Hunter for the Star Saver part of rescuing Minmei and Kyle yesterday. I wouldn't be surprised if those two had some sort of argument about it. That would explain why Capt. Hayes was going to make a peace offering to Capt. Hunter this morning!"

"Oh boy, if the Skipper really isn't in love with Minmei then he better tell Capt. Hayes how he really feels. I have this bad feeling that he's going to lose Lisa if he doesn't get that thick skull of his out of the clouds."

"I'm really glad you didn't have a thick skull dear. I can't even imagine how things would be going between us if we had the same kind of relationship Capt. Hayes and Capt. Hunter have." Kim couldn't help reaching across the table and squeezing Ben's hand. He returned the squeeze with a big grin.

"How'd I get so lucky to have you for a girlfriend?"

"I don't know, but you better not forget it." Kim's had a mischievous glint, making the violet sparkle.

"C'mon, let's get the check and get out of here."

* * *

It had started raining while they were enjoying dinner but since Ben had brought an umbrella they still wanted to walk; it was pretty romantic sharing the umbrella. The streets were pretty deserted now, the few cars on the road driving by on their own errands, making an occasional splash as they encounter a puddle. Ben and Kim were alone on the sidewalk until they got closer to the officer's housing. They saw another couple under an umbrella at that point and Ben was pretty sure it was the Skipper's black mop-top he saw while Kim was sure that the woman was dressed just as Capt. Hayes was after work. The younger couple turned to each with a smile; the night had finally gotten better for their friends and superiors.

"Normally I would want to try and catch up and say 'Hi' if that's really them, but I don't think they need us butting in." Ben announced sagely.

"I agree. They're finally talking to each other. I hardly think they need us ruining the moment."

A few minutes later and they are standing in front of Kim's apartment, sitting between those of Vanessa and Sammy, who seemed asleep already. The way housing was currently in New Macross, the Trio couldn't share a house, since the bigger houses were reserved for families with children, but they could all be next to each other.

"Brrr, there's starting to be a chill in air Ben, did you want to stay for some coffee? Maybe I'll make you breakfast too." That mischievous glint was back in Kim's eyes, "I don't have to be back at work until the late shift tomorrow."

"Well, well…I believe my next patrol isn't until the day after. I think I just might take you up on that offer Ms. Young." said Ben with an equally mischievous tone. _I really hope I'm still here for breakfast too._

* * *

Author's notes: Sorry for the delay getting this chapter up, but the end of the semester is upon me.

(1) Events in the episode _A Rainy Night_ from the POV of Ben and Kim

(2) The whole premise of this AU is that Ben didn't die in _Breaking Point. _

Chapter title is lyrics from _Have You Ever Seen the Rain_ by Creedence Clearwater Revival


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 15 – You, amid the raging foes, were our sheltering tower.**

Kim was good on her word about making breakfast and Ben was amazed at what she put on the table. Bacon, eggs, waffles from scratch; it was as good a spread as his Dad would put out for Sunday brunch, maybe even better. They talked more about their commanding officers and how it seemed Rick and Lisa were finally moving forward in that relationship. They also talked more about their own relationship too. All in all it was good to have a lazy morning together. Unfortunately, it was soon time for Kim to get ready for work, so Ben gave her a kiss and headed to his own place. He had wanted to walk her to the ship, but there was no fresh change of clothes with him at her apartment. _Poor planning on your part Dixon, _he groused to himself.

Since his next patrol wasn't scheduled until the following morning, Ben thought it was a good idea to get caught up on cleaning. His apartment was by no means messy but it could quickly get messy if he didn't keep up with the chores. That had been ingrained in him from his grandparents (1): chores first, fun second. That rule was even more important with his schedule as a pilot. Ben never knew where a patrol would take him or sometimes for how long it would last. There was a schedule of patrols, but you never knew if things would be routine or if there would be an emergency while you were in the air. So Ben always made sure to take care of the mundane stuff whenever he was home. It was getting close to Christmas and Hanukkah and Ben had no idea what to get for Kim. It was probably going to be something simple. Jewelry was probably out this year, partly because of him making ends meet on a Lieutenant's pay and partly because he wanted the next piece of jewelry he gave her to be an engagement ring. Luckily he still had a few weeks to worry about it.

Ben had just sat down for a break after finishing the laundry; that was the last thing he had to take care of today, so now he could think about dinner. It had been a long day for cleaning so something simple and quick like a salad seemed the best option. He had just started gathering the fixings out of the fridge when the phone rang. _Who'd be calling me at this time of the day? Hope it isn't an emergency._

"Good Evening, Lt. Dixon speaking."

"Ben, it's Kim! I just heard some awesome news and it couldn't wait! I had to call you while I was on break!" came the excited, rapid fire response through the receiver.

"Whoa, slow down! What happened? There's not an emergency at the base, is there?"

"No, no, nothing like that! Remember how we saw Capt. Hayes and Capt. Hunter walking in the rain last night?"

"Yeah…what about it?"

"Well, Capt. Hunter called into flight control at the end of his patrol today and asked Capt. Hayes out on a date! Oh my god! Can you believe that?"

"Wow! That is some awesome news. And I'm sure you heard Capt. Hayes give Capt. Hunter an answer. No wonder the Trio has a reputation when it comes to news, you're always right there when things happen."

"Har, har Ben." Kim's tone was dripping with sarcasm, "We just believe that news should be shared, even if it isn't exactly our own news." Ben knew she would be sticking her tongue out at him after that last comment.

"OK, calm down. I don't suppose you heard if they had decided on the time and activity for their date did you?"

"It just so happens that Capt. Hayes and Capt. Hunter decided to go on a picnic this Saturday."

"Well done, my little detective."

"Thank you. OK, I gotta go. Break time is over. Love you, and I'll call you if I hear anything else."

"OK Kim. Love, you. Talk to you later."

That had to be some of the best news Ben had heard for a while. The way the Skipper always looks at Capt. Hayes he had to be in love with her. It was about time Rick admitted it, especially to himself. Ben had to hand it to the Skipper; a picnic would actually be a very romantic date. Come to think of it, the boss was putting him to shame. Ben didn't remember the last time he had taken Kim out on a date that wasn't dinner after work. _Hmm…maybe that would be a good gift for Kim, take her on a special date. _Even if he didn't know it this time, the Skipper always did have some good ideas for Ben.

* * *

Since the Skipper had Saturday off for his date, Ben, Miriya and Max were covering patrol duties. Ben's Mom agreed to watch little Dana today, so it would be a rare chance for the three of them to fly together without it being an emergency. They also had the luck of it being an uneventful patrol, so there was a chance to chat a bit on the plane-to-plane. By that time the Sterlings had also heard about the Skipper's date and they were both pleased the Captains were finally together. Miriya commented on how happy Lisa appeared to be the last few days and Max and Ben knew that Rick was just as happy. The three of them felt very happy for the Skipper as they prepared to turn for home. Max, who was leading their flight, thought he heard about a disturbance in Monument City over the TACNET, but flight control said Green squadron had responded and did not need aid.

After landing and showering, Ben rode with Max and Miriya as they went to the Dixon house to pick up Dana. As they went through town, Ben thought he saw a woman that looked a lot like Capt. Hayes sitting at a table of a café. He shook his head and said nothing; it couldn't have been Lisa since she was on a date with the Skipper. Before long, they arrived and made their way into the house.

"Ah, there you are." chimed Mrs. Dixon. "I was wondering if you got called up to that business in Monument City."

"Nope, Green squadron got to deal with that one."

"That is surprising. I thought the news report said your Capt. Hunter was involved, commandeering a Destroid to help the responding pilots."

"How could he have been involved? He had the day off and was on a date with Capt. Hayes."

"Uh-oh," Ben had a bad feeling about the situation, "On our way over here, I thought I saw Capt. Hayes sitting alone at a café. I gotta wonder if the Skipper pulled another bone-head move and stood up Lisa. I didn't say anything before, because I assumed her and Rick were on their date."

"I suppose I shall need to have some girl talking with Capt. Hayes tomorrow and see if I can find the truth." said Miriya with a concerned tone. "But right now, how was our darling daughter for you?"

"She was a peach today. She played nice and ate all her lunch and is taking a nap right now."

"I hate to wake her, but it's probably better to get her up for dinner now. That way she won't be so awake later to try and stay up all night."

"I understand completely. It's amazing how such a little girl has so much energy. Did you and your daughter want to stay here for dinner? It won't take but a moment to whip something up."

"Of course Mom," chimed in Max.

"Good. I get some extra time with that grandbaby now. "

* * *

The next day at the base, Ben heard Miriya screaming at Capt. Hunter (2) and could only assume she had gotten a chance to talk with Capt. Hayes. Ben got a chance to talk with Kim a little later and found out that Rick did indeed stand up Lisa, and with Minmei to boot! "Oivay" was the only thing Ben could say. That was not just any bonehead move by the Skipper … that was the ultimate bonehead move. Needless to say, things were a bit tense around the base for the whole following week. Things got so bad that Capt. Hayes began making sure she was not working the same shifts as Capt. Hunter. Ben felt bad for Capt. Hayes but felt no sympathy toward the Skipper: It was his own fault.

Since he was still a bachelor, Ben drew the short stick on a two day patrol starting today, the morning of Christmas Eve. He could understand why it was important for those pilots with children to be home with their families tonight but it still made things hard for getting together with Kim. _Hanukkah is late this year, so there's still that too,_ thought a melancholy Ben. After clearance from flight control, he and his wingmen flashed into the sky and Anvil flight headed south toward the Baja peninsula for the first leg of the patrol. It was going to be a long flight, but at least it was going to be through warmer climes.

The first leg wound up being uneventful and Ben's flight reached the turn point late in the afternoon. At the tip of Baja, they turned directly east and headed toward the Florida Keys. Key West and a few of the others survived Dolza's bombardment; it was those islands closer to Miami that took the brunt of Dolza's attack. This second leg was going to be trickier than the first and would be done on instruments; it was going to be dark before they got over the waters of the Gulf of Mexico and they would still be heading east when the sun came up in the morning. If there were no surprises, then the next turn point would be reached just after sunrise.

Control called in a vector to an unidentified contact around midnight, but it turned out to be a private aircraft. _Better safe than sorry, I guess._ Ben mused. At least it broke up the monotony. The most dangerous flight was one at night over water with no moon shining so any excuse to stay alert was welcome. The rest of the night passed surprisingly quickly and Ben began to see a sliver of dawn ahead of their patrol. As the sun rose halfway over the horizon, Ben could make out The Keys and Cuba, meaning they were almost at the turn point. Fifteen minutes later and Anvil flight was winging north, hugging what had been the eastern seaboard of the United States.

There were a few settlements rebuilding, but this area had taken a severe beating two years ago because of the large population centers and the large number of military bases in that part of the country. There were some sectors where the radiation levels were still too dangerous for habitation and scientists weren't sure when they would ever be safe. Ben always thought it was such a waste; there could have been peace if Breetai had been Supreme Commander. Just past noon, as their patrol reached where New York City had been, a crackle over the TACNET brought Ben out of his thoughts.

"Attention all Veritechs! New Macross City is under attack, repeat, New Macross City is under attack. All available fighters please respond!"

"Control, this is Anvil flight. We are changing heading to respond. Repeat, the cavalry is coming!"

"OK boys, afterburners to Stage 5…full emergency power! Push it to Mach 3."

The navigation computer calculated a near suborbital flight path would shave more time off the trip back to New Macross City and their home base. Ben was crossing his fingers that they would arrive in time to thwart the attackers but Anvil flight might arrive too late if it was just a quick raid. After an interminable number of minutes, Ben began to hear the battle chatter over the plane-to-plane channel.

"Control, this is Skull 3 leading Anvil patrol flight. We have arrived in your sector. Give us a vector to the skunks."

"Roger Skull 3. The attackers are concentrated in the Industrial section of Sector One. Reports coming in from warehouse workers indicate the raiders are searching for something. Skull 2 and Skull 4 on the scene and engaged with the enemy and Skull 1 is preparing to lift off. Suggest your flight join up with Skull 1"

"Roger Control. Skull 3 out."

Ben calls out on the plane-to-plane "Hey Skipper, any idea what these jokers are after?"

"No idea Ben. Admiral Gloval is speculating they're looking for protoculture. I'm airborne and will be on heading one four two point seven."

"Roger Skipper. I have visual of you. Forming up in twenty seconds."

Anvil flight gradually eased into formation with Skull 1 and the four planes headed toward where Max, Miriya and the rest of Skull squadron were battling the renegade Zentraedi warriors. The explosion of a Veritech a few hundred meters in front of Skull 1 made Ben take notice of one particular giant with a smoking blaster rifle, one with purple skin and blue hair. Khyron. Ben let out a curse. He was beginning to regret not taking a kill shot when he had the chance, but Ben also knew the orders then were "capture alive". Besides, he was not a cold blooded murderer. (3) Before Ben could make a move towards Khyron, an order came over the TACNET trying to organize a defense around the protoculture warehouse.

Good idea, but tough to execute as Rick, Ben and their wingmen were on the other side of the compound. It was going to be a tough slog through the renegade forces to get in a position to protect the protoculture. "I'll take the low road, boss" Ben tells the Skipper as he dives down and transforms his Veritech. By the time he reaches the ground, his ship is already in Battloid mode and Ben is running and blasting away at the battle pods of the raiding force as Rick stays high and draws their fire. It was up to them to get to that warehouse; Max and Miriya were being kept busy by Azonia and the Quadronos loyal to Khyron. The defenders were getting a little luck as Ben caught site of Khyron again, but he seemed to be hooking something up to his command pod. Were the Skulls too late? The answer to that question came thundering out of the sky moments later: a Zentraedi cargo shuttle landed in the industrial section.

At Khyron's signal, all the pods disengaged from combat and retreated to the shuttle. Whatever Khyron was carrying with his command pod was obviously the objective. As the renegades made their escape, Khyron broadcast a message on the RDF frequencies. "Attention Micronians. This is Khyron the Destroyer. I want to wish all the people of Earth a Merry Christmas and I send you a special greeting from Santa Claus. May all your foolish holidays be as bright as this one." Seconds after his message ends dozens of explosions go off throughout Sector One. The urge to chase after that cargo shuttle is strong, but Capt. Hunter makes the tough decision that the RDF forces need to stay and help extinguish all the fires that are now raging in the city. Ben takes one last shot at the fleeing craft before reluctantly joining in the aid effort.

Capt. Hunter tasks half the squadron to go back to base and have fire retardant bombs loaded; the battle has left the streets difficult to pass and civilian rescuers and firefighters were having a hard time reaching victims. The rest he orders in Battloid mode to help rescue survivors. Ben is among the first group to rearm and after a hot swap (4) out he is back in the air and targeting the biggest of the fires. Hovering in Guardian mode, Ben and the other pilots are able to pinpoint target the worst of the blazes, dropping the retardant to smother the fires. For several trips, the pilots tasked with firefighting drop their loads and return to base for another hot rearm (4), continuing to drop the retardant until the hottest blazes have been extinguished and the civilian firefighters can get in and start soaking the embers. Once the fires are under control, Ben and the rest join Capt. Hunter's group on the ground, looking for survivors.

Those in Battloid mode began by trying to clear blocked roads in order to let rescue apparatus through. They next worked on freeing people trapped in the rubble. Ben had to lift up a car that had been flipped onto a man who miraculously hadn't been crushed. He was able to raise it enough for the trapped warehouse worker to crawl out. That was close to the extreme of what was needed; a lot of the rescues involved just escorting or carrying dazed people to safety. It was well after sunset before the weary pilots could fully turn over the rescue operations to civilian authorities. When they returned to base for the final time that evening, there was little left for them to do besides go home to their loved ones.

* * *

After changing into his civvies, Ben tries to catch up with Kim. She had to have been at her station in flight control for the duration of the emergency. As he's trotting over toward the SDF-2, Ben notices Capt. Hunter talking to Capt. Hayes by the water's edge at the SDF-1 and unfortunately, neither officer looked very happy. _I wonder if Kim has heard anything new about those two._ Ben wouldn't find out until he actually saw Kim, so he increased his pace and headed towards the flight control bridge. As he neared the other ship, it lightened his heart to see tens of thousands of Christmas lights come alive on the SDF-1; even as a derelict it could still be an inspiration for civilian morale.

Kim was still on the SDF-2 and, as Ben surmised, had just gotten relieved after being at her post all day. They gave each other weary hugs and made their way to Ben's parent's house, talking along the way. Ben mentioned Lisa and Rick and Kim said that she had heard a rumor that Capt. Hayes had gotten drunk last night because she had gone to Capt. Hunter's house to surprise him and had found Minmei there instead, although it didn't sound like Capt. Hayes had actually gone into Rick's house but only seen through a window or heard through the door. Kim wasn't going to be spreading this news around; there wasn't enough corroborating evidence to know if it were true and Capt. Hayes herself looked stone sober and without a hangover this morning. Apparently the Trio never gossiped, they only relayed news, regardless if the object of the news wanted that information spread or not.

The walk to the Dixon household helped clear their minds of the day's horrid events and Ben and Kim were in better spirits when they arrived. Mrs. Dixon greeted them at the door and gave them both huge hugs, glad that they are both here and that they are both safe after the troubles earlier.

"Welcome, Welcome. Hope you're hungry, because we have plenty of latkes and sufganiot. Since we didn't know how long you two would be dealing the all the chaos, your father and I started with the blessings already." Mrs. Dixon said sadly while pointing at the menorah. Kim saw that only eight of the nine candles in the holder were lit and asked Ben why the last one hadn't been lit yet.

"It's only the seventh day of Hanukkah sweetie. The final candle won't be lit until tomorrow night."

"Ben, we still need to bless the challah." Mrs. Dixon interrupted, "Would you do the honors?"

"Certainly, Mom." Ben quickly agrees and begins to chant in Hebrew, "Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheynu Melech ha-olam, ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz."

Although she never knew the Dixons were Jewish, Kim was still puzzled to also see a Christmas tree in the living room. She asked Ben about the apparent contradiction but it was Mr. Dixon who answered.

"I'm Lutheran actually. After Lois and I married we made a decision that any children we had would be exposed to both faiths and their traditions. So that is why we celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. Although Hanukkah usually isn't this late; more often it falls in early December. It comes from having the Hebrew calendar being mostly a lunar cycle calendar."

"You know Dad, one of these years we should invite Max, Miriya and Dana over to celebrate with us. I think it would do him some good and it would let Miriya see a different side of him. And I really want to teach little Dana how to play the Dreidel game."

"I think that would be an outstanding idea Ben. Poor Max was so adrift after his parents died. I don't think he has celebrated Hanukkah since they passed but it wouldn't surprise me to learn that getting married and starting a family has renewed his faith."

"I hope so Dad." said Ben solemnly raising his glass of wine, "A toast to the health of Max and his family."

"Cheers" said the rest of the group.

* * *

Author's notes: I had originally wanted this Chapter just to be set during the episode _Season's Greetings _but I realized I also need to incorporate elements from _Private Time _to get this chapter to flow logically from the last chapter.

(1) More details from _Bloom of Hope._ (Yet another shameless plug.)

(2) As suggested by dwparsnip's Robotech Drabble #97 _Donkey._

(3) Refer to Chapter 13 of this fic.

(4) Hot swap and hot rearm: This indicates the Veritech still has it's engines running as the ground crew loads the fire retardant bombs, so it can immediately take off when the ground crew is finished.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Ma'Oz Tzur (Rock of Ages) _a traditional Hanukkah song.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 16 – I looked 'round, and I knew there was no turning back**

Once again, New Macross City was picking up after a Zentraedi attack. The people here are old pros at it, having had to constantly rebuild while the city was nestled in the cavernous confines of the SDF-1 what seemed like decades ago, but in reality was only three years ago. Ben still felt guilty over this last attack, since he had failed to capture Khyron during Operation Cry Wolf (1) and talked about it with the Skipper in the CAG's office. Ben really thought that things would have been better if he had been trying to kill Khyron that day instead of following the orders to capture him. Rick put a hand on Ben's shoulder and told him that neither of them were the kind of man to just take a life in cold blood. It was one thing to kill during a battle; at least then you are attempting to defend yourself and quite another to methodically take aim at an unawares victim. The talk didn't help Ben as much as he would have hoped, but it at least gave him some perspective and context for processing his feelings about it.

The events of Christmas Day gave Ben perspective on another part of his life. No more excuses, no more waiting for "just the right time", he was going to make sure Kim was always a part of his life. Stopping by his parent's house before he has to report for work, Ben lets his Mom know that he and Kim were going to have a special dinner tonight and hopefully tomorrow there would be a wedding to plan. Mrs. Dixon practically crushed Ben's ribs when she hugged him. "It's about time my dear. Don't you think you've left Ms. Young hanging a little too long on this?"

"I don't think I would have agreed with you a couple of weeks ago Ma, but after what went down last week my thoughts on the subject have changed a whole lot." _And hopefully Kim's have too._

"Well you go get her tiger! I'm surprised she's waited this long for you to pop the question."

* * *

Kim was sitting in the officer's break room of the SDF-2 before her shift began, thinking about the information she received from the doctor this morning. She was glad that Ben was taking her out for a special dinner tonight because she had to share the news with him. Kim was relieved they had talked a few weeks ago about the desire for children, because that desire was going to become reality in about seven, maybe seven and a half months. She herself was overjoyed at the pregnancy but was unsure how Ben would react; she was sure he was hoping to have the wedding first but she was hoping just as much that he too would be overjoyed. Kim was pretty certain he was a little jealous of Max and Miriya with Dana. Kim eventually realized that although the timing of things might shock Ben a little, he would be flying high after the news.

Vanessa and Sammy came in a few minutes later. She motioned them over and hesitantly lets them in on her news. Kim first had to make them swear on a stack of Bibles that they would not repeat anything she told them, at least not until after she had told Ben tonight. That left her two friends more eager and curious than ever, until Vanessa figured it out on her own.

"What is up with the level of secrecy on this Kim?" puzzled Vanessa, "This must be some extraordinary news indeed if you're asking us to sit on it until tomorrow. I mean really, you'd think you were going to be telling Ben you were….Oh! My! God! ... You are, aren't you!" She sees Kim start to blush strongly and knows it is true.

"Kim's what?" called Sammy from over by the coffee pot. "What the heck is this news she's got?"

"SHHH!" hissed Kim in an exasperated tone, "Get over here! If I wanted everyone to know I'd have broadcast it on the intercom."

"Holy cow Kim, you're acting so weird, like you were pregnant or something."

The sound of Kim's palm slapping her forehead could be heard throughout the break room as Kim felt like she had shrunk down to a height of five inches from embarrassment.

"What did I say?" said a puzzled Sammy.

"The 'P' word Sammy. Apparently we've each been able to guess the news ourselves."

Sammy looks back and forth between her two friends in confusion before staring long and hard at Kim and exploding with excitement, "REALLY?! WOOHOO!"

"That was a bit of punctuation there Lt. Porter." a commanding but melancholy voice interjected, "I could use a bit of good news, if you know what I mean."

The Trio jumped up and snapped to attention at hearing Capt. Hayes. "At ease girls, we're not on the clock yet." Lisa said with a wry smile.

"Sorry to disappoint you captain, but you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear." Vanessa explained.

'Yeah … Kim's gotta tell Ben first, then we can let everyone else know." said Sammy, trying to be helpful. Kim just began rubbing the bridge of her nose and groaning in embarrassment. _With friends like these …_

"Hmm," Lisa says with a sad smile, "I guess congratulations are in order then Lt. Young. I hope you have a wonderful evening tonight with Lt. Dixon." She then turns and walks out onto the observation deck. _Don't be jealous of Kim just because she gets to have a baby. Maybe it will be easier to find someone for myself once I've left the service._

A few moments later, Cmdr. Grant comes in looking for Lisa, "I have to find her. Admiral Gloval wants to see her right away." (2) The Trio let's her know Capt. Hayes went out to the observation deck.

"C'mon you two," says Kim in an annoyed tone, "Time for us to head to the bridge. It's almost time for our shift to start."

* * *

After leaving his parent's house, Ben swung by the shopping district and to the jewelry store he preferred; he always seemed to get the best deals at this shop. He had to get it a little sooner than he originally planned, but Ben was not going another step this morning without having the engagement ring for Kim firmly in hand for tonight. Luckily he had started saving up for it early too, considering he was working with a lieutenant's pay. The ring was a 1 karat marquis cut diamond flanked by four amethysts to match Kim's eyes. He hoped she would like the ring. Heck, Ben just hoped she said "Yes" tonight. Ben finished paying the jeweler and then hustled off to the base. It was almost time to report for duty.

Ben was not actually scheduled for an active patrol today but he was on standby. If an emergency arose, he'd be right there and ready to go and help. He had paperwork to catch up and it didn't matter which uniform he had to wear for that, so Ben was ready in his flight suit before he sat down at his desk. It would only take moments to grab his helmet and dash toward his Veritech if ordered to scramble. It took no time for Ben to finish up the mission reports that were still hanging and that left him the rest of the day to start reviewing personnel files. It was time to evaluate his subordinates for possible promotions. _Hmm. Marks has been doing really well the past few months. I can't really blame him or Johnson for losing Khyron in the dark either. I'm thinking I can recommend him for a promotion. _Capt. Hunter would have a say in the recommendation as well, and the top brass would have the final say, but they had almost never disregarded a recommendation.

The ringing of the phone broke Ben's concentration. _Now what?_ "Skull squadron, Lt. Dixon speaking."

"Ben, it's Kim. You won't believe the news we just heard."

"Must be pretty juicy if you're calling me at work."

"Fresh out of the oven fly-boy," Kim said with a twinkle, "Capt. Hayes has just been given command of the SDF-2! She'll be in charge when it launches tomorrow!"

"Whoa. How did Capt. Hunter react to that news?"

"I don't know. Capt. Hayes was going over to his house to tell him this afternoon once she got her things packed and moved over to the ship."

"That could get awkward, especially since the Skipper is not assigned to the SDF-2. Oivay. I might have an idea how things go depending on how mopey the boss is tomorrow."

"Well, keep me posted baby. Love you!"

Ben slowly hung up the phone. It was going to be tough getting back to the evaluations now. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands as he thought about the Skipper. It seemed sad that he wouldn't have a chance to straighten things out with Capt. Hayes now, but it was his own fault. Looking at the clock, Ben noticed it was time for a lunch break anyway. A quick sandwich should get his mind settled enough to get back to work on those evaluations. _Should be plenty of time to run to the mess hall._ Ben thought to himself, his mind still unsettled by the latest turn of events.

* * *

On the walk over to the mess hall, Ben heard a thumping noise in the distance, coming from the direction of the officer's quarters. That sounded like ordinance being dropped and it didn't seem right to him at all. Ben knew that there were no live fire exercises occurring today and the target range was fifty miles away in the opposite direction anyway. _What the heck is happening over there?_

In answer to his question, the General Quarters klaxon began sounding and Lt. Porter made a system wide page "Attention all Veritech pilots! Man your planes. New Macross City is under attack. This is not a drill, repeat, this is not a drill!" The evaluations were unimportant now. "So much for lunch," Ben said ruefully as he spun around and dashed back to the office for his helmet.

Ben reached the flight line and his Veritech faster than even he would have expected. _Nothing like a full alert to get the adrenaline pumping._ He glanced across the hardstand as he climbed into the cockpit and saw Max and Miriya reach their craft. Ben strapped in as the Plexiglas canopy lowered to seal his ship up, flipping the switches for the start-up sequence from long practice and memory. The pitch of the engines gradually increased as they spun up to full power. Indicator lights on the HUD showed a full load of missiles on the wing hard points and a full load of armor piercing rounds. Finishing his cockpit checks, Ben glances up to see that Max and Miriya have already begun taxiing for take-off. As he slowly pushes the throttles forward, Ben sees Rick running to the locker area, his uniform rumpled and soot covered, but otherwise no worse for the wear. He taxis forward himself, hoping his friend and commanding officer will be airborne quickly.

Ben reaches the runway and is quickly given clearance for take-off. Slamming the throttles all the way forward, the Veritech speeds down the tarmac at full afterburner, soon reaching proper airspeed for lift off. Ben yanks back the stick and the plane shoots almost perfectly vertical into sky in search of the enemy.

"Attention all Veritechs. We have contact with the intruder. 10 degrees Southwest. Range 30 miles and closing rapidly"

Ben hears Max over the TACNET "Roger control, Skull squadron responding."

"Lead the way little brother," Ben chimes over the plane-to-plane channel. "The Skipper should be airborne soon. I saw him running to get his flight suit when I was taxiing."

"That's good Ben. We're gonna need every pilot for this one."

Ben levels out Skull 3 and sets an intercept course toward the enemy. He catches up with Max and Miriya and falls into formation as a wingman for Max. They soon spot the bogey. It's a lone Zentraedi battle cruiser, one of the smaller ones too, but it would still pack a punch and was still being protected by a cloud of tri-fighters and power suits. "Damn." came Max's voice over the TACNET, followed by what sounded like a Zentraedi curse.

"What's wrong buddy?"

"Miriya said those were Quandranos in those power suits."

"Damn." was Ben's only reaction. He knew why the others were cursing. The only Quadranos still on Earth were those loyal to Khyron. "Let's see what we can do Max. I'm really starting to get sick of this purple skinned joker. Hey Miriya, what are the weak points of that class of cruiser?"

"We are best off trying to disable its engines Benjamin. I do not believe we will have a clear shot at the command deck of this particular craft."

"Just paint the target and we'll nail it. Getting through those several dozen enemy fighters will be the easy part."

The Skulls who were airborne dove straight for Khyron's ship, blasting enemy mecha as they zoomed by. Ben was trying to line up a shot at a weak hull point, but the enemy fighter craft were making targeting difficult. It was a desperate battle, with Ben attempting some the same tricks that had worked in the past, skimming down the length of the hull, blasting laser cannon turrets, then pulling up to shoot at enemy mecha that were in range. The defenders were desperate to find a weakness to exploit on that cruiser.

Without warning, the front half of the battle cruiser began to split open, the edges beginning to crackle with energy. "FALL BACK SKULLS!" screamed Miriya, "Khyron is preparing to fire his main gun. Our fighters will be fried in the energy blast if we are not away from his ship." Feeling helpless, Ben and the rest of Skull squadron move out of range of Khyron's weapon, wishing for a way to stop the attack. One Veritech tried a missile salvo, but the building energy of the cruiser's weapon acted like a shield. The enemy fighters were still on the attack as well, leaving no breathing room for the beleaguered Skulls.

A roar erupted through the Plexiglas of Ben's cockpit and a flash of light would have blinded him if not for the auto polarizing glare shield of his helmet. Khyron fired his first shot and it was a direct hit on the SDF-2. "We've lost communications with SDF-2."

"SDF-2, do you read me? Lisa! Captain Hayes!" came the Skipper's anguished voice over the TACNET, "Lisa, it's Rick! Answer me!"

* * *

On the bridge of the damaged battle fortress, Kim picks herself up off the floor and then helps Sammy up. She felt OK, only rattled, and Sammy seemed uninjured as well. The two of them made their way up to the Captain's command deck to check on Vanessa and Captain Hayes as the automated fire suppression sprinklers began to spray water everywhere. "Are you alright Captain? What about you Vanessa?" asks Sammy as soon as the pair reach the command deck.

"We're fine girls,' Lisa answers, "But we're getting a lot of damage reports coming in."

"Our controls were shattered by that hit Captain," Kim reported, "We have no weapons, helm or thrusters"

"It's looking like we'll need to abandon ship Sir," Vanessa told Capt. Hayes.

"Sound 'Abandon Ship' then Vanessa," said Lisa, making a quick decision,"It's the only way to save the crew."

"I wish there was some way to fight back," Sammy said in an angry voice, "I'd even try flying a Veritech if I thought it would help."

"The only thing that could have stopped that enemy cruiser was the main gun," said Kim with a defeated tone, "and there's no way for us to fire it now. If only Admiral Gloval was here. He would know what to do."

The four women look at each other. "Admiral Gloval!" screams Lisa, "That's it! Follow me girls!" Capt Hayes rushes out of the mortally wounded ship and starts running toward the SDF-1, the Trio in tow.

* * *

Facing the loss of the now sinking SDF-2, Skull squadron renews its attack with a greater ferocity, now lead by Skull 1. _There has to be a way to knock this thing out, or at least down,_ pondered Ben. He methodically blasts a group of tri-fighters in cover for the Skipper. Rick had taken Skull 1 to the surface of Khyron's cruiser and was in Battloid mode, blasting anything moving. Ben could almost hear the rage in Rick's voice as he wiped out every battle pod and power suit that came within sight of Skull 1. Knowing that Kim was on the SDF-2 with Capt. Hayes, Ben shared his commander's rage, but until he heard word of casualties from that ship he had to remain in control. Flying out of control emotionally was as bad as losing physical control of the plane. Ben took one more glance at the now sinking battle fortress, to try and gauge damage, and saw a surprising sight. The SDF-1, long thought to be a derelict hulk, was rising out of Lake Gloval.

"Max! Skipper! Do you see what I'm seeing?"

"Holy Cow big brother, I didn't think that thing could still move." Max says in disbelief.

"Rick! Rick Hunter! Is that you?" comes crackling over the TACNET.

"Lisa? I must be hearing things!" Capt Hunter sounds back.

"No you're not. I'm aboard the SDF-1 Rick. We're preparing to fire the main gun, so I strongly suggest you get out of there."

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Rick tells his fellow captain. To his squadron: "OK Skulls, you heard the lady, let's clear out so they can take their shot."

Every Veritech once again flies away from Khyron's cruiser, desperately trying to be out of the kill zone of the large weapon. Suddenly a flash of light shoots out from the old ship and intersects with the renegade cruiser, mortally damaging it. Its energy spent, it slowly falls back toward the lake. But Khyron is not yet defeated; he is able to set his cruiser on a collision course with the now helpless SDF-1. Ben sees it and begins to worry. He has not heard her voice during this whole battle, but he knows deep down that Kim followed Capt. Hayes to the SDF-1. _Think Dixon, think! There has to be some way to stop that ship. Or at least deflect it._ A plan forms in Ben's mind and a grim expression sets his face as he begins a full afterburner power climb to gain as much altitude as possible. _It will be a long shot, but I think I can deflect it._

* * *

On the bridge of the SDF-1, Vanessa calls out that Khyron's cruiser has not changed course, it is still heading toward them.

"You ladies must get off this ship now," orders Admiral Gloval, "Quickly, to the escape pods. Lisa, get in this first one, hurry!"

"I can't Admiral. Kim should take this one because she's…"

"No Lisa!" Kim interrupts fiercely, "The Admiral is right. You need to take this first one! You're the most important of all of us! Just tell Ben I love him, OK"

"No arguing! Go!" Gloval practically yells at Capt. Hayes as he forcibly shoves her into the pod and hits the activation button. _Godspeed Lisa_ he says in silent prayer. "Let us hope some of these other pods are still functioning." he says to the remaining crew. Kim cries and prays as she hears the motors of Lisa's pod eject it from the falling ship, her friends and comrades gathering around her.

* * *

Capt. Hunter notices that Ben's Veritech is rapidly climbing and tries contacting his subordinate, "Skull 3, come in. What the heck are you doing Ben?"

"I've got an idea on how to deflect that cruiser Skipper, but it's a little crazy."

"How crazy Ben?"

"I'm going to try hitting Mach 3.5 by doing a power dive. If I ram him at that speed I should be able to knock him off his trajectory. That cruiser is too damaged to change course back if I can do it and I should be able to eject before impact."

"Are you insane Ben? That's suicide!"

"C'mon Skipper, nothing goes wrong when I'm around"

"Don't be stupid Ben! There has to be another way!"

"It's the only way to save her Skipper." Ben says with a grim tone as he prepares to nose over for the dive. It only takes Rick a moment to realize who he means. His guess is confirmed when Ben speaks again. "Please tell Kim I love her." He then noses over and begins a dive with full afterburners.

The trapped crew on the bridge of the SDF-1 has been listening to this exchange on the TACNET. Kim slowly realizes what Ben is planning "No … no….NO! NO BEN! DON'T DO IT!" She is now screaming hysterically. Claudia has to come over and grip Kim's shoulders trying to get her back in control.

Ben is concentrating hard through the dive on making sure hit hits Khyron's cruiser near the front half of the craft, almost near the nose and coming in from the cruiser's right. That should give maximum force and torque for the deflection. 'Rick, you guys have to keep those pods off me! I need a clear shot at this, since we'll only have one chance!"

On Khyron's cruiser, prepared for their final sacrifice, Azonia notices the radar track of Ben's Veritech. "Khyron my love, one of those Micronian fighters looks to be on a collision course with us."

"Hah! One of their puny ships can't destroy my mighty vessel."

"Maybe not my Lord, but I calculate its rate of speed is sufficient to knock us off course if he succeeds in colliding with us."

"No! Curse these Micronians!"

Ben is closing rapidly with the cruiser now, holding tight to the course needed for success. _Sorry I never gave you grandchildren._ Ben muses, S_trange what you think of when you're seconds away from a possible violent death._ His ship is almost at the point of no return; there is now no doubt it will collide with the cruiser, so Ben reaches for the eject handle. Nothing happens. _Crap, it's stuck._

"Ben! Eject! Eject! Do you copy?" screams a frantic Rick

"NOOOOOO!" screams a despairing Kim on the SDF-1.

"It's too late Rick! I can't …. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

There is a sickening crunch of metal and a blinding flash of light.

* * *

Author's notes: Yes, I dare end this chapter on a cliffhanger, because there is symmetry with how I started this whole thing. (But no, this was not the final chapter.)

(1) See Chapter 13.

(2) In the episode _To the Stars_

Chapter title is lyrics from _Thunderstruck_ by ACDC.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

* * *

**Chapter 17 – You just might find, you get what you need**

_Floating. Swaying and floating. A breeze is blowing. So peaceful, just floating. Mmm…must be heaven. Only heaven would be so peaceful. I must be in heaven, floating as an angel. I wonder if heaven looks like what all the ministers say it does. Wonder why I can't see it? Maybe I'm not there yet. How long after you die before you get to heaven? It won't hurt to take a peek, would it? Just one peek? Sure, God won't mind._

Ben slowly opens his eyes and sees…death and chaos, three burning hulks in the lake, a lake that is still far below him, and many emergency vehicles converging on the wreckage of what had been the SDF-1. There was no peace. He was not dead. He was floating in his ejection seat. By all rights he should have been dead. He forgot about the two second safety delay at high mach (the seat would blow two seconds after the canopy did) and almost pulled the lever too late. By all rights, even if his seat had punched clear of the Veritech, it shouldn't have been far enough away to not be engulfed if the fireball created by the fighter's crash. His luck pulled his bacon out of another tight spot; he gets to go home even if his Veritech doesn't. Ben just wished he could stop screaming like a little girl whenever the ejection seat punched out: that is really embarrassing for a fighter jock.

As he continues to drift down he begins to notice a throbbing in his left foot. _Can't really see it well, but it seems like that boot has burn marks. Maybe I really was barely out of that fireball in time._ After checking his physical status Ben takes a hard look at the remains of the SDF-1 and notices that most of the damage from Khyron's cruiser was to the Daedalus arm: the cruiser missed the bridge area. He did it! He saved Kim! Ben just wished he had seen it.

_**Ten minutes earlier…**_

Kim heard Ben's crazy plan over the TACNET and lost it. It was bad enough she was going to die, he didn't need to die too. She began to stagger toward the windows of the bridge deck in a daze, screaming at Ben, actually thinking he would hear her screaming. "YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHILD WITHOUT A FATHER!" Cmdr Grant's and Admiral Gloval's heads snap up at that last comment. Claudia looks back at Vanessa and Sammy.

"It's true Cmdr Grant. Kim just found out from the doctor this morning." explained Vanessa.

"That explains why Lisa wanted Kim to take the escape pod." Claudia quickly deduced.

Admiral Gloval begins moving towards his junior officer, but Claudia runs ahead of him. "Let me take care of this, Sir."

Claudia blocks Kim from getting any closer to the windows and grabs the Lieutenant's shoulders, giving her a shake. _I hope I don't have to slap her to snap her out of this._ "Kim. Kim! Listen to me! Ben is doing this to save you. LOOK AT ME! Ben is trying to save your life!" Kim hears Claudia, but is still focused on the TACNET feed.

"Ben! Eject! Eject! Do you copy?" screams a frantic Rick

"It's too late Rick! I can't …. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Kim has a perfect view over Claudia's shoulder. She can see Khyron's cruiser grow larger as it speeds closer. She sees Ben's Veritech flash into view and explode in a fireball into the side over Khyron's cruiser. "NOOOOOO!" screams a despairing Kim, burying her head in Claudia's shoulder. She cannot see his ejection seat make it through the fireball and she is too distraught to notice Khyron's cruiser heel over to the left from the force of the impact.

* * *

Rick Hunter sat in total shock in the cockpit of Skull 1. He just witnessed what seemed to be the death of his friend and comrade in a very brave and incredibly stupid act. He was amazed that the whole gambit worked: Khyron's cruiser was heeling over to the left after Ben's crash. But he was gone. After Rick saw him survive the shield overload in Ontario sector those many years ago, he thought Ben would never die in combat. _I guess even his luck could run out. _

"Hey Skipper!" It was Max. "I saw an ejection seat come shooting out of that fireball. I'll try and locate it to see if Ben is alright." Rick said a silent prayer of thanks at that news. _The guy has more lives than a cat._

"The parachute opened. I see him floating in his ejection seat, but he appears unconscious."

A loud tortured crunch of metal interrupts the conversation. Khyron's cruiser has impacted the Daedalus arm, shearing it off. Rick saw a large chunk of debris spin up and impact the "head" area of the SDF-1; he prayed that none of it hit the bridge deck.

* * *

On the bridge deck, Admiral Gloval sees that although it was deflected, the cruiser will still make contact with the Daedalus arm. "Brace for impact ladies! We are not out of this yet!" Vanessa and Sammy have time to hit the deck after his warning. Kim is still too distraught to do anything but cling stiffly to Claudia, her head still buried in Claudia's shoulder; Claudia is trying to get Kim down to the deck but only succeeds in spinning her away from the Daedalus side of the bridge. Gloval is trying to move toward them to help Claudia get Kim down to the deck. They all hear the sickening crunch as Khyron's cruiser impacts the Daedalus arm, but only the Admiral is witness to the chunk of debris knocked straight towards their perch in the head. _God save us._

The chunk shatters the viewport of the head section, sending shards flying towards the crew. One large shard impacts Gloval in the shoulder, near his neck. None hit Sammy and Vanessa, since they were already on the floor, nor did any hit Kim, who had Claudia between her and the flying daggers of glass. Unfortunately, Claudia is peppered with the brunt of the shards, causing her to gasp and scream out in pain. Claudia's scream causes Kim's head to snap up; she looks into the eyes of her superior officer and sees the life slowly slip out of her. "It's time Roy, I'm coming baby." Kim is horrified into silence seeing Claudia die in her arms. She slowly lowers the body of her friend to the deck and collapses next to her, still in shock. Vanessa looks up and sees the SDF-1 continues to drop down to a final resting place of its own. "Brace yourselves! We're going to hit the lake!"

There's a huge jolt as the massive battle fortress impacts the surface of the lake it had risen out of less than thirty minutes ago, and then slowly sinks until it impacts the bottom. The bridge crew was bounced around and takes a while to regain their footing. Kim looks around in despair at her friends. Sammy is alive but looks dazed, a gash on her forehead bleeding; she might have a concussion. Vanessa is lying on her back moaning and holding her left arm; it appears to be broken. Kim looks down on Claudia's corpse. A particularly large shard was sticking out of her back where her heart was; no wonder she went so quickly. Kim hears a groan behind her. She looks to see the Admiral leaning up against the far bulkhead, blood oozing out from around the shard in his shoulder. Kim herself isn't injured but she is incredibly drained emotionally after this point in the whole ordeal. She doesn't feel steady enough to stand yet but is able to drag herself towards Gloval; her feelings and emotions don't matter right now, just going on doing her duty is what will get her through this.

"Ah, Lt. Young, you must help the others. Do not waste effort on a tough old goat as me. *cough* I can tell this wound is mortal."

"There must be something I can do to slow the bleeding until a rescue crew can reach us?"

"My dear, this is not the first time I have been injured in combat but this is by far the worst wound I have ever received. The shard is too large to remove here; it is the only thing plugging some of the damage. And I fear there would not be enough gauze in any first aid kit you might possibly find here in the wreckage to pack around the wound."

"Please Admiral, let me help. You're too important to die."

"Please Kim, call me Henry. I am close to death, rank means nothing now. This old sailor will be going down with his ship, in the grand naval tradition. *cough* Do not forget that we were able to save your Capt. Hayes. She will make a fine Admiral." Kim can only hold his hand as a tear slides down her cheek. "I must tell you Miss Young, I have considered you and your inseparable friends like nieces and I have watched you all grow into fine bridge officers. It has been an honor to serve as your commanding officer." A coughing fit wracks his body. "Stay strong my dear, your child will need that now more than ever. Ah, Elena, I can finally join you my dear." Kim feels the grip of his hand relax as he slips away. She reaches up to close his eyes then struggles up to go check on Vanessa and Sammy; hopefully they were both well enough to start moving toward the exit.

_**The present…**_

After floating down for what seemed like forever, Ben's ejection seat finally lands on the shore near the lake. He is jolted a bit from the impact, but is able to quickly release the harness belts and slowly stand up. His left boot definitely got burned, but not all the way through, but he still probably got at least 1st degree burns on his foot just from the heat passing through the boot's material. _Not too painful to walk on. I gotta get over to the SDF-1 and look for Kim._ As he begins to hobble over to where rescue vehicles have begun to cluster, Ben sees Skull 1 come down for a landing in Guardian mode nearby. He turns and waits for the Skipper to exit the plane, glad that his friend and commander made it through the battle. However, Ben knows so many other friends did not make it. He sees Rick hop out and run toward him.

Rick comes up to Ben and gives him a bear hug. "I'm really glad you made it buddy, but as I was running up to you I didn't know if I was going to hug you or slug you because of what you did."

"My plan was just simple physics Skipper, but it was scary as all get out to even think about attempting."

"You do realize that your actions were stupid enough that I'll have to put a letter of reprimand in your file" Ben's expression sank at that statement. "Of course you should know that your actions will probably also get you another Titanium Medal of Valor and commendation. I don't know how you do it buddy, but you always come through best when the chips are down." Rick shook Ben's hand then gave him a salute.

Ben returned the salute, but then told his commander, "That's the last thing I'm worried about right now Skipper. We need to look for survivors. We both have people we need to find."

Rick grimaces and lets one word faintly slip out from him gritted teeth. "Lisa"

Ben claps his hand on the Skipper's shoulder, "So you finally admitted it to yourself? Why were you being so stubborn about it Rick? Everyone, and I do mean _everyone_, could see that you were in love with Capt. Hayes and that Capt. Hayes was deeply in love with you!"

"Nobody ever accused me of being smart about women." Rick shot back with a sour look.

"Well what changed boss? Max and I were almost ready to give you a swirly to get you to wake up and smell the romantic coffee here."

"Lisa came to my house just before the attack started. She told me about her promotion to command the SDF-2 and then, even though Minmei was standing right there, Lisa told me she loved me and that she always would. She was convinced she was never going to see me again and couldn't leave without getting that out into the open. I was so shocked I couldn't say or do anything, but I knew right then I loved her too. Minmei stopped me from chasing after Lisa at first, but once Khyron's missiles started landing there was no way I wasn't going after her."

"No wonder you were pissed off when the SDF-2 got hit."

"Yup. I was angry at Khyron, angry at the situation, but mostly angry at myself for being such a stubborn idiot when it came to my feelings about Lisa."

"So you're finally admitting you're stubborn, eh fly-boy?" come a voice behind the two men. They both whirl around to see Capt. Elizabeth Hayes walking toward them, like Lazarus from the dead. Rick runs over to her, grabs her in a passionate embrace and kisses her solidly for the next three minutes. When they finally break for air, Rick asks in confusion, "How are you not dead on that battle fortress?"

"Admiral Gloval literally shoved me into an escape pod. I have no idea if the others were able to eject as well."

"That's why I had started heading towards the wreckage, Sir," said Ben, "I have to see if Kim made it."

"I hope she did Ben. I was originally going to let her take that first escape pod, but she insisted I take it. That's when the Admiral shoved me into it. You see Ben, although I'm sure she wanted to have been the first to tell you, I wanted Kim to take the pod because I knew she was pregnant. I'm guessing she had just found out herself this morning; she was going to tell you tonight when you had dinner together." Ben goes pale and collapses to a sitting position on the ground and says in silent prayer, _Oh God, let her be alive_. He looks up at his two friends and says, "Want to hear something funny? I was going to ask her to marry me tonight at dinner. God has ways of nudging things along I guess." Rick lends a hand to his subordinate, "C'mon pal, let's go look for Kim together. If she's still alive, the rescuers have to have gotten her out to an ambulance by now."

The small party makes their way around and through the debris field surrounding the lake to where dozens of fire apparatus and other rescue vehicles are parked with lights flashing. They can see rescue personnel going in and out of the wreckage of the SDF-1, some carrying stretchers, others guiding ambulatory survivors to the triage area. They each note with sadness the stretchers with covered bodies, not wanting to disturb them unless help was needed with identification. Civilian authorities and MPs were working on controlling the crowd; only rescue workers were going to be allowed near the fallen ship. Rick, Lisa and Ben could at least get close to the triage area. Lisa recognized some of the crewman being treated as being from the engineering department, but none of the three saw any of their friends from the bridge.

As ranking officer on the scene, Lisa tried to at least find out where the rescue parties had gotten to within the huge ship; it was still going to be another fifteen minutes before any searchers reached the bridge deck. Lisa stood next to Rick, his arm around her, and waited for news while Ben paced like a caged animal. He wanted jump over the cordon and run right up to the bridge to help search for Kim. The waiting was killing him. After twenty minutes, a fire battalion chief, the civilian incident commander, motions to Lisa; she goes over and listens to the news he's brought. Ben moves over to see if he can hear what the firefighter is reporting to Capt. Hayes. "…the first of my men that made it to the bridge found three survivors and two casualties."

"Any word on injuries Chief?" Lisa asks him.

"Two of the survivors have serious, but non-life threatening injuries; one a concussion, the other a badly broken arm. Unfortunately, the two casualties were dead at the scene." That statement causes Ben to choke with anguish.

"Were you able to identify the casualties Chief?" Lisa continues.

"The survivor that was most coherent indicated that the female victim was Cmdr Claudia Grant while the male victim was Admiral Henry Gloval."

"Thank you Chief. Thank you for all the information you've been able to share with us."

Lisa turns away from the fire chief and walks toward Rick, tears beginning to well up into her eyes. Rick folds her into his arms for a hug, then backs away and grabs her shoulders. "Lisa, I know how much you must be hurting right now, but if Admiral Gloval is dead that makes YOU the most senior officer left in the whole RDF right now. You have to keep it together to organize the clean-up efforts and help decide what we're going to do about shelter. Khyron's attack took out a large chunk of the officer's housing. There will be a time to grieve for our friends, but that time is not now."

Ben briefly watches the two senior officers head off to begin the task of organizing logistics, then turns back toward the rescue scene. What they were going to be dealing with was way above Ben's pay grade. He was only interested in any sign of Kim, so he scanned the faces of anyone coming out of the wreckage. Anxiously fumbling through his pockets, Ben feels a small velvet box. _Talk about paranoid. I was so worried about losing this I didn't want to leave it in my locker._ He shakes his head in amusement then returns to search the line of people exiting the once mighty ship. Ben sees a group of firefighters carrying two stretchers out; they are both shrouded with sheets. Two dead among how many of those who were on the SDF-1 in its last moments? So much loss and devastation, Ben could not help reliving what he considered a mistake: not killing Khyron when he had the chance several months ago. How many people now dead would still be alive if Ben had disobeyed the order to capture him alive? Even now, guilt still taunted him from the back of his mind.

For a long period of time, it was only emergency personnel going in. It put Ben on edge to have to keep waiting for news about Kim and the rest of the Trio. Was Kim the one with the broken arm? Or the concussion? He overheard that flooding was occurring in the lower decks. _Was that going to make exiting the wreck more difficult?_ He paced along the rope cordoning off the triage area like a caged animal, looking for just the tiniest glimpse of his lady love. Another group finally started exiting the ship; three stretchers were being carried by rescuers followed by a pair of figures staggering behind. Two of the carried victims were shrouded, some blood starting to seep through the sheets while the third victim looked like they had long blond hair. The trailing pair had a taller woman with glasses and a sling on one arm and her companion had raven black hair. Ben couldn't see her eyes, but he knew in his gut it was Kim. She made it through without any obvious injuries!

"KIM!" he shouted as he slipped under the dividing rope.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant, only authorized personnel allowed past this point."

"Let go of me!" Ben shouted, "That's my fiancé!" He shook free of the worker and began a slow, limping run toward Kim, his burned foot registering pain again. As he got closer to the women, he saw Kim's usually vibrant eyes were dull and lifeless, their color a pale agate. She was walking like someone in shock, struggling to put one foot in front of the other. Ben's heart was breaking; he couldn't imagine what ordeal she had just been put through. Kim continued to stare straight ahead as she trudged along toward the triage area. It was Vanessa that noticed him and her expression became that of someone seeing a ghost. The shock stayed on Vanessa's face for a minute or two before she realized that she wasn't imagining things: it really was Ben coming toward them. Ben slowed to a moderate walk as he got within a few yards of the group. He saw Vanessa trying to nudge Kim with her uninjured arm, but Kim just continued on like she was in a fog. Ben wanted to run right up and grab her and spin her in a joyful embrace, but with Kim acting shell-shocked he knew that now was not the time for that. _Please God, let me be able to help her._

Ben slowly moved next to Kim, putting her between him and Vanessa, and began walking along in step with them. He tentatively reached for her hand and was relieved when she didn't shy away from his touch. "Hey baby," he said quietly in her ear, "It's OK, I'm here now." She shakes her head, like she was trying to break out of the fog, and then, still staring forward, says to no one in particular, "Dear God, I miss him so much it really feels like he was here holding my hand." A tear starts flowing down her cheek. "I didn't even get a chance to tell him." Ben takes a moment to realize that she meant her pregnancy. He whispers to her, "It's OK baby. I know. I hope our child will be healthy when it's born." and squeezes her hand tighter. "I wish I had asked you to marry me before tonight." At that thought, Kim begins to sob, lightly at first, but heavier and louder with each intake of breath. After three more steps, she stops and turns into Ben's shoulder and cries deeply and heavily. The pent up emotions of the past hours have finally found release.

As Kim starts crying heavily, Ben gathers her in his arms and gently hugs her, trying his best to provide comfort, both physical and emotional. He nods to Vanessa, as a signal that he can handle things from here; Vanessa needs to get to the triage area to have that broken arm looked at. She nods back and moves off to take a position next to the stretcher carrying Sammy. Turning his attention back to Kim, he does everything he can think of to reassure her things will be alright now. She sobs constantly for what seems like ten minutes then finally looks up into his face. It takes a while for her to focus on his features, but as she wipes a few last sniffles away Kim slow says, "It's really you?"

"Yes baby, it's really me. It's not your imagination. I am really here."

She starts crying again, although this time it seems more tears of joy to Ben. But then she starts hitting his chest and cursing at him. "Damn you Dixon! Why did you do that?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! Did you want your child to grow up an orphan? Did you love me so little that you'd want to take the easy way out?" More emotions start flooding out of her, each word punctuated by a fist to his chest. "Were you trying to make me hate you? Didn't you love me anymore? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING BEN? DID YOU THINK OF HOW I WOULD FEEL IF YOU DIED?!" Ben let her vent for several minutes. As much as her accusations hurt him, he knew she needed to get all these emotions out; the crisis of the battle had force her to keep them pent up far too long. Eventually she stopped yelling and buried her head in his shoulder and cried again. Ben was pretty sure she was past the worst of it now.

He had to tell her, ask her really, now. Grabbing her gently by the shoulder, so she would look him straight in the eye, "I love you more than anything Kimberly Young, more than life itself. Whatever I did I did to make sure you didn't die. I took the course of action I thought would allow both of us to live, but above all I did everything in my power to make sure you lived." He stopped to gauge her reaction and was reward with a small smile on her lips. "I could not imagine my life without you in it, baby. I wanted to ask you this over dinner tonight, but I'm not going to wait any longer. Will you marry me?" He sees a myriad of emotions play over her face: confusion, surprise, realization, and finally joy. She is back; the woman he loves is back. Her eyes, those beautiful violet gemstones of eyes, are sparkling again.

"I don't know about that Ben," she says with a playful tone, "Shouldn't you be down on a knee or something and offering me a ring?"

"Very well, my dear." Ben replies with a smirk. He pulls the velvet box from his flight suit pocket, gets down on one knee and opens the box for her. "Miss Young, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Kim gasps and covers her mouth in surprise. _Oh my god, that ring is beautiful!_ Laughing and shedding tears of joy, she quickly replies, "Absolutely Mr. Dixon. I would love to be your wife." She then grabs his neck and gives him a bear hug, almost knocking them both to the ground. When Kim finally lets him go, Ben takes the ring, places it on her left hand, then rises to hug her again. "C'mon baby, it's been a long day and we both still need to get checked out." He holds her hand and leads her to the triage area, knowing now that their relationship will be able to survive anything.

* * *

Author's Notes: Confession time…when I was originally outlining this whole story arc, I was initially planning on ending everything with Chapter 16 (I was obsessing on the symmetry aspect of things.) but I realized I couldn't kill Ben off after going through all the trouble to see what happened when he didn't get killed. There are still many stories to relate about our Mr. Dixon here. I may come back and add to this story, to continue what happens in the aftermath of Khyron's attack, but for now I am looking to write a prequel story of how Ben was on Macross Island in the first place. (Some of which was introduced in _Bloom of Hope._)

Chapter title was lyrics from _You Can't Always Get What You Want_ by the Rolling Stones.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles property of Harmony Gold USA.

Still more horror in the terrible aftermath of Khyron's suicide attack.

I'm not quite ready to put this story arc to bed, although I may end this and start a third arc eventually

* * *

**Chapter 18 – Pierce right through me, can't you understand**

_Ouch _Ben slowly hobbled to the triage area with Kim hanging on to his arm. They could see Sammy and Vanessa getting loaded into an ambulance, the two of them having had their injuries assessed. As they continued walking, some EMTs came up to them and began assessing their own injuries. Ben showed one his badly singed boot and the EMT escorted him to a truck tailgate where Ben could sit down and remove the boot and let someone check how badly his foot was burned. Kim told another EMT that she didn't think she had gotten injured, but they decided to at least check her vital signs as a precaution, especially when Kim informed them she was two months pregnant. The medics couldn't find anything obviously wrong with her, so she wouldn't need to get transported to the medical center, but they did instruct her to see her regular doctor or her OBG as soon as possible. The medics working on Ben said he was very lucky to only have first degree burns, considering how burnt his flying boot was. They gave him an ice pack and told him to keep cooling the burn site for the next twenty-four hours to help the healing.

Ben sat for about fifteen minutes with the icepack on his foot before he and Kim decided they needed to get to the medical center to see how Sammy and Vanessa were fairing. If it was possible, Ben wanted to get out of his flight suit. The airbase hadn't suffered any hits before they scrambled this afternoon, but that didn't mean it wasn't targeted later in the battle. If they couldn't get at any of their clothes stored at their base lockers they would need to see if their apartments survived Khyron's salvos against the officers housing. Ben went up to one of the MPs to see about transportation to the airbase and she was able to flag down a military jeep. "Thank you Sergeant," Ben said with a salute and proceeded to get Kim, then himself into the passenger seats of the jeep. The driver eased out through the debris field surrounding the wreckage of the three warships, finally getting up to speed when they reached clear road.

As they neared the airbase, the tired couple realized luck was on their side: the base hardly had a scratch! There was some collateral damage along the area closest to the officers housing, but the base itself had not been directly targeted. _Probably because it was on the opposite side of the SDF-1 from Khyron's approach direction, _mused Ben, _and I'm guessing the guy was obsessing on the battle fortress, even though going for the airbase first would have made more sense._ The private driving the jeep agreed to wait while Ben quickly changed out of his flight suit; a shower would have to wait until later. Unfortunately for Kim, any spare civvies she had at work went down with the SDF-2. Ben would have offered Kim a clean set of his workout sweats, but those clothes would have been huge on her. When asked, the driver told them a lot of the streets were still impassable in the housing area, so the young couple decided that he could take them to the medical center. At least they'd be able to check on how Sammy and Vanessa were doing.

* * *

The two young officers were too exhausted for idle chatter on the ride there, so Kim snuggled into the crook of Ben's right shoulder and he held her tightly with that arm, trying to make her feel safe and secure. The sun began setting as they made their way to the med center and Ben could notice emergency floodlights being set up around the crash site; the first responders would be working around the clock to secure the area and make sure everyone still alive was brought out of the wreckage. It was a dark moonless night when they finally arrived at their destination. Giving a salute and a 'thank you' to the driver, Ben and Kim walked into the lobby and into a mass of milling people, both military and civilian, all there for the same reason they were there: to check on friends and family. The line to the front desk was long, but it moved steadily and soon Ben and Kim were talking to a staffer trying to get information on their friends.

Kim spoke in a tired but confident voice to the women manning the front desk, "We're looking for Lt. Sammy Porter and Lt. Vanessa Leeds ma'am. They were brought here by ambulance about an hour to an hour and a half ago from the battle fortress wreckage. Lt. Leeds had a broken arm and Lt. Porter may have suffered a concussion."

"May I ask who you are Lieutenant?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm Lt. Kim Young; I was with Lieutenants Porter and Leeds on the bridge of the SDF-1 during the final enemy attack. I am the closest thing to family either woman has left."

"My apologies Lt. Young," the staffer says with a sympathetic tone, "I will see what I can find out about your friends." The staffer types hurriedly on her system keyboard. "Let's see … Lt. Leeds is in Exam #8. She has already been to X-ray for that arm and once the radiologist on duty takes a look at it, the doctors will know how to patch her up." The staffer types more information in. "OK. It says here Lt. Porter was diagnosed with a concussion and she has been taken for a CT scan. I guess the ER docs wanted to check if she had a skull fracture or not, because that might mean surgery. Even if there's no fracture, they are probably going to keep her at least twenty-four hours for observation due to the concussion."

"Thank you ma'am. Would it be possible for my fiancé and me to go back to Exam #8 and see Lt. Leeds?"

"It should be OK, but you'll need to stop over at the security desk, over there to the left, and get visitors passes. After that, go through those big double doors in the back corner there and follow the signs to the ER."

"Thank you again, you've been so helpful."

Kim leads Ben to the security desk where each gets a visitor pass good for the next twelve hours. From there, they make their way to the emergency room and Exam #8. Vanessa is still there, sitting up on the exam table, when she catches sight of her friends, "Hey you guys! I was worried when I didn't see you come in on any of the ambulances after mine."

"The EMTs said they couldn't find any injuries on me and Ben only had minor burns. We had a chance for Ben to get his regular uniform out of his locker at the airbase, but I've got to wait until it's possible to get to our housing units. This morning's outfit went down with the ship."

"Same problem here too, although I'm not sure what I have with sleeves that will go over a cast."

"Have the doctors said anything about the results of your x-rays?" asked Ben.

"Yes, they were here just before you showed up. Apparently I was very lucky. It was a clean break and won't need surgery for pins or screws or anything like that. The doctors will just need to set it and put a cast on it. Did either of you hear anything about Sammy?"

"The lady at the front desk said the ER doctors sent her for a CT scan, to check for skull fractures. Sammy definitely had a concussion, so even if the CT is negative, they'll be keeping her until tomorrow for observation." Kim replied to her friend.

"We'll need to come back and see her tomorrow then." Vanessa said thoughtfully, "The doctors should be back soon to put a cast on me. The three of us should be able to go home after that."

"Hopefully there's a home left to go back to." Kim voiced sadly.

* * *

The wait was longer than they were hoping for, but not totally unexpected considering the number of injured crew persons and civilians there were. Vanessa gritted her teeth like a trooper and only let a small gasp when the doctors set the break. From there, the nurses were done with the actual wrapping of the fiberglass cast in fifteen minutes, including curing time. This cast went past her elbow and would stay on for at least three weeks. If Vanessa was lucky and the break healed quickly, the doctors might be able to put a half cast on for the final four weeks. After Vanessa signed out at the ER desk, the three friends made their way to the main lobby, figuring it would be easier to hail a taxi or a military jeep from there. Out near the street, Ben was able to ask a civilian police officer about the roads to the officers housing. The policeman said those roads were most likely going to be closed until morning, although the city and the military did have crews working overnight to get them cleared.

"That leaves us a little stuck ladies" Ben reported, "Let me try and call my folks. If their house came out of this OK we should be able to crash there tonight anyway."

"I'm game, baby. We should stay as close to town as possible so we can be back in the morning to see Sammy."

"I agree with Kim. Are you sure it will be OK with your parents Ben?"

"I'm sure it will be OK. What I'm not sure of is if they're home and their home made it through the attack."

The famed Dixon luck was holding even now: Ben's parents were home, the house was untouched, and they had no problem with Ben, Kim and Vanessa coming and staying the night. Even better, there were no road closures between there and the medical center. Ben got off the phone, gathered up the girls and hailed a taxi. Within minutes they were at the Dixon abode and collapsing on the couch. Mr. and Mrs. Dixon were just glad their son was still alive and equally glad to know Max and Miriya had made it through the battle as well. Although she didn't make a fuss about it, Mrs. Dixon's eyes got a bit of a twinkle when she noticed a ring on Kim's left hand. _Love always finds a way._ She smiled to herself. _And I am sure they would be saying something about it if today had not been such a trying time for everyone._

"It's pretty bad Ma. We lost a lot of good people today. It almost feels like my fault too."

"How could it be your fault Benjamin? You did what you could to stop that madman today. Stop being so hard on yourself!"

"Ma, I could have died today. The only reason my stunt even worked was because Khyron only had one of the small Zentraedi cruisers. If he had one of the big ones, like Breetai's flagship, there's no way I could have pulled it off. Besides, it was something I failed to do a few months ago that could have prevented all this."

"Ben! Stop that! Stop beating yourself up over that. Never feel guilty about **failing** to kill someone!"

Kim spoke up, "Your Mom is right Ben. You did what you were supposed to during Operation Cry Wolf. It was just bad luck then that Khyron escaped the trap you set. Killing him wouldn't have stopped anything because Azonia would have assumed command and she would have likely continued on with Khyron's original plan."

"I forgot about her. You're right; killing him wouldn't have solved anything. I keep thinking the Zentraedi malcontents would have gotten demoralized after his death, but they just might have fought harder having Khyron as a martyr to their cause and Azonia to take over after him."

"And that could have easily been Azonia leading the attack today to take revenge for you having killed Khyron," Vanessa added, "So even though the personnel might have been different with Khyron gone, the end result could have easily been the same."

Ben reflects on what has been said and finally sees the truth: He had spent all these months beating himself up over something he had no control over. His head in his hands, a couple of small tears dribble down Ben's cheeks as a sense of release washes through him. NO more beating a dead horse. No more rehashing the past. His family and friends needed him to be here, in the present, to help the world recover yet again. A calm feeling now takes hold of him, but also a tired feeling. His adrenaline spent, he also feels a wave of exhaustion fill him from his toes up. "Thanks, everyone." he whispers, finally ready to face the rest of his life.

"You all look like you're ready to drop," Mr. Dixon observed, "Lois and I got the spare rooms ready as soon as Ben got off the phone with her."

"Thanks Dad. The girls can share Max's old room. Or one can have my old room and I'll crash down here on the couch."

"Why doesn't Miss Vanessa take Max's old room and you and Kim can be in your old room. It isn't like the two of you aren't getting married now." Mrs. Dixon orders with a deadpan delivery.

The three young friends all do a double take and look at Ben's mom with Kim blushing hard, then Vanessa looks at Kim's left hand and does another double take all her own. "Kim! When were you going to tell me Ben popped the question?"

"He asked me after you had already been loaded on an ambulance at the triage area. And frankly, it wasn't high on my list of worries when we got to the med center to see you."

"Ma doesn't miss a thing." intoned Ben sagely, "So I think we should tell her our other news, right Kim?"

"What else do you need to tell me?" Mrs. Dixon asks apprehensively.

"Maybe we should make you guess … Grandma." Kim answers in her most mischievous tone.

Ben's mom looks at her with a puzzled expression that slowly turns to shock before finally evolving to a big grin. With the grin comes lots and lots of excited laughter as Mrs. Dixon rushes over to Kim, rubs her belly and gives her a huge bear hug and a wet kiss on the cheek. "Oh my darling daughter-in-law, you have no idea how happy that news makes me."

"Thank you Lois," says a beaming Kim, "or can I call you 'Mom" now?"

"Call me whatever makes you happy my dear! Now I suppose this is going to mean a wedding will need to be very quickly planned, correct."

"Yeah Ma, and we can keep it small too, just friends and family."

"Whatever makes you two happy, but we're not going to worry about it tonight. Let's all go get some sleep; the three of you have had such a trying day."

The young officers went and got settled for bed and all fell immediately into sleep, but it was a fitful rest for all of them. For Ben and Vanessa, the physical pain of their injuries made a sound sleep difficult to attain. For Kim, the mental strain of the day's events kept her subconscious roiled, reliving the worst parts of the day over and over again, repeatedly seeing the life slip away from Claudia and Admiral Gloval. At one point she cried out from the nightmare, which woke Ben up. He was able to hold and comfort Kim until she drifted back off to slumber. For all of them, morning came too soon.

* * *

Mr. Dixon made a light breakfast when the three young officers woke up for good and offered to drive everyone around for the day. "I doubt anyone is going to be worried about their dry-cleaning today." If the roads had gotten cleared overnight, then Kim and Vanessa would check their apartments and if things were still standing they would change into some clean clothes, whether uniforms or civvies, then go to the med center and check on Sammy. Ben would check in with the air wing, to see what kind of help the pilots were needed to provide. If he were not flying or not required to be at the airbase, then Ben would go with the girls and visit Sammy. Since main flight control went down with the SDF-2, Ben really wasn't sure what was going to happen with flight operations. All flight crews might be required on base just to secure all the equipment.

Ben dials the base switchboard, "_Hello, how may I place your call?"_

"Operator, this is Lt. Dixon of Skull Squadron. Could you patch me through to the Air group offices?"

"One moment please…"

"Good morning, Air Group offices, Corporal Marks speaking."

"Marks, this is Lt Dixon. What's the current situation at the base?"

"All routine flights are grounded until a temporary flight control tower can be set up. Both Lt. Sterlings are here attempting to keep things organized and I believe Lt. Grant has all his maintenance people in, to take of yesterday's battle damaged Veritechs."

"Any word from either Capt. Hayes or Capt. Hunter yet this morning?"

"No Sir. I believe both Captains are still stuck in meetings with the top brass. Off the record, I'm not sure anyone knows what we should be doing right now, but the unit commanders are trying to keep everyone and everything organized for when the brass does decide what to do."

"Alright Marks, sounds like I'll need to show up this morning. Please let Lt. Sterling, whichever one you see first, know that I'm on my way in from my parent's house, but I might be making a detour into the officer's housing sector. I have Lt Young and Lt. Leeds with me and they are going to need to check on their apartments."

"Can do Lt. Dixon; see you when you can get here."

_No rest for the weary_ thought an annoyed Ben. He would have liked to call in sick from work but with the level of devastation from yesterday's attack they really were going to need "all hands on deck" just to try and keep order and aid the civilian authorities in keeping the peace. Who knew how long it was going to take to recover from the loss and from the chaos. Ben hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen table. "Well, it looks like they'll need me at the airbase today."

"Really? They're going to try flight operations?" exclaimed an incredulous Vanessa.

"I don't think we're actually launching any patrols today. It sounds like we're just trying to secure everything and be ready in case of another emergency or if the civilian authorities need help."

"That makes sense. A lot of the officers probably have nowhere else to go but the base."

"We'll still go check the housing area first before I check in with Max."

The roads were cleared this morning, if barely. Some sections looked like the debris was just pushed to the side to let one lane of traffic through. It was a surreal scene, as untouched houses stood near those that were totally flattened. The girls were very lucky; their houses were among the untouched. Sammy's had a small amount of scorch marks on the siding, but it appeared undamaged otherwise. Kim went in with Vanessa to help her get clean clothes; Vanessa was going to have trouble dressing with that cast on her arm. "You ladies take your time," Mr. Dixon shouted, "I'm going to drive Ben over to his place and we'll meet you back here when we're done."

Ben was not as lucky as the Trio. Although his house was still standing it was clearly too damaged to live in. It did not suffer a direct hit during Khyron's barrage, but it looked like debris was flung into it by an explosion, a tree left leaning over the roof. Since it was military housing, all he had to worry about was salvaging any personal possessions, the furniture, however ruined, would stay. "Let me go in alone Dad so I can check how stable things are. If it's safe, then we can get stuff loaded in the car." Ben entered the front door slowly and carefully checked the path back to the bedroom. The tree had crashed through the kitchen ceiling, but the hallway appeared stable, so Ben continued deeper into the small dwelling. The ceiling in the bedroom also appeared stable, so Ben went to the closet and began removing various pieces of clothing and their hangers to bring to the car. The dresser would have to stay too, but there should be room in the trunk for all the clothing he needed to take. And other than clothes and toiletries, there really weren't any personal items here. Most of those things, like photos, were at his parent's place still.

Since there was no immediate danger, Ben and his Dad were able to get everything loaded into the car in about fifteen minutes. From there it was back to where the Trio's places were. Kim had managed to get Vanessa changed into some civvies while she herself had put on a clean uniform. She too would check in at the airbase, since she wasn't injured, to see what help they would need. The women would be able to stay here for the immediate future, so after grabbing a change of clothes for Sammy and locking everything up tight, everyone got back into the car and headed toward the medical center.

"Dad, I think we're going to go by the front gate to the base on the way to the med center. Mind dropping me off quick before you bring Kim and Vanessa there?"

"Not a problem Ben; anything to help out my favorite son."

Ben gets out at the gate after asking Kim to call him when they get any news about Sammy. Closing the car door, he steps with purpose to the gate, salutes the guard and marches through and toward the air wing offices. Nothing is on the flight line; the Veritechs he could see on the hardstands had techs and mechanics swarming all over them. Ben also noticed there were fewer planes on the hardstands than there should have been, a mute testimony to how costly Khyron's attack had been to the RDF. The grim march didn't last too long and Ben quickly entered the office area of Skull squadron. Corporal Marks snapped to attention. "At ease Corporal, it's not like I'm the CO or the XO. Do you know where either one of the Sterlings are?"

"One of us is right here Benjamin," came the somber tones of Miriya's voice, "there is quite a bit to do here, regardless of our feeling over our recent losses."

"Reporting for duty, Ma'am." Ben says with the snap of a salute. Although he may fly _Skull 3_, everyone knew that it was Miriya who was next in command after Rick and Max.

"At ease Lt. Dixon," she replies smartly, then with a warmer tone, "I am glad you came in today Benjamin, especially after everything that had happened yesterday. Although we will not be getting airborne anytime soon, there really are many things that need to be done to keep all our air units operating smoothly."

"I agree, probably starting with my after action report. Kind of glad I'm still around to write it, actually. I believed I was going to survive my final gambit, but nothing was guaranteed."

"I was not aware any Micronian would attempt that type of last ditch attack Benjamin. I salute your daring, but I truly cannot believe you were not planning a suicide run from the beginning."

"The Skipper already razzed me about that yesterday, Miriya. It was a snap decision on trying to knock that cruiser off course and it wouldn't have worked against anything bigger."

"It will be interesting to see how Capt. Hunter officially handles your actions. We have yet to hear from him since yesterday's action. He is still in meetings with the senior officers, acting as an aide to Capt. Hayes."

"The Skipper was a millimeter away from clocking me after the battle was over. I think he was worried about losing another close friend in the squadron."

"Probably true Benjamin. You better get to work on your paperwork for the battle. I will contact you if I or Max needs you to shift to a different task." she salutes Ben and returns to the hardstands to check on how things are going for the maintenance crews. Ben salutes back then makes his way to his desk. The report for yesterday's battle was likely to take a long time to complete. He had barely sat down when his phone rang. "Skull Squadron, Lt Dixon speaking."

"Ben, it's Kim. I have new about Sammy. It looks like the radiologist found signs of a skull fracture and intracranial bleeding on the CT scan. They had to rush her into surgery to help relieve the pressure on her brain."

"Is she OK now?"

"Yes, they have her recovering in the ICU, and they have her in an induced coma to help her brain heal."

"Wow, I hope she's OK after all that."

"Me too Ben, me too. I have to get off the phone now baby; I'll keep you posted if things change with Sammy. I told your Dad Vanessa and I were going to stay at the med center for a while, so he headed home."

"OK sweetie, looks like I'll be here a while myself dealing with paperwork, so just relax and call Dad if you need another ride anywhere. Gotta get off the horn too; love you." Ben hung up the phone and said a silent prayer for Sammy; the young blond was like a sister to Kim and was most likely going to be just as much a part of the family after Ben and Kim married. To take his mind off all his worries, he called up a blank report form and got to work.

* * *

Chapter title is lyrics from _Enjoy the Silence_ by Depeche Mode


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

The survivors are still trying to move on after Khyron's attack, finally having a chance to grieve.

* * *

**Chapter 19 – I just want to live while I'm alive.**

The members of the RDF began to fall into a dull routine in the days following the attack. Dr. Lang's team of technicians has been tracking the radiation and protoculture leaking from the three hulking wrecks and they have been noticing the levels gradually increasing. The decision will have to be made soon on whether New Macross will remain habitable or if it must be abandoned in the name of safety. A temporary control tower was set up at the airbase a few days after the attack, so patrols had resumed. There was no telling if any of the renegade Zentraedi were still around or if all the renegades had been on Khyron's ship. An unexpected affect of the attack was that all of the Zentraedi who had renounced violence and refused to follow Khyron now wished to be micronized, if they were not already. Khyron's final gesture had shown all the Zentraedi still on Earth that endless battle was no longer the only way to survive in the universe.

Another small bright spot, for the military personnel anyway, was that promotions were handed down on the Friday two weeks after the attack. The biggest was Capt. Hayes being promoted to Admiral, although with her being the highest surviving member of the RDF, the promotion made perfect sense. Additionally, each member of the Trio, being the highest ranking survivors of the bridge officers, was promoted to Lieutenant Commander. It seemed almost everyone who had survived the action of two weeks ago had received a promotion. The biggest promotions of the Veritech pilots were both Sterlings being promoted directly to Captain, with Max given command of Skull squadron and Miriya now Max's XO. The Skull needed a new commanding officer because Rick, although still at the rank of Captain himself, was formally given command of the entire Air Wing. Ben was glad that Corporal Marks had gotten promoted to Lieutenant and was going to be given his own squad; Marks deserved it and Ben felt he'd make a good leader, much as Ben had been given a chance to lead two years ago.

Ben himself was jumped all the way to Full Commander and given command of his own unit; he would now be in charge of Blue squadron. Although not killed in the final battle against Khyron, Cmdr. Broche was severely injured enough to have been forced out of the cockpit, possibly for good, although the doctors were still hopeful he would fly again. He saw that Turner was still in Blue and Ben wanted to put in the request for Turner to be his XO but decided on asking him directly first. Slowly walking to the Blue squadron offices, Ben thought about what he would say and hoped Turner would accept; he knew Turner was a good pilot and Ben was going to need help settling into his new role as commander of Blue squadron.

Ben poked his head into the first door in Blue's section of the air wing offices and spotted a Corporal manning the desk, who jumped to attention when he spotted the newly minted Commander.

"At ease Corporal. Is Lt. Cmdr Turner around?"

"He's at his desk sir. Shall I escort you to him?"

"That would be appreciated, Corporal…." Ben paused, hoping the young officer would offer his name.

"Artis sir, Corporal Kenneth Artis."

"Thank you Corporal Artis. I'll be assuming command of this unit on Monday and need to start learning the names of everyone in the unit."

"Very good sir. Please follow me and I'll show you where to find Commander Turner."

A short walk through the halls brought the two men to the office Ben needed to be at. He dismissed the corporal with a salute and knocked on the door. "Come in." came the slightly muffled response. Ben opened the door and went in, not sure of the reception he'd get.

"Good afternoon Cmdr. Turner." The occupant of the office looks up then quickly stands at attention.

"Welcome Cmdr. Dixon"

"At ease Turner," Ben said to relax his new subordinate, "In fact, this isn't even a formal visit, so please, call me Ben."

"Then you can call me Pete, if you're considering this 'off the clock', so to speak."

"OK Pete, I'm sure you've heard I'll be assuming command of Blue on Monday, correct?"

"Yeah, I did hear. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed I didn't get the job, but I can live with you getting it."

"Well, I'm going to need someone solid as my XO. You interested in taking that job?"

"Absolutely Ben! Our XO got killed in that last battle and with the CO hurt too, I've been trying to keep things together until the brass got their butts in gear."

"That's great to hear Pete! I was hoping you said yes but I didn't want to put the paperwork in until I knew for sure. The last thing I need right now is a second that doesn't want the job."

"I won't let you down Ben. We might even be able to give those Skulls a run for their money now." Turner said a little tongue in cheek.

"Great to hear Pete," Ben says offering a handshake, "Now how's about you showing me where my new office is. Last thing I need is to waste an hour wandering around lost on Monday."

"You got it!" Turner replies, accepting the handshake. "Follow me and we'll see about starting to get you settled in."

The two men chatted some more on the way to the CO's office and Ben knew that he'd made the correct choice for XO; he even thought that he and Pete Turner could be friends on the same level that Rick and Max and himself were. Knowing he'd be back Monday, Ben excused himself and headed back to his desk in the Skull offices; he was going to need to clean out any personal papers and didn't feel like waiting until last minute to do it. He ran into Marks when he returned and congratulated him on his promotion to lieutenant and his new responsibilities as squad leader. Ben then went to his desk to start packing and organizing; he actually had the weekend off, his first day off of any kind in the last few weeks, so this needed to be taken care of before he punched out for the day. Most of the paperwork he had filed dealt specifically with Skull squadron and would need to be filed with the unit records. A few folders of paperwork dealt specifically with him, so were placed in a box to take to his new office, as were the couple of other personal items. General office supplies could just stay where they were since the next person to get this desk would need them. After marking the boxes, Ben flagged down an enlisted man and instructed him to bring the box of personal items to the office of Blue squadron's CO; he may have needed to pack today, but there was no way he was unpacking too.

He looked again at the communiqué giving the details about his promotion. Besides listing his new rank and his new assignment, it mentioned an official ceremony for Capt. Hayes' elevation to Admiral tomorrow at 0900. _Oh great, I'll have to squeeze into my dress uniform. Hope it's not too wrinkled._ Nothing he could do about that now, so Ben finished any last minute tasks before heading out for the evening. Poking his head in for the last time, he asked Lt. Marks if the courier was still around.

"I believe so Cmdr. Dixon."

"Good, could you make sure the courier delivers this to HQ ASAP? This has to be in the hands of someone in Personnel before Monday" Ben instructs the junior officer, handing Marks the envelope with the paperwork to have Turner made XO of Blue squadron.

"You've got it, Sir. And congratulations on your own promotion."

"Thanks Lt. Marks. It's been an honor having you as a subordinate." Ben salutes then offers a handshake to the junior officer truly sorry the young man would not be serving under him anymore. Checking around for anyone else he might want to say goodbye to, he leaves this area of the building for the last time as a member of Skull squadron. With nothing else to do, Ben decides to stop by the medical center, hoping to run into Kim. She was off duty today and has been spending all her time off at the med canter waiting for Sammy to wake up. The doctors have kept her in that induced coma for the past two weeks and they were hoping her brain had healed enough to bring her out of the coma. Ben was also hoping to talk to Cmdr. Broche, the man he'd be replacing as Blue squadron commander.

* * *

A military driver was available to shuttle Ben to the med center, so only fifteen minutes passed before he was able to walk in the main entrance of the facility. He found out from the receptionist which room Cmdr Broche was in; Ben would go see him first before checking in on Sammy. Stopping by the nurses' station on Broche's floor, Ben found that Cmdr Broche was awake although they weren't sure he was up for company. _I really want to talk to him, so I'll just take my chances,_ Ben thought apprehensively.

Ben tentatively steps into the room, "Uh, Cmdr. Broche?"

"Ah, Dixon, I was wondering if you were going to stop in and see me."

"I guess that means you've heard then."

"That you'll be taking over Blue squadron from me? Yes, I've heard. I'm a little annoyed HQ didn't give me more time to get healed up, but I can understand them not wanting to let the unit go too long without a leader either."

"Is it really going to take a lot longer for you to get out of here sir?"

"We're off duty Ben, so please call me Art, short for Arthur if you have to know. And yes, it will take me a long time. Frankly Ben, the doctors still aren't 100% sure they can save my leg and how much function it will have even if they don't have to ultimately amputate." The regret came through clearly in Cmdr. Broche's voice. "If that happens, I don't know what will be next for me. Certainly won't be able to pilot a Veritech at that point. Hell, I'm not even sure I can stay in the service, especially if they wind up cutting the damn thing off."

"With the losses we suffered in that last engagement, I'm not sure HQ wants to cashier any senior pilots out, no matter what their health condition. I wouldn't be surprised if they at least offered you a position teaching at the academy. The next generation needs officers like you to show them how it's done."

Cmdr. Broche looks sideways at Ben before letting out a small chuckle, "Did HQ send you here to recruit me for an academy slot? That sounded an awful lot like a sales pitch."

"No such luck Art." Ben said with a chuckle of his own, "I just came here straight from the base and the only contact I've had with HQ is the communiqué detailing my promotion."

"Bet you already looked in my office, well I guess your office now, before you came over here."

"I admit I did stroll over there a little while ago and I got to talk to a couple of people too while I was there."

"Hope one of those people was Pete Turner. I don't know if you've thought about it yet, but he would make an excellent XO for you."

"As a matter of fact, I specifically went over there to ask Pete if he wanted the XO job. He seemed genuinely thankful I considered him for the position."

"Turner's a good kid and he won't let you down." Another chuckle comes out of Cmdr. Broche, "You know, I hope you realize I've been trying to pry you away from Skull squadron for two years now. I'm glad you're finally in Blue but I wouldn't have pictured it happening this way."

"Honestly Art, I wouldn't have thought I'd be commanding my own squadron before I was thirty, never mind now, before I'm even twenty-five."

"Tough situations make the cream rise to the top Dixon. Don't you ever forget that, seeing how many tough scrapes you and the rest of Skull have gone through since you've been in the RDF. HQ wouldn't have given you the job if they didn't think you were ready. It's up to you to prove 'em right."

"I'll do my best sir," says Ben as he rises to salute Cmdr. Broche, "And thank you for your confidence."

Cmdr Broche returns the salute, "You've earned my confidence and respect Ben. Now I realize the new duties might seem overwhelming at first, so if you need advice or mentoring, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Art that means a lot. Now if you'll excuse me, there's another patient I was hoping to check on while I was here." Ben shakes the man's hand and leaves to go down to Sammy's room. He spots Vanessa in the hall as he gets close and stops to talk. "Hey V, any change in Sammy's condition?"

"Hi Ben. No change yet, but the doctors stopped giving her the drugs to keep her under, so it's only a matter of time before she starts coming around. I'm going to head back to the room but Kim went down to the cafeteria to grab a snack."

"Hmm…a snack sounds good. I'll go catch up with Kim there and the two of us will come back up together. You want me to grab you something while we're down there?"

"Thanks, but I already asked Kim to bring up some soup if any of them looked any good."

"OK V, we'll be back up in a little bit."

Ben got in the elevator to head down to the ground floor; the cafeteria should be just to the right of the elevators if he remembered correctly. Following the directions he remembered, Ben smelled that he was correct as he strolled through the entrance and toward the serving line. Soup and salad actually sounded good; Navy bean and ham was the soup of the day and they always had chicken noodle and beef barley and there was a good selection of side salads. Filling up a bowl with the soup of the day and grabbing a small garden salad and a coffee, Ben went through the checkout and started looking for Kim.

Sitting facing the checkout area, Kim was easy to spot. She waved when she saw Ben and he quickly moved over to her table. "Hey beautiful, how's your day been?"

"Hey sweetie, It's been a long day. The doctors are going to try and wake up Sammy soon though."

"I know, I saw Vanessa upstairs a few minutes ago. I really hope Sammy is OK when she comes out of that coma."

"The doctors are pretty confident that everything healed up fine. It was a good sign that Sammy was still conscious when they first brought her here to the med center and that she arrived so quickly after getting brought out of the wreck."

Kim was trying to stay upbeat, but Ben could tell she started feeling sad when she thought back on that day. He knew she was still very upset over the deaths of Claudia and Admiral Gloval; maybe she would get some closure when they finally held memorial services for the two departed heroes. Ben also thought Kim was starting to look like she wasn't getting enough sleep. _Is she still having nightmares about what happened on the bridge that day?_ Ben was feeling very concerned over his fiancé and hoped she was seeking help. At least she had been able to get in and see her OBG last week; everything was OK with the baby and was probably helped by it still being the first trimester. Kim had nothing to worry about with the baby as long as she kept her stress levels down and kept taking good care of her own health.

"It looks like you had a good day today," Kim says playfully, "You're wearing something new I see."

"Yup. Got promoted all the way to full Commander. Guess what else though?" Ben couldn't resist a devilish smirk.

"More than just a promotion?" Kim sat puzzling.

"Yes, more than just a promotion."

"What else could you have possibly gotten in addition unless it was a new assignment? But the only way you'd get a new assignment is if they pulled you out of Skull." the look of confusion continued on Kim's face until she finely figured out the answer, "Holy cow…HQ did pull you out of Skull, didn't they. Does that mean they made you XO of a different squadron?"

"Better." Ben replied with his biggest grin possible.

"Better? No…you don't mean…"

"Yup."

"REALLY?!" Kim squeals with delight, "They gave you your own squadron?!" She practically leaps over the table to give Ben a huge hug.

"Yup, although technically I'm taking over an existing squadron, but as of Monday I'll be CO of Blue squadron."

"I'm so proud of you sweetie!" Kim continues to hug Ben for dear life.

"Thanks baby. Now why don't we finish up here so V can get something to eat?"

"Right. I hope she likes the chicken soup. I know she's not a fan of beef barley and I wasn't sure if she liked any bean soups."

Chicken soup was the best choice of what was available and Vanessa ate it hungrily. Sammy had still not woken up, but she was stirring more than when she was being kept under with drugs. The rest of the friends sat around Sammy's bed talking amongst themselves and waiting for a sign from Sammy. Conversation revealed that all of them had been promoted, including Sammy, although Ben was the only one who definitely had a new assignment. And everyone was expected to be in dress uniform tomorrow when Capt. Hayes was formally promoted to Admiral. They were so lost in the cross talk that none of them noticed that Sammy had finally opened her eyes. She was still feeling groggy, but she was having no trouble focusing on Kim's engagement ring. In a sleepy voice she faintly called out, "Wow, that's one heck of a rock Ben got you."

Everyone stopped their conversation in mid word and snapped their eyes toward the hospital bed and their young friend. Sammy looked tired but OK, although her long blond hair was gone. The neurosurgeon had to shave her head when they went in to release the pressure on Sammy's brain. Vanessa had noticed some short blond stubble poking through the bandage wrapping Sammy's head but it was going to be many months before it was as long as it had been before. She ran out to the nurses' station while Kim moved closer to the bed and held Sammy's hand. "You had us worried there."

"How long was I out?"

"A little over two weeks. The doctors had to keep you under while everything in your head healed up."

"Ouch. That must be why my head feels like an elephant is sitting on it,"

"Not surprising considering how hard you cracked your head during the crash."

"Are Cmdr Grant and Admiral Gloval still in the hospital too?"

"Sammy," Kim says hesitantly, "….they didn't make it. They were both killed from debris hitting the bridge when Khyron crashed into the Daedalus arm of the SDF-1."

Tears well up in the injured girl's eyes. Sammy can't believe they're both gone and she has to start wondering who else of their friends didn't make it. "If you tell me Lisa died too I think I'm going to scream."

"No Sammy, she made it out OK in the escape pod. In fact, there's going to be a ceremony tomorrow morning to make her an Admiral. But you know the best part?" Kim leaned in conspiratorially, "Capt. Hayes and Capt. Hunter are together now."

"Finally! I think we were all wondering when the bonehead was going to admit he loved her." Kim had to suppress a chuckle over Sammy's brash but accurate assessment of the Hayes-Hunter soap opera. A duty nurse came in at that time to take Sammy's vitals and announced that the rest of them would need to go home: visiting hours were over. Kim and Vanessa let Sammy know that they'd both be here to see her after the ceremony, then each squeezed their friend's hand and headed home. Ben had been staying in the background, not wanting to intrude on the three best friends, and followed Kim and Vanessa out into the hall when they left. He hugged his fiancé when they got down to the lobby and made his way to his parent's house. Tomorrow morning was going to be very long, if the other military ceremonies he's been at were any indication. He was going to need all the sleep he could get tonight. And he had to make sure his dress uniform was OK as well.

* * *

The alarm went off angrily at 0700 hours. Ben slapped at the clock and slowly trudged to the bathroom to take a shower. He wouldn't have gotten up this early personally, but an additional communiqué was waiting for him at his parent's place saying that he would need to arrive early because of special seating arrangements. He was to be specially seated in the front row at the ceremony, probably with a bunch of the other officers who had been newly promoted to unit commanders. He took his time shaving; the last thing he needed was to be bleeding on his dress uniform. That at least was in good condition: no stains and no wrinkles. He hated the hat that came with it which was somewhat ironic considering how often and for how many hours a day he wore a pilot's "thinking cap". _Probably more comfortable in that because a flight suit was his regular work clothes, _Ben reflected as he scraped the last patch of whiskers off.

The base had arranged for a car to pick him up at 0800 hours and bring him directly to where a grandstand had been set up on base for the ceremony. There had to have been hundreds of chairs set up in front of that grandstand as well; it almost looked like enough chairs for the entire military compliment on base. Not everyone would be there of course since at least a skeleton crew would be manning vital stations, but pretty much everyone else would be here. And by the number of chairs on the grandstand itself there would be lots and lots of visiting dignitaries at the ceremony. _Looks like Capt. Hayes is just as respected as Admiral Gloval was._

Ben checked in soon after being dropped off and was escorted by the base protocol officer to a seat in the middle of the front row almost directly in front of the podium. Several other people were also here and being seated in the first row, but Ben didn't recognize any faces. He was too nervous to sit so he just stood for a while to watch the rows behind him in anticipation of the throngs to enter soon. He still couldn't believe how many people were going to be in the audience for this dog and pony show. Ben had no illusions, the top brass were going out of their way to make this a spectacle, as a way to boost morale, for the civilians at least if not the survivors in the RDF. "You're not falling asleep standing up are you?" came a familiar teasing voice.

"Nope. Just trying to figure why they wouldn't let me sit in the back." he replied with a grin without taking his eyes off the mass of chairs.

"So you won't shoot spitballs at the teacher…DUH." says his fiancé in mock surprise.

Ben turns to embrace her, "They making you sit in the front row too?"

"Yes Ben and neither of us know why." interjected Vanessa. Apparently both women were in the front row.

Ben looks around quick for an ambulance. "Almost gotta wonder if they're going to try and wheel Sammy in on a gurney. You just have to believe the brass have something special up their sleeves for us."

"They probably do and it will probably be embarrassing for us on top of it. We'll all just have to grin and bear it, even if we'd rather be hiding under a rock sweetie." Kim gave him a quick peck on the cheek, knowing this was not the time for a long passionate kiss, even if they were engaged. Before long the rest of the "special guests" had been escorted to the front row and the rest of the seats began filling up. "Time to sit down ladies, I have a feeling the show is going to start soon."

The show was indeed almost ready to begin. A few minutes after Ben and the girls sat down all the dignitaries started climbing up onto the grandstand stage. It looked to Ben as if the entire general staff had made their way onto the stage seating and a good number of civilian leaders as well. Ben thought he might have recognized the UEG President, but he wasn't totally sure. Soon Lisa Hayes was climbing up and taking a seat in the center of the bigwigs. She already had her Admiral's uniform on so this was just the pomp of a formal presentation of her new rank insignia; like him, Admiral Hayes most likely received official notification of her promotion last week. Ben envied Admiral Hayes: she didn't look nervous at all, even though she was going to be the center of attention.

Soon Admiral Reinhart stepped up to the podium and began speaking. He spoke of the remembrance of those members of the RDF that were now departed. He spoke of the bravery, dedication and courage of all those who have served in the RDF. Finally he spoke of Admirals of past centuries, giving the classic examples of leadership, such as Nelson at Trafalgar. Lastly he spoke directly of Elizabeth Hayes and how she had earned the rank of Admiral. At that, Admiral Reinhart brought her up to stand with him at the podium so that he could pin her new rank insignia on her. That task completed, he stepped back and gave her a sharp salute. It is now time for Admiral Hayes to address the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen, as I assume my new rank I accept and reaffirm the task given to me by Henry Gloval before his passing: to go to the stars and find the home world of the Robotech Masters." She paused for dramatic effect. "To accomplish this task, we will begin constructing the SDF-3 as our flagship for this monumental task." Murmurs of surprise wash through the audience. "There are those among you who are questioning the necessity of committing the resources to the construction of this next mighty vessel, but I must remind you that this will not only be a diplomatic mission but one of exploration, a Robotech Expeditionary Force searching for what will become new worlds for humanity to settle. As Henry Gloval realized many years ago humans will not long survive if we are relegated to only this single world. The survival of humans as a species depends on our ability to move beyond the confining bounds of Earth and spread ourselves among the stars."

As Lisa moves to sit back down, Admiral Reinhart returns to the podium and resumes speaking. "Thank you, Admiral Hayes, for those inspirational words. Before you return to your seat, I have one more thing to present to you." He waits for her to step back up near the podium before continuing. "Admiral Hayes, for heroism above and beyond the call of duty during the combat action on 30 December, I am proud to present you with the Titanium Medal of Valor, the highest decoration in the RDF." Reinhart pins the medal on her uniform coat, next to several other ribbons and decorations then gives a crisp salute. "Congratulations Admiral Hayes." Lisa returns the salute and graciously accepts the award. As Lisa sits down, Admiral Reinhart continues with his announcements. "Would Lt. Cmdr. Kimberly Young please come up to the stage?" Kim and Ben look at each other as she stands up, not knowing what to expect.

Kim quickly moves up onto the stage to the podium and snaps to attention. "Lt. Cmdr. Young, for heroism above and beyond the call of duty during the combat action on 30 December, I am proud to present you with the Titanium Medal of Valor, the highest decoration in the RDF. Congratulations." Admiral Reinhart repeats the action of pinning the medal on a uniform jacket and saluting the recipient. Kim returns the salute, shakes the Admiral's hand and returns to her seat. "Would Lt. Cmdr. Vanessa Leeds please come up to the stage?" As gracefully as she can with her arm still in a cast, Vanessa glides up the stairs of the stage like a swan, moves to the podium and stands at attention. "Lt. Cmdr. Leeds, for heroism above and beyond the call of duty during the combat action on 30 December, I am proud to present you with the Titanium Medal of Valor, the highest decoration in the RDF. And for wounds sustained during said combat action, I present to you this Purple Heart. Congratulations." The Admiral pins both awards on Vanessa's uniform coat before saluting. The normally reserved bridge officer is beaming as she returns the salute, looking like she is floating on air as she returns to her seat.

"I have been told that Lt. Cmdr. Samantha Porter is still recovering from injuries. She will receive her medals in a private bedside ceremony at the medical center. Now, would Commander Benjamin Dixon please come up to the stage?" Ben calms himself, then stride with military precision up onto the stage, where he stops in front of Admiral Reinhart and assumes his best attention stance. "Commander Dixon, it is my absolute honor to present to you the Titanium Medal of Valor for your actions and heroism on 30 December. By using your Veritech to knock the enemy battle cruiser off its original course of impact into the SDF-1, at great personal risk to yourself, you were able to save untold hundreds of lives that would have perished if Khyron had succeeded in his mad suicide plunge. It has actually been a pleasure to present this medal of valor to all of you today. Too many times in the past I have had to present this award posthumously, and you Cmdr. Dixon have not only bucked the odds on that, but you have also earned a second medal of valor, a rare feat indeed. " "Thank you, Sir." replies Ben, snapping up a sharp salute. He walks proudly back to his seat and sits down, the smile on his face able to light up NYC. He leans over to Kim and whispers, "I think we've got something new to celebrate."

* * *

Author's Notes: Cmdr. Broche, Lt. Cmdr. Turner, Lt. Marks and Corporal Artis are original characters of mine, some of them introduced in earlier chapters. (The pilots in other squadrons can't all be nameless faceless cannon fodder.)

Chapter title is lyrics from _It's My Life_ by Bon Jovi


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Kim is still having issues with what happened on the bridge of the SDF-1.

* * *

**Chapter 20 – It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up.**

The promotion ceremony for Admiral Hayes and the awarding of the medals lifted the spirits of all the military personnel stationed in New Macross, but the feelings were to be short lived. Dr. Lang's teams continued to measure increasing radiation levels around the three wrecks as it slowly leaked out of the twisted hulks. There was no longer any doubt: both the military base and the civilians were going to be forced to abandon New Macross. Before the year was out the radiation levels will have spread beyond the site of the wreckage and it would be high enough to be lethal to humans. The military personnel might have moved anyway since they were going to need a larger base to prepare for the SDF-3 mission. But they couldn't just leave the civilians either.

The general staff met continuously to plan the logistics of the new base and several meetings included the mayors of New Macross and of Monument City, the best candidate to relocate the base to. This was not just a military problem, especially with the significant relationship between the people of New Macross and the RDF. Most likely the military would need to help transport civilian possessions to their new locations. The mayor of Monument City assured everyone at the meeting that there would be enough housing available if all the citizens of New Macross chose to migrate. There was also the chance that some of the civilians might choose to move to other cities if they had family in other parts of the world. Whatever happened, the RDF would make sure no one was left behind, even if they had to use transport aircraft.

"But any private industry would have the resources to move their operations on their own dime," Colonel Maistroff said adamantly.

"I can't disagree with that Colonel and I realize the RDF doesn't have unlimited resources," Adm. Hayes replied, "but I think when any of us here mention helping the civilians we're talking about helping individual families move to safer areas of habitation. For close to, what…almost four years now, most of the citizens of this city have had their fate tied to the SDF-1. Adm. Gloval wouldn't be letting these people down if he was still alive and I certainly won't do any less."

"And we shouldn't do any less," jumped in Adm. Reinhart, "these people are in this situation because of us. We owe them."

"Understood, Admirals." Maistroff said grudgingly.

"Good," Lisa said, taking back control, "Then we need to hurry up and get a plan in place Gentleman. I'm thinking that the residents closest to Lake Gloval should get priority, as they are closest to the radiation danger."

The details of the relocation plan began to shape and it was invaluable to have both mayors at the meeting and ready with their input. The local governments of both cities would each need a few days to let their citizens know what was going to be happening. Then the arduous task of actually moving families would begin. The military families would also be moving, so if the RDF wasn't careful, the whole situation could turn into a logistical nightmare. Some of that portion of the move would be taken care of during the relocation to the new base but there could be some temporary separation of family members for those RDF members living off base or outside of the military housing. This was because the decision was made to make sure the civilians were moved before military personnel. At the conclusion of this organizational meeting, it was tasked to the unit commanders to make sure their subordinates knew what was going to be happening in the coming weeks.

* * *

Rick chose to have his meeting the next morning to notify all the squadrons commanders who in would themselves tell all their pilots. It would be the first meeting Rick has held with all of his subordinates since being appointed to CAG and he had the unenviable task of informing them how disrupted their lives would get over the next few weeks. While Rick wasn't looking forward to that meeting, Ben was getting a little excited over the prospect. He wasn't worried about whatever news Capt. Hunter would have; although he had been in command for almost a week now Ben was happy about it being his first major meeting of any sort as CO of Blue squadron. As excited as he was, it was a different, sadder reason that Ben did not sleep well. He had been staying at Kim's place since the medal ceremony and she had continued to have fitful nightmares. Last night was the worst; Kim actually bolted awake when she screamed and refused to go back to sleep.

"Baby, you really need to see someone about this. You've been sleeping so poorly since the battle that it's starting to affect your work."

"I'm sorry Ben. I just keep seeing their faces and seeing them die over and over and over again. I can't take it anymore. I think you're right; I need to see someone about this but it can't just be anyone."

"You should call Dr. Grant. She'll be able to recommend someone from the RDF medical staff for you to see. I know it's very difficult to grieve in this situation so soon after things happened but maybe talking to a counselor can help."

"I'll call Ben, I promise. I can't help thinking it's something more than just being able to grieve; that's why it's been affecting me so bad."

"See if whoever Jean suggests can squeeze you in today if possible but absolutely sometime tomorrow. You really need to get back to having a good night's sleep baby."

"I will Ben, really," Kim says in a very tired voice, "Could you just hold me sweetie? I can at least rest then, even if I don't fall all the way asleep." Ben folds her into his arms and tries to keep her comforted until he has to get out of bed and start getting ready for work. Kim is at least lightly dozing by then but Ben knows it isn't the deep sleep her mind and body need to heal from the awful experiences of the past few weeks. _I really hope she does remember to call Dr. Grant today._

Ben is tired enough to want to linger in the shower today, but the Skipper's meeting was too important to miss. He hurried out without breakfast, figuring that he'd be able to grab something at the commissary after the meeting. Ben didn't want to be late; it would reflect poorly on him as a squadron CO. At least there was coffee set up in the conference room. Grabbing a cup, he goes to sit over near Max. Looking around the room, Ben slowly realizes just how many losses the RDF had taken recently. He recognized a number of the fourteen faces in the room, but he was pretty sure that those pilots weren't squadron COs before the recent round of promotions and some of the other newly minted COs seem to be coming to the same conclusion. He turns around, hoping to have a quick chat with Max but the Skipper walks in to start the meeting.

"Good morning gentleman," Rick starts, making eye contact with all his squadron leaders, "I am your new Air Group Commander. For those who don't know me, I am Capt. Rick Hunter." Chuckles went through the room; how could any Veritech pilot not know one of the living legends of the RDF. "Several of you are also assuming a new position and although I hate to do this I have some unsettling news for you to pass along to your squadrons." Concerned murmurs now went through the seated men. "Dr. Lang and his engineering crews have confirmed that radiation levels are gradually rising around the wreckage of the battle cruisers in and around Lake Gloval. Frankly he's astonished that none of the containment units in those ships totally ruptured during the battle but they obviously did sustain some sort of damage."

"What does that mean for us Captain?" Ben looked to see it was Red squadron's CO that asked the pointed question.

"For the long term, we will be shifting operations to the base outside Monument City and that base will gradually be expanded to include the SDF-3 mission. For the short term, we will be assisting the local authorities in the evacuation of the civilian populace of New Macross. They are being urged to migrate to Monument City as well, but ultimately the RDF will relocate them to the city of their choice."

"Veritechs aren't that good for carrying cargo Skipper." said a slightly frustrated voice, most likely Ghost's CO.

"Our squadrons won't be doing any of the actual moving gentlemen. More likely is that we will be spending a lot of time in Battloid mode helping to patrol the city and keep order. The last thing the mayor or the brass want is panic and chaos among the citizens."

"What about military families, especially those not living in base housing?" That question was from Max, obviously thoughts of Miriya and Dana in the back of his mind.

"It might mean those families getting split up for a little bit. Be assured gentlemen…operations at the base here will not be moving until _AFTER _the civilians have been completely evacuated_._ Dr. Lang has calculated that at the current rate of leakage it will be several months before the radiation reaches lethal levels but we don't want to wait. We need to get the civilians out of here as quickly as humanly possible since there's no telling if the radiation will start leaking quicker from the wrecks in the future."

Rick studied the faces of the men under his command, watching the various emotions play over them: worry, annoyance, fear, and anger. But he was proud and relieved to see each one settle into an expression of grim determination. Like any other tough mission they've had these leaders will do their utmost to successfully accomplish the objective and they will make sure everyone in each of their squadrons will also do their utmost. He focused on both Max and Ben and received reassuring nods from both of them.

"Are there any other questions?" Seeing none, Rick continued, "Very well then. The mayor of New Macross will be holding a press conference early this afternoon to let the populace know about the evacuation. I would suggest you all informing your squadrons of what I've just told you this morning before that time. I'd hate for them to find out from a civilian newscast. Dismissed."

As his subordinates begin to file out, Rick motions Max and Ben to hang back. "What's up Boss?" asks a curious Ben.

"Yeah Skipper," chimes in Max, "You feeling OK?"

"I'm just feeling a little shocked at how many new squadron commanders there were and that how many of the new ones weren't even cadets when I first got assigned you two as subordinates. Are they going to be able to handle this? It's not going into combat but this whole situation could wind up being more stressful than getting shot at."

"You need to have faith in your subordinates Rick. You had faith in us many moons ago and there's no reason not to extend that faith to the other men now under your command." observed Max sagely.

"I'm not going to speak for the other squadrons but I know Blue squadron is ready, willing, and able to perform this mission Boss. They may even be more ready for this than for going into combat, since this mission will involve helping their own families and aiding all the civilians we've protected the past few years."

"Thanks, both of you. I guess it's just natural to have a few doubts when you start a new job." Rick responds with a relieved tone, brushing his hand through his black mop top.

"Any time Skipper," replies Max. Both he and Ben come to attention and salute.

"You can always count on us Boss." voices Ben, in that same strong confident voice he used the very first time he met Rick Hunter.

"Thanks guys. Now you better get going. I wasn't kidding about telling your men sooner than later." Rick tells them with a mock gruffness.

* * *

Ben strode into the Blue squadron offices after grabbing a bagel at the commissary. It was not going to be easy to relay what Capt. Hunter had just told all the squadron commanders but they all had the right to know as soon as possible. That was going to be a soon as they were all rounded up. Blue was not scheduled for patrol duty today, so the rounding should happen very quickly. He pokes his head into his XO's office, "Hey Pete, gather the squadron up. I've got a lot of info from HQ to tell everyone."

"Right on it Boss."

Ben waits in the unit's ready room and watches everyone quickly file in and sit down. A few faces have a concerned look, a couple an almost frightened look, but most have a curious look. _Can't really blame any of them, considering they don't have any idea what I'll be saying. _"OK, listen up. I've just gotten informed by the CAG that we will be abandoning the base here at New Macross." The same kind of murmurs from this morning repeated themselves here among the pilots of Blue squadron. "According to the information from this morning, the three wrecks in the lake are leaking radiation and the levels are gradually increasing. New Macross won't be habitable by this time next year. The new…."

Corporal Artis interrupts, "So we're just going to bug out and ditch the civilians?"

"I'll be getting to that Corporal. There will be a time for questions after I'm finished." Ben was a little short replying to Artis. _God, how does Rick make running a meeting look so easy?_ "Now…the new base will be up at Monument City and eventually the SDF-3 mission will also be based there. To address the Corporal's question, our move to the new base won't occur until all the civilians have been evacuated and the RDF will be aiding in the evacuation. Most of that work will be the ground pounders and their trucks, but we'll have a part to play as well. According to the CAG, the Veritech squadrons will most likely be made available to assist the MPs and the civilian authorities with keeping order. As you can imagine, it will be a big bag of chaos to move the populace of a whole city but if anyone can do it in an orderly fashion it will be the citizens of New Macross. From what I understand, the mayor of New Macross will be giving a press conference in a few hours in order to inform all his citizens of the decision to permanently evacuate the city."

The questions his men asked were pretty much the same questions asked in this morning's meeting so Ben had at least a basic answer for them. The couple of questions that he didn't know the answer to he told those people he would find out the answers ASAP. When there were no other questions, Ben dismissed the men and headed back to his own office, lost in thought and embarrassed about losing his cool at Corporal Artis. Being in command wasn't as easy as it looked and Ben knew there were going to be lots of lessons, both formal and informal, in how to be a good…no, a great commander. _If I am going to be in charge, I should try to be the best I can be. _Sitting down at his desk, Ben checked his appointments and saw he had a block of free time before his next meeting today. Feeling worried about his parents, he decided to give the house a call. If someone was there he'd give them the heads up, otherwise he'd just leave a short message telling them to call him back. The move to Monument City was not information he wanted to leave on an answering machine. He thought carefully on what he wanted to say as his parent's phone began to ring.

* * *

_Case Notes._

_Tuesday, January 18, 2013_

_RE: Lt. Cmdr. Kimberly Young _

_Session requested by Dr. Jean Grant, Chief Medical Officer, RDF._

_Dr. Grant has requested I see this officer after being contacted this morning by Miss Young. The patient has been complaining about sleeping poorly and being kept awake by nightmares. I will need to investigate what is causing the nightmares in order to help Miss Young._

* * *

At the same time Ben was in the squadron leaders' meeting, Kim was pacing in the office of Dr. Irina Petrov. (1) She kept her promise to call Dr. Grant as soon as she woke up and when she heard Kim's story Jean was able to get her an appointment this morning with Dr. Petrov. "She's the best counselor we've got Kim. If she can't help you, you can't be helped." So Kim found herself at the med facilities on base, nervously waiting for the doctor to arrive, killing time by looking at the photos and books on the shelves. "Good morning Cmdr. Young," comes a greeting behind her, "Dr. Grant sounded most urgent when she described your troubles to me earlier." Kim had practically jumped upon hearing the doctor speak. She hadn't heard Dr. Petrov open the door and the doctor had a pronounced Russian accent. _Just like Adm. Gloval, _realized Kim. Seeing how Kim had jumped, Dr. Petrov continues, "My apologies Miss Young. I did not mean to startle you."

"That's all right Doctor. I have to admit it was your accent that surprised me a little, because…"

"…because it reminded you of Henry?" finished Dr. Petrov. Kim shyly nods in response. "I miss him terribly too Commander. I knew him as far back as the Unification Wars and he was a great man then. Please, sit down and we can get started." As Dr. Petrov sits down at her desk Kim takes a seat in the cushioned black leather chair on the opposite side of the desk, not realizing the exam had begun as soon as Dr. Petrov had entered the room. When both women had settled in, Dr. Petrov began her questions in earnest. "So Miss Young, could you tell me how you felt that day? It must not have begun so terribly?"

"It actually started very well Doctor. I had been to the med center before work and had found out I was pregnant. It was very joyful news and I couldn't wait to share it with my friends."

"But not share the news with the father?"

"I knew I'd be seeing the father that evening; that would be when I'd tell him. But I was just bursting with excitement I had to tell Sammy and Vanessa."

"That would be Cmdr. Porter and Cmdr. Leeds?"

"Yes Doctor. We've been together almost since basic training. There was no way I wasn't going to tell them. The problem was making sure they kept a lid on that news until after I told Ben."

Dr. Petrov chuckled at that thought, having heard more than a few tales of the Trio. "I take it this Ben is the father? And would that be Cmdr. Dixon by any chance?"

"Are you psychic?" Kim asks with a small laugh.

"No my dear, I am just remembering all of you from the medal ceremony the other day. That and it is my job to pay attention to things and details. So it sounds like the day started out fine for you. What happened later?"

"Well…there was the news of Adm. Hayes. Granted she was only Captain then, but she had been given command of the SDF-2, which I had to immediately call Ben about. Then there wasn't really anything else happening until Khyron started his attack. I still don't know how he got into firing range without the radar spotting him, but Vanessa thought that based on the heading he was on, Khyron used the hills to the southwest of the city as cover. Sammy got all available fighters scrambled as soon as possible, but we were still caught by surprise. His first shots fell on the officers' housing instead of at the two battle fortresses, probably because the hills, while giving him cover, affected his aiming points. For all we know he could have been firing those first salvos blind as a tactic to confuse us as to his real target."

"That must have been scary. I know I would have been frightened."

"It actually wasn't since we were all focused on doing our jobs. Those of us on the SDF-2 were preparing to get underway; we wouldn't be able aim our main gun at Khyron's ship without being airborne. I don't know if Khyron recognized the threat we presented or we were just the easier target, but he fired his main gun at the SDF-2 first. We were a sitting duck at that point and his gunner was a really good shot; all our propulsion and weapons systems were taken out. The damage was so extensive we had to abandon ship."

"Yet that did not take you yourself out of the fight. I am thinking someone had the idea to try the SDF-1?"

"Capt. Hayes had returned from Capt. Hunter's house soon after the first salvo landed…"

"Wait…you are saying Capt. Hayes was seeing Captain Hunter?" Dr. Petrov asked in a surprised tone, remembering having to deal with those two officers recently. (2)

"She had definitely gone to tell him about her assignment; I don't know anything else beyond that and believe me, I tried to find out. Anyway…after she had given the order to abandon ship, Lisa came up with the idea to head to the SDF-1. We weren't sure if it would get off the ground, but Lisa knew the main gun there was still functional. It turns out Cmdr. Grant and Adm. Gloval had beaten us there so all the main systems were already powering up. I was able to get us airborne and we were able to get a shot off with our main gun. Unfortunately, we only had power for one shot and that one shot also drained any power for propulsion as well. We were sitting ducks again, but at least we struck back that second time."

"Is this when you started becoming frightened?"

"Not so much even then. In the military, even those of us who aren't in as dangerous a job as the fighter pilots, you realize that any mission could be your last. It wasn't until we noticed that Khyron had put his crippled ship on a collision course with the SDF-1 and we had no way to maneuver that any of us on the bridge started to worry. Even then we tried to calmly evacuate. Adm. Gloval had Capt. Hayes take the first escape pod. Unfortunately for the rest of us, that was the only one still functioning on the bridge deck."

"Was it difficult facing death at that point?"

Kim sat thinking for a bit before answering that last question. "I can't say I was happy about the prospect of dying, but I was with Sammy and Vanessa. Since the three of us were together, I believe facing death was easier than if I were alone."

"I am amazed you were able to remain so strong after everything that had happened to that point in the battle." Dr. Petrov sees Kim react to that statement. Kim's expression took on a very sad look. _Or possibly regret? You definitely should follow up on that Irina. _"But we haven't gotten to the worst part, have we."

Kim replies in a soft sad voice, "No doctor, we haven't. Even though we were out of commission, we could still hear all the pilots' chatter on the TACNET. I heard everything of what Ben was going to do to try and knock Khyron's cruiser off course." Kim appears about to stop, but Dr. Petrov nods to gently encourage her to continue. "I got so horrified that he would even think about trying what was more or less a suicide move. I lost it. I was so afraid of losing him that I started yelling and screaming for him to stop, just hoping he might hear me over the communications channel. I was so upset at the thought of him dying that I turned into a blathering idiot. I saw his fighter explode into the side of that battle cruiser doctor. Can you imagine seeing what you believe is the death of the love of your life?"

"His close call is what keeps you awake at night?"

"No it's not doc. You would think it would be, but I guess I was able to get it all out of my system when Ben found me after the battle. I saw the fireball of his crash but never saw his ejector seat clear his plane. I thought I was imagining things when he first came up to me, I was still so dazed. Then when I realized it really was him and he was still alive I just let him have it, physically and verbally. All the feeling about him and what I thought was his death just came rushing out and I just screamed at him and punched him and screamed some more and hit him some more until finally all I could do was cry. Everything just came out in a torrent of emotion. I felt so drained after that. I would have stumbled around like a zombie after that if Ben didn't propose to me right then and there. It's like that gave me a new purpose for living."

"You poor dear; so what in god's name are you having nightmares about?"

"What happened after Ben's plane crashed. That's what's in my nightmares."

Dr. Petrov couldn't comprehend that there could possibly be more to the story as Cmdr. Young had told her so much already today. Irina was very amazed how much Kim had talked about this session. Usually someone complaining about nightmares need to be coaxed or cajoled to reveal even a small smidgeon of what was bothering them. Yet here was Kim telling a long drawn out story about the experiences of that fateful day. _She is still going true to typical form though, _Dr. Petrov realized, _she still has not told me directly what is in her nightmares. We have not even gotten to that part of her story. _Looking up at the wall clock mounted behind where her patients would sit, Irina notices that Kim has been talking for nearly an hour. _I really do not like having sessions go longer than an hour; it's not helpful to the patient. But I can't leave things hanging at this point. I need to see if I can get Kim to elaborate at least a small little bit on her nightmares. We can get into more detail tomorrow. _"Miss Young, does what happened after your fiancé's plane rammed Khyron's cruiser have to deal with what happened to your crewmates?" It was a desperate gamble to ask this question: it could get the necessary information, or it could cause the patient to shut down entirely.

Miraculously, Kim nods. "I keep dreaming about Claudia and Adm. Gloval and how…" her voice trails off.

"And how they died?" finishes Dr. Petrov.

Kim nods her head vigorously, tears forming in her eyes. Dr. Petrov knew it was time to end the session now, she wouldn't be getting anything else useful from Kim today. "I know it must have been stressful to have to relive the events of that day again Miss Young and I can see you are becoming overwhelmed. We should end for today, although I think you should return tomorrow, so we can continue talking about…after the crash."

"Thank you Doctor. It did start getting overwhelming." Kim looks extremely tired and downtrodden. "Will you be able to help me?" Kim asks between sniffles.

"My dear, I am sure I can help you, as long as you are willing to talk to me as you have today. We will be discussing some topics that will most likely be emotionally raw, but it is necessary we do talk about them."

Kim nods again, a little more confidently. "I can come back tomorrow. What time?"

"See my assistant on the way out and ask for the earliest possible appointment. Do not worry Miss Young, you are not…how you say…cracking up." Dr. Petrov tells her in her most reassuring voice. _You will have some work to do with this one Irina, but at least she is helpable. She is a strong person and I can see why my dear friend Henry would have wanted her for a bridge officer._

* * *

_Appointment notes: Tuesday, January 18, 2013._

_Patient: Young, Lt. Cmdr. Kimberly_

_Cmdr. Young was very willing to talk about a very trying day in her life today. I believe that will go a long way toward letting me help her. Unfortunately, that willingness to talk (possibly ingrained from her being part of the so-called Terrible Trio) could potentially make this a long drawn out process, as I search through everything the Cmdr. is telling me for the exact information that will allow me to help her in the best way. Today was a perfect example: I did not get the necessary clue to her condition until the session was almost over._

_Ah, but what a clue it was. I am extremely confident that Cmdr. Young is suffering from "Survivor's Guilt" and that I can help this woman, provided I can uncover more of the correct clues._

* * *

Author's notes:

(1) Dr. Petrov appears courtesy of dwparsnip.

(2) In the story _For Freud Sake! Who Needs A Shrink!_ by dwparsnip. It's not really in the same AU as my story, but it is a good read nonetheless.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Basket Case_ by Green Day


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Into the heart of darkness: Kim sinks deeper into her problem.

* * *

**Chapter 21 – I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind.**

Thunder boomed and echoed through the gloomy, windowless hallway. Kim slowly staggered along feeling her way in the pitch black darkness on this stormy night. The hall seemed endless and she couldn't feel a door anywhere along its length. She shuffled forward, afraid to lift either of her feet in case she missed an obstacle. There had to be a door or window somewhere; a breeze was causing her nightgown to billow. It struck Kim as strange to be wearing a nightgown in this place. It felt like it was somewhere on the base so why didn't she have a uniform on? Sweat dripped down her forehead but her body felt chilled to the bone.

The breeze became stronger, making it harder to continue forward, as if it were actively blocking her. Kim leaned into the wind and continued shuffling forward. She knew backwards wasn't an option; only forward offered hope of life. Gusts threatened to drive her back, but Kim still trudged forward, the only direction for escape, feeling her way along in the endless gloom. Suddenly the path came to an abrupt end. Kim ran her hands in front of her to determine it was a door of some sort, but she could not find a knob, handle, or other activation mechanism. She leaned her head on the door panel and beat it with her fist as she started sobbing. Why was she trapped? Why was there a dead end here now? She leaned against the door panel in despair for a few moments before it snapped open without warning, causing Kim to tumble into the area beyond, sprawling on her huge belly. _That's odd…I shouldn't be showing that much at only four months pregnant._

Kim shakes her head and slowly gets to a sitting position. She felt nothing injured so she took a moment to examine her new surroundings. Lightning flashed followed closely by a loud clap of thunder. Where ever she was now had windows. A second flash of lightning, striking further away, confirm her deduction. Her eyes tried adjusting to the new level of light in this place, but each new lightning strike blinded her a bit. Kim tried not to look out where she thought the windows were, but something kept drawing her attention. A few minutes later, she knew why, as a lightning flash revealed a silhouette of a person that wasn't there a moment ago. The next flash revealed them closer and another illuminated them a mere couple of feet away from where Kim was on the floor. It was Sammy, but she was in a hospital gown instead of her uniform and a gash on her head was bleeding profusely.

"Why Kim? Why couldn't you stay calm on the bridge?"

"What are you talking about Sammy?" Kim asks horrified.

"Why did you lose it when you saw Ben was going to crash? I wouldn't have gotten a concussion if you didn't get all out of control."

""That's not how it happened Sammy!" Kim blurts out in protest.

"You failed to keep your composure and a fellow officer got injured because of it." Sammy says in a soft but accusing voice.

"No…no…you were OK. You got hurt because we crashed. We had no helm control; there was no way to land gently." Kim answers, a few sobs beginning to escape her mouth. "It wasn't… my … fault." Kim's voice trails off as she realizes that Sammy has disappeared as suddenly as she appeared.

Three lightning bolts flood the room like it was daytime. Not just any room. The bridge of the SDF-1. It was shrouded in cobwebs and there were only jagged stubs of glass left in the window frames. Work stations were bent and twisted and chairs ripped out of their floor mounts. As she got herself up off the floor, Kim wondered out loud if this was the kind of view the rescue teams saw when they first reached the bridge after the crash.

"I don't think it was quite this gloomy." spoke a voice to her left with a thick Russian accent. Kim spins to face the voice and sees Adm. Gloval sitting in his command chair like he had on so many missions in the past. The chunk of glass was gone from his neck but the streaks of blood still stained his uniform tunic and his visage was paler than she could have imagined. "But such things are hard to discern when you are dying." His voice had a sepulcher like quality to it.

"But Admiral, you yourself said you couldn't be saved."

"And that meant you shouldn't try?" he boomed.

"There was nothing to use as a compress to stop the bleeding sir." Kim could not believe he was accusing her of failing him.

"You did not think on your own to use your jacket to press against the wound? Am I to order and tell you to do every little thing? If you thought for yourself and tried thinking outside the proverbial box you might have kept me alive long enough for the rescuers to reach us." His tone was accusing, his expression dark.

"So you lied to me?" Kim snapped back, her anger rising, "You really weren't mortally wounded? It looked like you died pretty quickly to me."

"What would you know of death…you never even received a scratch." his voice radiating quiet veracity. Kim winced at the truth of what he said.

"What would you have had me do? I wasn't a medic."

"Improvise. You ladies were always good at that."

"For battles and tactics, sure, but for that situation we were in? I don't think anyone would have known."

"That did not excuse you from trying" the last accusation faded out with his image as the scent of burning pipe tobacco lingered.

Kim sank to the floor, her back against the flight control station, her body shaking with fear and sadness, sobs barely being held back. She couldn't believe that there was anything she could have done to save the Admiral, but a kernel of doubt nagged at her again. Dwelling on the past wouldn't help her get out of this situation, not that Kim even knew how she had gotten here in the first place. Debris, shattered view screens and pieces of broken glass littered the bridge. You almost couldn't see the floor through all the glass shards.

"Woulda been a lot more on the floor there if it wasn't for me." Kim's head whipped straight up at the sound of that voice, coming face to face with Claudia. "Can't say I really wanted to find out how a pincushion felt though."

"I'm sorry Claudia." was all Kim could manage to say, lost in emotion as she was.

"Sorry? Sorry ain't gonna cut it deary. You were so out of it I couldn't get you down on the floor to take cover and I certainly wasn't going to leave you standing there alone. You didn't have one single piece of glass hit you, did you know that, and it was all because I blocked every single piece that could have possibly hit you." Claudia's voice had an angry tone, with overtones of…disappointment.

"You think it was easy Claudia? How would you have reacted if it was Roy you saw going up in a fireball? Huh? Would you have reacted any differently if Roy was the one making that suicide dive?"

"I guess it doesn't matter since I ended up here." A lightning flash blinded Kim and when her retinas recovered they were no longer on the bridge but in a cemetery standing next to an open grave. "I didn't even have a chance to duck because of you. I might as well have strapped myself to a support pillar the way you were so stiff and unresponsive. Or better yet, hid behind that pillar. Woulda been interesting to see how you would have handled that." Claudia's voice had an ironic tone to it, her face a smirk. Suddenly small glass shards began to push out of Kim's skin, causing a flare of intense pain throughout her body. She sank to her knees, almost passing out from the pain. "Just what I figured." whispered Claudia's mocking voice. "Everybody thinks you were just so strong, maybe stronger than the old Ice Queen. But I know better than they do, don't I. You couldn't keep it together when we needed you most and I'm dead because of it." Claudia's voice boomed out with the last five words, adding an evil emphasis to their finality. And she disappeared with the fading echoes of her accusation.

Alone again, but left by the open grave, Kim looks at her hands and arms and sees the glass shards have disappeared too. She didn't know what they all expected from her. Did the others really think that things would have ended differently if she hadn't gone through the shock of thinking she lost Ben? Kim tried to keep convincing herself otherwise but the seed of doubt kept growing. It was her fault Claudia was dead, all because she couldn't keep her wits about her. Kim started sobbing hard, _I'm such a failure, _is the only thought ricocheting through her mind.

"Yes my pretty thing," boomed an oversized voice, "You even failed at dying." Kim gasped as a gigantic hand closed around her and lifted her up. A Zentraedi had her! "Legions of soldiers had called me 'The Destroyer' but in the end I could not destroy that cursed battle fortress. You Micronians bested me yet again." Kim looked at the large alien's face; it was quite handsome, at least where it wasn't ravaged by fire and radiation. _This must be Khyron, _thought a panicked Kim, _is he going to try and crush me? _"I suppose I should be happy that it wasn't that accursed Skull 1 or his blue trimmed side-kick that brought me down. No, it had to be your boyfriend of all people, the one nobody seems to think will amount to anything and who stills pulls the proverbial rabbit out of his hat. For that alone I should crush you, to take my revenge on your precious Benjamin." Kim stares at what is left of Khyron's face and sees the malice in his gaze. "I can't for the life of me understand what he would see in a loser like you. He gets stronger under pressure and you wilt like a water starved plant. I wonder if he's only marrying you because he…what do you Micronians say…'knocked you up'?" An evil maniacal cackle erupts from his throat, sending chills down Kim's spine. "No my pretty little thing, killing you would be too easy. I'm going to drag you hell with me, which is where you would have ended up if your boyfriend hadn't meddled." Khyron begins to sink through the mouth of the open grave, slowly bringing Kim with him. As his hand passes through the opening of the grave, Kim closes her eyes, claws at the edge of the dirt and lets out a horrifying scream.

* * *

When she opens her eyes again, Kim is back in her living room with her butt on the floor in front of the couch, her hands frantically grabbing at one of the cushions, the echo of her scream fading away. "Ben?" she calls out, before remembering she was trying to stay awake until Ben got home. He had gone to his parent's house to talk with them about the evacuation to Monument City. _He's still at their house?_ Kim looks at the clock and realizes it isn't even 10pm yet. She had fallen asleep on the couch waiting, a testament to how tired she was and how little sleep she's been getting the last few weeks. And the nightmare came again; it was almost getting to be clockwork. Kim holds her knees to her chest and rocks back and forth on the floor. _This was the worst one yet. I hope Dr. Petrov can do something. I'm actually afraid to go to sleep now, afraid of what I might dream again, afraid that I really am that useless and pathetic. _She begins sobbing, knowing that she's been a disappointment to everyone. Ben walks in to see Kim sitting on the floor crying and rushes over to her full of worry. "You OK baby?"

"I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you." she says meekly. It tells Ben volumes. _Kim had the nightmare again. It's always like this after she has that dream._ "You better tell Dr. Petrov all about it tomorrow Kim. She needs to know all about this to be able to help you." Ben helps her off the floor and guides her to the bedroom. _At least she'll be more comfortable in there._ He helps her to get comfortable in bed and lies down with her, holding her in his arms, trying to lend her strength, worried that there isn't more he can do for her.

* * *

Kim looked like hell when morning slowly came; dark circles highlighted her eyes and her overall attitude was one of listlessness. After the nightmare on the couch, she didn't dare fall asleep again. She didn't think she could handle dealing with the nightmare twice in one night. Ben was so concerned he went with her to Dr. Petrov's office. Kim had the first appointment of the day and Ben wasn't scheduled for flight operations until this afternoon; he'd be able to wait until her appointment was over.

Having Ben in the waiting room made Kim a bit more comfortable than being at the appointment alone and she was too tired to be as nervous as she was for yesterday's appointment. Kim went and sat straight away in the big leather chair facing Dr. Petrov's desk and waited. Irina entered her office and noticed Kim's posture in the chair: head down, shoulders slumped, hands clasped in her lap. Kim definitely had a bad night last night. "Good morning Miss Young. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Not so good Dr. Petrov. I had that nightmare again last night and it was worse than any of the other times it occurred."

"Well, I believe that was what I was hoping to talk to you about this morning, so why don't you tell me what happened during your dream Miss Young."

Kim started from what she believed was the beginning of the dream, the trek down the dark hallway, and left nothing out when relating things to Dr. Petrov. Irina noticed that all of the people in the dream were blaming Kim for either their injuries or their death. _That is very common for people with Kim's condition._ And each one of them also seemed to be reinforcing feelings and doubts Kim must have been having herself in the waking world. _Again, Kim does not know why she alone of the five people on the bridge in the last fateful moments was not injured. The nightmares are her subconscious trying to find answers to that question. _Checking over her notes, Dr. Petrov begins to ask Kim the questions she hoped would help the young officer begin to cope.

"Miss Young, do you take the people in your dreams seriously? Meaning, do you believe them when they say something that is insulting and denigrating to you?"

"Do you mean when Khyron was calling me a loser?"

"That would be one example my dear."

"Just by itself that wouldn't have bothered me, but coming right at the end of the dream after three people that had been my friends blaming me for everything that happened that day…well, it starts worming its way into your mind. I absolutely felt like the biggest loser on the planet by that point. His big purple finger just made the pointing more obvious. And I feel really ashamed that an alien in my dreams has gotten me to worry whether my fiancé truly loves me or is only feeling obligated to marry me." Irina could see the young woman was close to tears just thinking that Cmdr. Dixon might not really love her.

"And yet when you were telling me about Ben yesterday, I remember hearing you say that he already had an engagement ring with him when he found you after the battle. Does that sound like a man who is only going through with things to 'do the right thing' by you? NO! That young man is clearly head over heels in love with you. He had that ring purchased before he even knew you were pregnant my dear. That tells me more than anything he is not marrying you out of obligation. He is marrying you out of love. And would he be here this morning sitting in the waiting room if he didn't love you?"

"Seems almost silly to doubt him now."

"Yes, but that is something that can happen after the traumatic experience you had to deal with. You lived and your friends died. Sometimes our minds go search for an answer that isn't there. You ask yourself 'Why me?' and sometimes the answer is only 'Plain, dumb luck'. There are many things that day you had no control over Miss Young regardless of what you think your dreams are trying to tell you."

"No control? Does that include my emotions?"

"Absolutley! You reacted the way you did because of who you are! I doubt you would have reacted the same way if it was a pilot you did not know trying that 'suicide dive' as you called it yesterday. You reacted how you did because you have a deep connection to Benjamin. We all like to believe that emotions are something that can be controlled like a light bulb, switching them on or off as we need or want them, but the truth is our emotions tend to control us. Even the vaunted Captain Hunter, from what I have heard, let his emotions take over during that last battle."

"But why do I feel like Claudia and the Admiral wouldn't have died if I wasn't so distraught?"

"It is all too natural for a person to play the 'What if…' game. But you cannot keep dwelling in the past like that. As much as it hurts for them to be gone you still need to move forward with your own life. I can tell you that there were more than a couple of times that Henry came back from a particularly tough battle and sat there second guessing his actions. He constantly worried that a ship would not have gotten sunk or damaged or that men under his command would not have gotten killed if he had made a different decision. Feeling how you do now after what had happened to you is acceptable; letting what had happened control you is not."

"I can't help it; I miss both of them so much. It was like losing members of my family."

"It is okay to grieve Miss Young. I would be more worried for you if you were not grieving for them. But don't wallow in their deaths; celebrate their lives."

"I'll try Dr. Petrov. It really was like Adm. Gloval was like an uncle to us younger bridge officers and Cmdr Grant was like an older sister or an aunt. After Dolza's holocaust a couple of years ago, it seemed as if those of us serving on the SDF-1 were all that was left FOR family. Many of us had members of our biological families wiped out in that attack. It was almost natural for the people we worked with to assume the role of family after that."

"Yes, it is amazing how we humans can cope with tragedy. And that is all I am trying to help you do here Miss Young: help you cope. We still have some time this morning; why don't you tell me a happy memory about Claudia. Tomorrow you can come back and tell me a happy memory you have about Henry." Irina saw Kim's expression brighten at that thought.

"Okay Dr. Petrov. One really fond memory was a few years ago when Claudia, Sammy, Vanessa, and I went to help Miriya pick out her wedding dress. I don't know how Claudia ever put up with us, but it wouldn't have been as enjoyable an experience without her." Irina could see a weight lifting off Kim's shoulders as she told every detail of that day in the dress shop (1) and could tell this was very therapeutic for the young woman. Irina let a small smile cross her mouth.

* * *

Ben looks up as the door to Dr. Petrov's office opens and Kim and the doctor exit together. "This was a really good session Miss Young. See my assistant to schedule something for tomorrow; whatever time fits your schedule best." As Kim goes over to the reception desk, Irina moves over to talk to Ben.

"Is everything really OK with her Doc?"

Irina sees a very worried look on Ben's face. "Yes Cmdr. Dixon. I have just come to tell you that the best thing she needs to heal from this experience is all the love and support you can give her and that her friends can give her. She had a rough day during that battle and will need time to work through things." (2)

"Thanks Doc, I'll do whatever I can to make sure Kim gets better."

"All set sweetie. I'm going to head over to the Main medical center to see Sammy. I think she's almost well enough to get released." Kim says upon returning from the reception desk.

"OK baby. That'll be good for you to see her. I only have a short patrol scheduled, so I should be able to meet you for dinner."

"Goodbye Dr. Petrov, I'll see you early tomorrow afternoon." Kim waves to Irina as she and Ben leave the reception area.

"Very good Cmdr Young; until tomorrow then."

* * *

_Appointment notes: Wednesday, January 19, 2013_

_Patient: Young, Lt. Cmdr. Kimberly_

_Today Cmdr Young was able to talk directly about the nightmare that has been plaguing her the past few weeks. Every detail she told me from that dream reinforced my original diagnosis of her suffering from "Survivor's Guilt". She had been dwelling too much on the self doubt; now I must work on getting her to focus on the positives in her life. The biggest help will be that her fiancé, Cmdr Ben Dixon, is very supportive and very much in love with her (that was one of the self doubts!), and that the rest of her friends, the other two members of the terrible Trio, are also present to help her get through this. _

_That will be the very most important key to helping Cmdr Young: making sure she has a loving and supportive environment in which to grieve and to heal. Her healing will not happen overnight, but I will be very surprised if it does not happen. There will be a chance to work more tomorrow on having Cmdr Young focus on the positives in her life._

* * *

As Ben walks over to the Blue squadron offices, Kim hails a taxi at the main gate of the base. _Ben's right, it really will be good to see Sammy today._ The taxi drops her off at the front doors to the med center and she begins the walk up to Sammy's room, lost in thought about her sessions with Dr. Petrov to the point that when Kim gets to Sammy's room she almost doesn't notice that her friend is out of bed. "Wow, you are so out of it Kim. People might start think you were the one who had a concussion."

Kim snaps out of her thought induced daze and looks at the small blond. "Sorry Sammy. Just had a lot on my mind lately. Hey, you're looking really good today! That mean the doctors are going to spring you?"

"I'm hoping, but I have to wait for the attending to stop by and give one last once over." The frustration is very evident in Sammy's voice; she is ready to get back to her own home.

"I'm sorry you've been stuck in here so long. It really feels like it's been my fault you're even in the hospital in the first place."

"What the heck are you talking about Kim?"

"I've been having nightmares a lot lately and, well, you've been in them. And you, or the you in my dreams anyway, keeps saying it was my fault you got a concussion, because I froze up when Ben's fighter crashed. I've been seeing a counselor since yesterday because of the nightmares and it's gotten me thinking a lot about that whole day."

"Kim…" Sammy hesitantly starts, "there was no way you were responsible for what happened to me. I got a concussion because even though I had myself braced for the impact I still lost my grip when the SDF-1 splashed back down in the lake. With my grip broken, the force of the impact flung me up into one of the control panels. That's how I hit my head and that's what would have happened even if you weren't even on the bridge with us."

"I still feel bad you were hurt."

"I know Kim, but you should be happy I'm still here and still alive. If you hadn't recognized I had a concussion before the rescue team made it to the bridge I might not have survived." Sammy reaches out and takes her friend's hand, "I'm still here because of the first aid you were able to render. Don't ever forget I owe you my life."

Tears glisten in Kim's eyes. "I had forgotten Sammy. Everything after landing back down in the lake is just a blurry daze. I was just trying to keep focused on simple tasks to keep from going crazy with grief."

"Don't worry about it, besides, the only thing I would haunt your dreams about would be you not having me as one of your brides maids." The two friends share a laugh and a hug at that thought and settle into some less serious conversation.

"So Sammy, are you going to keep you hair short now?" Kim sees that Sammy's hair is growing fast and is already styled into a bob.

"I don't know. This shorter 'doo certainly makes me look older. That might be an advantage in the future."

Kim smirks at her boy-crazy friend, "It does look good on you, even if you wouldn't have chosen that style for yourself."

"It'll be the style I have to deal with for your wedding, so I can get used to it." Sammy said with mock indignation.

"You better get used to it. You're not supposed to look prettier than me anyway on that day."

Kim had a satisfied smile. With both Sammy and Vanessa being injured, they hadn't been spending as much time together and Kim really missed their banter. "I hope that doctor gets here soon. I've missed being able to talk to you." The smile on Sammy's face lets Kim known her friend feels the same, but before she can respond verbally, the attending physician comes into the room, like a birthday wish coming true.

* * *

Author's notes:

As before, Dr. Irina Petrov appears courtesy of dwparsnip.

(1) A happy Claudia story recounted in Chapter 8 of this fic.

(2) Survivor's guilt (or Survivor's Syndrome) was once its own diagnosis but is now considered to be a manifestation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Crazy_ by Gnarls Barkley.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Duty takes Ben away from Kim during a critical time in her treatment.

* * *

**Chapter 22 – You're so close but still a world away**

Kim tossed and turned in fitful sleep that night, her emotions still raw from that morning's session with Dr. Petrov. Soon she was wandering down the endless hallway again, another repetition and another sleepless night. Except tonight was a little different; as Kim was stumbling through the pitch black corridor, she felt a warmth in her hand that had not been there in any of the other iterations of this dream. Looking down, Kim notices a glow in her left hand where her engagement ring was, almost as if the gemstone in the ring was the source. She makes a fist and gingerly holds her hand in front of her; moves that flood the hallway in front of her with a bright light the brilliance of noontime on a cloudless day, the ring on her finger a spot of blinding argent. It would be easier to travel the corridor now; her breathing slows and steadies in the waking world.

It was a good thing Kim would not wake up screaming this morning as Ben had a very early patrol. In the pilots' ready room before dawn he went over the last minute details of the various patrol flights that his squadron would be sent out on. HQ was very concerned with the road between New Macross and Monument City; some private businesses had started moving their assets almost as soon as the New Macross mayor had finished his announcement of the evacuation of the city a few days ago. The RDF was the only force that would be able to patrol from the air, so several different flights would be covering the main road, staggered to provide maximum coverage. Although the great majority of the Zentraedi on earth were seeking to be micronized in the aftermath of Khyron's assault, there were rumors of a few who would not voluntarily shrink and who had descended into banditry. _That's another reason we need to cover the civilians' bacon,_ thought Ben, his farmer's heritage coming through. If any of the Zentraedi bandits decided the route between the two cities was now an area of good pickings, the Veritech squadrons would be the only forces that could handle them.

When all of his pilots have taken their seats, Ben begins the pre-flight briefing. "Okay you guys, squads will be heading out in thirty minute intervals. Cmdr. Turner and I will be leading the first two flights out, followed by each squad group after. Remember, we need to hold to the thirty minutes or there will be a gap in patrol coverage along the highway to Monument City."

"Sir…anything unusual we should expect?" asked Mark Carter, one of the more senior Lieutenants.

"No Carter, there's no specific intelligence on threats. The whole reason we're flying tight coverage on the road is because we have zero intelligence on potential threats."

"So this may be strictly precautionary."

"That's a great way to look at it Carter," Ben says with a supportive tone, "The brass want to make sure there are no issues with the move, especially with the first civilian residences getting packed up onto RDF trucks tomorrow. Companies in private industry have already begun their relocations, so we want no problems that could derail the exodus. I can't stress again how quickly the radiation situation could change here in New Macross, so the sooner we get the civilians safely out of here the better."

"Alright you mugs, listen up," XO Turner barks out, "Artis and Barclay, you two are with the Skipper today. Jennings and Porter are with me. Carter will lead the third squad with…."

After all the assignments were detailed and the pilots had no further questions, the squadron was dismissed and made its way to the flight line in the growing light of dawn. Ben carried his helmet like a football and walked purposefully toward his Veritech. The ground crew members salute on his arrival and the lead crewman gives a quick status report on the plane. Ben returns the salute, dons his helmet, and climbs into the cockpit to begin the start-up checklist. Once all status lights were green, he begins to taxi toward the runway, followed soon after by Corporals Artis and Barclay in their Veritechs."

"Blue Leader to Control, Blue Flight 1 requesting permission to take off."

"Roger Blue Leader, take off at your convenience on Runway 4. Blue Flight 2 led by Blue 2 is scheduled to take off in thirty minutes, so I suggest you don't dawdle."

"Roger Control. Completing taxi to Runway 4 and initiating take-off roll."

"Roger that Blue Leader. Happy hunting."

Ben makes the final turn onto the designated runway, stops to make one final check of the control surfaces, and then pushes the throttles to full afterburner. The fighter rolls gradually faster and Ben yanks back on the stick when the proper flight airspeed had been reached. He keeps the Veritech in a steep climb to 10,000 kilometers altitude before leveling off and reducing thrust to cruising speed and sets his heading for the first leg of the patrol. A few moments later and his wingmen join up with him.

* * *

As Ben is climbing into the sky, Kim is beginning to wake up from the first sound sleep she's had since the fateful day of the attack. She hadn't had the whole dream last night, but Dr. Petrov would certainly want to know about the portion she did experience, especially since it was different from past times. Kim felt very lucky to not have anything to do until her appointment this afternoon. After Kim had first spoken to Dr. Grant the good doctor had seen fit to put Kim on medical leave until this problem was fixed because the sleep deprivation caused by the nightmares was seriously affecting her work in flight control. Jean was able to get the leave approved because of the sleep deprivation issue, so resuming duties once Dr. Petrov had "worked her magic", as the CMO liked to say, would not be a problem for Kim. She was going to miss Ben coming with her to the doctor's office but she realized that his patrol today was very important, possibly more important than any he had made when the RDF was on a war footing.

Sitting with a cup of coffee after showering, Kim reflects on everything that had happened yesterday, paying special attention to the time she was with Sammy. She was so happy her friend finally got released for the hospital, although Sammy would still need to recover at home for a few more weeks. The RDF was always extra cautious when head injuries were involved and being in an induced coma for the first two weeks of recovery was another reason Dr. Grant and her staff would take their time evaluating Sammy. At least her friend was in her own bed last night and Kim and Vanessa were both close by if Sammy ran into problems. Vanessa was doing well too. Her cast would be coming off for good in a few days, so all three of them were finally healing from their injuries. Taking another sip of her beverage, Kim continues to reflect on all the possibilities for the future.

* * *

Focusing on the present, Ben scans the ground below him, looking for anything out of the ordinary on or around the road running between New Macross City and Monument City. It was Blue squadron's duty, on today's patrol, to guard the vital artery and see to the safety of travelers during the exodus from New Macross. Most of what had been traveling since the announcement of the evacuation had been the commercial trucks of a dozen companies. Most of the highway went through open desert, but there were a couple of sections that snaked through some canyon land, the perfect areas for ambushes. The first of those areas was clear, the traffic moving normally, but they were coming up on the next section of side canyons.

"Blue Leader, this is Blue 14. I think I see some smoke on the horizon."

"Roger that Blue 14. Let's head lower to check it out. We'll take it down to 3000 kilometers and hit the afterburners." As Ben notifies Control about their change in flight plans, a pit begins to form in Ben's stomach: the smoke was coming from the next section of canyons. As the flight nears the area, the smoke becomes more obvious, a thick, black, oily cloud slowly rising into the sky on this windless day. Ben soon started seeing wreckage amid the smoke; things looked messier than some of the battles he had been in.

"Control, this is Blue Leader. I'm starting to see several damaged vehicles on the highway to Monument. Many burning wrecks. Request permission to investigate from the ground."

"Roger Blue Leader. Proceed with caution. Blue 2 flight will be notified to provide back-up."

"Roger Control. Hitting the deck for a peek." Over the plane-to-plane (P2P) channel Ben notifies his wingmen of the plan, "Artis, you take the canyon tops to the right. Barclay, you take the tops on the left. I'll check out the road itself. Battloid mode when we touch down and keep your eyes and sensors peeled for clues and survivors."

At 500 meters the three pilots shift their planes to Guardian mode and smoothly shift to Battloid mode when less than 100 meters above the ground, the feet of the now robot-like vehicles gently landing on the dusty soil. Ben begins walking the Battloid along the pavement of the highway, pausing briefly to check each of the wrecks he comes upon. He sees a few dead bodies in some of the ruined trucks, probably the drivers, but no survivors yet. The whole line flowing down the road looked like it might have been a convoy of commercial transports. It would take a little more walking to confirm his idea, but Ben would bet a big chunk of change that all the trucks belonged to the same company and were transporting something fairly valuable. Zooming in the scanners on his Battloid, Ben notices some linear scorch marks on some of the trucks, possibly from laser blasts.

"Hey Boss, I think I've got something." Cpl Artis rings out over the P2P channel.

"Patch your video feed to me so I can see too."

"Roger that."

The image on Ben's left monitor changes from Artis' face to the scanner feed from the corporal's Battloid. In the center of the picture were mounds that could be vehicle tracks. "Zoom in a little more there."

"Sure Boss."

The images changes and sharpens. It was definitely a portion of a track, one from a Regault battle pod. "Keep a sharp eye out there Corporal. That's a battle pod track for sure, and we don't know if any of them are still in the area. Barclay! Check your side of the road for battle pod tracks. I want to know what kind of an ambush these guys set up." He gets quick responses from his subordinates and starts to give HQ an update.

"Control, this is Blue Leader. We have discovered evidence of an attack by Zentraedi battle pods at our current coordinates. No evidence of survivors at this time."

'Roger Blue Leader. Blue 2 flight is 10 minutes ETA to your position. Expand your search radius when they arrive."

"Copy that Control, Blue Leader out." Ben continues the grim task of collecting evidence and waits for Turner to arrive. The next step in the search will be planned after his flight touches down.

* * *

Kim had no idea of Ben's troubles when she walked in to the office of Dr. Irina Petrov that afternoon. All she knew was that this was the most awake and alert she had felt in several days. She wandered around Dr. Petrov's office, glancing at the mementos and curios on the counselor's bookshelves. It was a noticeable difference easily spotted by Irina as she entered her office.

"Good morning Cmdr. Young. What a difference a day makes, yes?"

"Good morning Dr. Petrov. It does feel good to be rested for a change."

"So does this mean you did not have the nightmare last night?"

"Not exactly. I did have a portion of the nightmare last night, but it was different than the previous times I had dreamed it. Does that make it a new dream?"

"No my dear, it is not a totally new dream but if there were changes then that could be significant. Why don't you tell me exactly what was different about what you experienced last night?"

Kim relates all the details of the dream, trying to remember everything, not knowing which item would provide the clue that Dr. Petrov would need. The counselor seemed especially interested in anything Kim could tell her about the source of light that was now appearing in Kim's dream. The presence of light meant that at least the portion from last night was no longer a nightmare. It was also curious that only the beginning fragment of the dream had run through Kim's mind; there should have been nothing blocking the rest of it from continuing as it had the previous several nights.

"So you are absolutely sure, Cmdr. Young, that the light was being emitted from the ring on your hand in the dream, the very same ring you are wearing now?"

"Yes Doctor, it was letting a very, very bright white light out. It was too bright to look at directly and it seemed to make all the shadows go away, at least all those in the area of the hallway that I could see. Until I made it to the doorway, it appeared to be infinite darkness beyond where the light from my ring reached and infinite behind me as well."

"About how far out away from you was the light able to shine?"

"I'd estimate about ten feet both in front of me and in back of me. Far enough that nothing should have been able to sneak up on me, if there was anything in the hall with me that is. What do you think that means Doctor?"

"Well, I believe, especially since I'm Jung at heart, that interpreting dreams is a very inexact activity, regardless of what Freud believed. That said I feel the light bursting forth from your engagement ring is a sign that you are finally accepting that Cmdr. Dixon's love for you is real and is making you feel protected. As cliché as it may sound, you believe that he is the light in your life."

"I can accept that interpretation Doctor. But why didn't I dream the rest of the nightmare last night?"

"I think that would be something to explore the rest of our session today Miss Young."

* * *

_Appointment notes: Thursday, January 20, 2013_

_Patient: Young, Lt. Cmdr. Kimberly_

_I am amazed at the improvement in Miss Young just since yesterday's session but I am fearful as well. It seems almost too soon for her to be showing this kind of positive change; however, Miss Young had mentioned that her friend Cmdr. Porter had finally been released from the hospital yesterday. I believe that has had a positive effect on Kim since the Trio has been her primary source of support for the last several years. The variation of her dream we discussed today shows that she now also has the added support of Cmdr. Dixon as well as the support of her close sister-like friends. I have decided to not see her again until Monday morning, although I did give her instructions to call my office if her dream reverted back to the old nightmare. _

_I am having trouble trusting that she is improving so easily and frankly I am expecting at least a small step back, possibly to actually have the missing pieces of the nightmare occur, but I will rejoice with her if she does get better so quickly. Matters of the mind are never cut and dried and each person responds differently to counseling and therapy._

* * *

At the site of the bandit attack, Ben and his XO Pete Turner have decided to split up the search farther away from the destruction and carnage. Ben's flight would take one side of the road and scout towards the northwest while turner's flight would head the opposite direction and scout the other side of the highway. Control had been contacted and the searchers would head out as soon as Carter's third flight arrived to secure the area. The last thing the pilots needed was the bandits popping up out of hiding places and doubling back to ransack the rest of the transport convoy. With the RDF having to worry about perception, that scenario would make this bad situation look even worse to the civilians. Blue squadron was going to have to find some significant leads to keep the brass and the civilian leaders somewhat happy on this one.

"Here comes Carter's flight." Turner voices as he sees three growing specks on the horizon.

"Carter, this is Blue Leader. Touch down in Battloid mode when you arrive and secure the area. Both Turner's flight and mine are going hunting for the skunks that did this."

"Roger that Blue Leader, we are two minutes ETA to your position."

'Okay Pete," Ben directs to his XO, "I'm going to be scouting low with Artis in Guardian mode while Barclay flies high cover for longer range scanning. I'd suggest your flight take a similar formation."

"I agree. Porter, you're down low with me. Jennings, take the high cover and keep your scanners at max range," Turner barks at his subordinates, "Hey Boss, how far out do you want us going before we need to change directions?"

"I guess it depends on which of us sees a definitive trail from the bad guys first. Close by the ambush site there really isn't any clear evidence of which direction the bandits left in. The only tracks we've been able to find in the immediate area are those from the actual skirmish."

Carter and Blue Flight 3 take that moment to land, all three Veritechs touching down gracefully in their towering Battloid mode, the robot forms brandishing their gunpods and looking for action. Ben relays some last minute instructions to the junior officer before the original six Veritechs take to the skies. Three each head in two directions, all searching desperately for a sign of where the perpetrators went. The weather would be making their job much tougher. There was no precipitation but the wind was howling fiercely enough to wipe away all but the deepest of tracks.

"I'm not seeing a damn thing. How about you Artis?"

"Negative Sir. I'm having a hard time figuring out if any of the depressions down there are battle pod tracks or just random holes."

"Barclay! Have you seen anything on the long range scanners?"

"Sorry Boss, but I've gotten no readings anywhere between here and the horizon. I was hoping I'd get a glimpse of dust from the movement of the bandits' mecha, but there's been no sign of anything."

Ben swears under his breath at the reports from his subordinates and mentally slaps his forehead. They had found the tracks in the middle of the canyon area but nobody had thought to see if the bandits had exited the canyon along the road before turning off the highway. He hurriedly puts in a call over the P2P channel to the portion of Blue squadron securing the ambush site.

"Carter, this is Blue Leader. Get a couple of people to search for tracks at the ends of the main canyon area. It's probably something we should have checked before our two groups flew off and it's kind of a hunch, but we've seen no sign of bandit tracks heading northwest and I'm guessing Turner is coming up just as empty handed toward the southeast. We need to check other directions now, before it starts getting dark."

"Roger that Blue Leader. I'll get a couple of teams searching in both directions along the road."

"Artis! Barclay! We're turning around. Fighter mode and full afterburners."

Ben hears the replies of his wingmen, wheels his Veritech around 180 degrees, and, with his wingmen copying his actions, zooms off at full thrust, making a disappointing report to Control. In their combined frustration, none of the pilots notices a glint of sunlight off something metallic in the desert. Something that looked remarkably similar to the sensor array of a battle pod. One more minute heading in their original search direction and they might have gotten a return on their own scanners or possibly a direct visual. If they had continued on for a mere two more minutes they would have gotten close enough to see that it was definitely a sensor array and it was still attached to the battle pod! As it was, the RDF forces left empty handed and the occupant of the battle pod breathed a sigh of relief as he counted the minutes until the Veritechs were off his scanners and he could safely emerge from hiding and travel the rest of the way to the hideout. Having nothing but lasers was fine against an unarmed transport, but with no missiles he would have been seriously overmatched against the Veritechs.

* * *

"I really wish I knew if Ben was coming home tonight" Kim said to her friends.

"We have been a bit out of the loop while we've been recovering."

"At least you two should be going back to work soon. I don't know how long before Dr. Grant decides I'm not concussed anymore."

Although all three women were frustrated, Sammy was most so. Unfortunately, her injury was the most severe of them, at least of the physical injuries, so the RDF medical staff was being extra cautious with her. Vanessa's broken arm was almost completely healed; she was anticipating returning to work about a week after her cast came off for good. If you did not know what the Trio had gone through a couple of months ago, you would have said they were all doing well and that Kim was doing the best. Outward appearances can be deceiving though.

Kim received no physical injuries that day of the SDF-1's final battle, but she was dealing with the after effects just the same, with possibly a more difficult hurt to treat. She was suffering from PTSD, manifesting itself as "survivor's guilt" and though Dr. Petrov was helping immensely, her fear of Kim taking a step back is well founded. Irina had seen this too many times in too many other wars to for her experience to expect otherwise. But Kim is with her friends now and Dr. Petrov believed that would be part of the necessary support network for Kim to truly move forward with this.

"I don't know Sammy. Dr. Petrov has been a great help but I don't think I'm all the way back by any stretch. At least I'm not having the nightmares the way I had been. I couldn't have taken it much longer."

"It was kinda goofy that I was in your nightmare Kim. You know I'd never be like that for real."

"Looking back, I'd say 'Yeah. It was kinda goofy.' But I didn't have the same dream after they released you from the med center, so I have to believe that was just my subconscious being worried about you."

"And I wasn't in the nightmare because I had a less severe injury than Sammy. That makes sense."

"Are sure you didn't get a bump on the head too?"

The three friends laugh, knowing that they are indeed healing, slowly but surely. Finishing their dessert and coffee, they continue to discuss their immediate futures and speculate on what will happen once construction of the SDF-3 has begun. Before Christmas, they would have all taken a spot on it at the drop of a hat, but now, with Kim close to being married, there was no guarantee that the three of them would ever get another posting together in the future. That thought was frightening to all of them; the three friends had literally been together since their days at the Robotech Academy.

Soon it was time for Vanessa and Sammy to each head to their places, although Vanessa promised to host dinner next Thursday once her cast was off. Sending both off with a hug, Kim quickly tidies up before getting ready for bed. It had been another long day and she was still feeling tired. One good night's sleep had been a good start, but Kim would need quite a few more before she was totally caught up on sleep. She hoped she was able to fall asleep quickly but realized in all likelihood that she would toss and turn from worry about Ben. Pulling the covers up around her, Kim drifts off faster than she would have expected, her exhaustion still controlling such things.

_Hope Ben is OK, _her mind comments as she sinks into a dream.

"I wouldn't worry about your boyfriend," a large voice lashes out, "I'd worry about yourself, since he's not here to save you this time." A maniacal cackling echoes through Kim's mind as a large purple skinned hand reaches for her. She screams in her dream as her body stiffens in the waking world.

* * *

Author's notes:

As always, Dr. Irina Petrov appears courtesy of dwparsnip.

Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted, but a new semester has started and looks to be a busy one and my time has begun to get stretched thin. Good thing I had a bunch of drabbles stocked up.

The chapter title is lyrics from _Crazy For You_ by Madonna.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Can Ben and the rest of Blue squadron solve the mystery of the vanishing bandits?

Finally finished the next chapter. Real life has been taking up quite of bit of time this semester, considering I have a job and school.

* * *

**Chapter 23 – I told you I was lost, in the middle of my life**

Ben stood at attention in Admiral Rienhart's office in Monument City. He was summoned for a debriefing as soon as Blue squadron had landed that evening. The Admiral was not chewing him out, but Ben still felt embarrassed. The Zentraedi bandits had gotten away without a trace and he couldn't help feeling that he had failed to find the one clue that would have revealed their location. The one partial footprint from a battle pod and the laser scorch marks on the smoking hulks of the trucks in the convoy were the only evidence there had even been an attacking force. And the missing cargo. It was a civilian commercial shipment and HQ was still trying to find out from the company exactly what had been taken.

"And that, Commander, is when you sent scouting parties to investigate possible trails the bandits had left?"

"Yes, Admiral. In my judgment, since we did not know how much prior to our arrival on the scene the attack had occurred, time was critical. At the time of my decision it looked like there was still a chance we could catch up with the bandits."

"That's how I would have handled it, Admiral," said the CAG's voice over the comm system, "given the same evidence Cmdr Dixon found when he first arrived at the scene." The brass had patched Rick Hunter, still at the New Macross air base, in on a conference call for this meeting.

"I would have to agree Captain Hunter. At this point, gentlemen, it appears this was just a random attack perpetrated by a desperate group."

"Begging the Admiral's pardon," Ben said, "but we may not know the truth of that until we find out from the civilian company exactly what was taken. If this convoy was a target for a specific reason, possibly because of something important on one of those trucks, then the whole situation changes."

"Too true Commander."

"May I suggest Admiral," Rick said, "that until we have a better idea of what's happening on that stretch of road, we increase the frequency of patrols in that area and possibly send up a Cat's Eye or two to augment the patrols."

"Agreed, Captain. Select the additional squadrons at your discretion. Blue squadron will remain here in Monument for another day or so. I would like to continue this debriefing tomorrow morning. Both of you are dismissed. Get some sleep Cmdr Dixon. Tomorrow could be a long day."

"Aye, Sir!" Ben snaps a salute and retreats from Admiral Reinhart's office. He could hear Rick acknowledge the dismissal before the comm connection closed.

It was a long slow walk to the Bachelor Officer's Quarters (BOQ) building where Blue squadron had been assigned while at the Monument City air base. The distance was not great, but Ben's state of mind stretched it to seem like kilometers. He continued to replay the day's events, searching for the one piece of evidence that would solve the mystery. He even wondered if he should have done things differently, but both Rick and Admiral Reinhart agreed his original course of action had been proper at the time. Both his superior officers realized Ben had made a tough decision based on limited information but their approval didn't ease the feeling of failure. It seemed to Ben that the bandits would have been captured if Skull had been on patrol today. It was easy to forget, through the lens of recent experience, that even the pilots of the vaunted Skull squadron were not infallible. Max or Rick might have also failed to find and capture the bandits. But it was hard for Ben to believe that coming up empty handed was not a reflection on Blue, but a reflection on the opponent.

Walking into the BOQ, Ben noticed a number of his pilots in the common room watching news on the television, trying to erase the sour taste of defeat. A few looked up as he entered, hopeful expressions, but most stayed focused on the news report. The convoy attacked was the lead story for the late news. With the perimeter now guarded by several platoons of Destroids, news crews were allowed near the canyon to broadcast. A long, slow panning shot of the line of damaged trucks crawled across the screen, a morbid parade of destruction that was more for ratings than for actual news. Ben quickly became alert when the reporter mentioned the trucks were all part of a shipment for ProtoDyne Corporation. _That name seems familiar. Where have I seen it before tonight?_ That may have been the missing clue. From what he saw earlier, there were no identifying markings on any of the smoldering hulks that Blue squadron had found in that canyon. Either ProtoDyne had to hire trucks that happened to be unmarked or they were intentionally using trucks without any identifying marks. If it was the latter, then the convoy was targeted specifically for a special shipment the company didn't want broadcast.

"You guys should get some rack time. It was a long tough day and some of you look as tired as I feel. The Admiral says the debriefing sessions are going to continue tomorrow. I want each of you well rested for that; any one of you may remember the clue we need to solve this mess," Ben said. He then went to his assigned room; he was so exhausted he thought he might fall asleep standing up. Turning out the light, he crawled under the covers, but sleep did not come easily. The problem of ProtoDyne kept his mind active for several hours before he finally drifted off.

* * *

As Ben was drifting off to sleep in the wee hours, Kim was bolting upright in bed, shaking free of the nightmare. It was different than before, but not different either, confusing Kim a bit. How did the dream Khyron know Ben was out of town? _Oh yeah, dream characters would have access to my memories and knowledge._ Other than the comment about Ben, Khyron's actions in the nightmare tonight were not substantially different from the other times Kim had dreamed it. (1) But her actions in the dream were different. Near the end of Khyron's monologue, she yelled that Ben would find her and her engagement ring again began emitting an intense argent light, forcing Khyron to let her go as he descended into the open grave. Moments after Khyron's immense hand disappeared into the ground, Kim thought she heard a Valkyrie heading her direction. Seconds before waking up, she dreamed seeing one painted in Ben's colors.

"I wonder what Dr. Petrov is going to say about this when I tell her on Monday?" She didn't need to speak out loud, but it gave her comfort to break the silence of her bedroom. Kim got out of bed and headed to the kitchen for water, feeling dehydrated after the nightmare. She really wanted to call Vanessa or Sammy, but not at this late hour. It wasn't fair to interrupt their sleep for something that ultimately wasn't an emergency. She would call in the morning though, that was for sure. Until then, Kim decided that trying to get a few more hours rest was the best course of action. The nightmare was still unpleasant, but she was no longer afraid of it.

* * *

Ben woke up to the alarm clock the next morning and began getting ready. Everyone in Blue squadron had been able to get a spare uniform from the quartermaster on base, so none of them would be forced to wear a dirty flight suit during today's debriefing sessions. Ben was relaxing his sore muscles in the shower when it hit him. He remembered where he first heard of ProtoDyne. They were the company that Khyron had stolen the protoculture unit from around Christmas! (2) If yesterday's convoy was transporting protoculture related equipment, it would have made a tempting target indeed. Ben would need to tell Admiral Reinhart about this at the first debriefing session this morning. If HQ had gotten any information from ProtoDyne about the contents of those cargo trucks, it just might be the missing piece of the puzzle. Ben finished his shower, got in his uniform and made his way to the commissary for a quick breakfast. He had a feeling he's need all the energy he could get today.

The morning debriefing sessions were being held in a large conference room. Admiral Reinhart and three of his senior staff would be at the head table of the circle of tables in the large room. The members of Blue squadron filled in the remaining table space, the more senior members closer to the Admiral's end. A pair of stenographers was in the center, near the Admiral's table. As far as Ben knew, Rick was not teleconferencing in this morning. Moments later, the entire squadron stood and snapped to attention as a boson's whistle piped the Admiral in. He and his staff took their seats before commencing the session.

"At ease and be seated gentleman," Reinhart said. "We have a lot of ground to try and cover this morning."

Ben remained standing and said, "Begging the Admiral's pardon, but has the REF received any information from the owner of that shipment? There were new reports last night saying whatever was on those trucks belonged to ProtoDyne Corporation."

"No Commander, we're still waiting for a response from the company," said one of the staffers, "but we can confirm that ProtoDyne was indeed the owner of that shipment."

"I believe that's a significant clue, Admiral," Ben continued, "because ProtoDyne was the company Khyron had stolen a protoculture power source from the week prior to his suicide attack. There's a very good chance those trucks were carrying protoculture handling equipment or parts to protoculture systems. In light of that information, there is a high likelihood the attack on that convoy was not random but very specific. It's starting to look like these bandits had some kind of connection to Khyron."

"I find myself agreeing with your assessment, Cmdr Dixon," Reinhart said. "especially since I had forgotten the prior connection between Khyron and ProtoDyne. I have no idea how the bandits had gotten hold of the information, but they obviously knew materials they needed were on those trucks."

"And it looks like they knew where they'd be able to set up an ambush and when they'd be clear of patrols. This was no amateur operation," Ben said.

"If the attack was apparently this well planned, is it reasonable to assume the bandits had escape routes planned out in advance too?" asked Lt Cmdr. Pete Turner, XO of Blue squadron.

"It certainly looks that way now, Cmdr Turner," Reinhart said. "Do any of you have a suggestion on how we're going to find this bandit crew?"

"This is going to sound a little screwy," Corporal Artis blurted out, "but why don't we trick them?"

"Trick them how, Corporal?" Ben asked.

"Well, it's starting to look like ProtoDyne has a mole passing info to the bandits, right? So why don't we have ProtoDyne put out a fake shipment, but instead of cargo, it'll be carrying REF forces."

"That's a nice idea Artis," Pete said, "but what about the battle pods the bandits have? The Valkyries are too big to go on a truck for this bait convoy and to remain undetected we'd have to fly too far away to be effective."

"Similar problem with the Destroids," Ben added. "They're able to fit on a flatbed truck, but there's no way to disguise them. It would be pretty obvious it was a Tomahawk under a tarp."

'That was the part I hadn't figured out yet," Corporal Artis said. "If only we had a mini Veritech for this."

"I might be able to help you out, gentleman," one of the other staffers said. The man looked like a Marine Brigadier General to Ben. "We have a handful of test prototypes for a ground attack vehicle based off of the Valkyrie Robotech systems. It's significantly smaller than a Valkyrie and just might be the ticket to arm this bait convoy."

A screen begins to lower at the far end of the conference room as the lights dim. A projection system is also descending from the ceiling. As the room is converting, the Brigadier begins calling up some sort of presentation on his laptop. Soon the projector begins shining a set of schematics on the screen.

"Gentlemen, I present the VHT-X Spartas Hovertank, the prototype for the next generation of ground attack vehicles."

A wave of murmurs rises through the assembled pilots.

"Don't let the plain appearance fool you. This is currently the fastest ground vehicle on the planet. And it packs a punch too."

The men of Blue squadron go silent as the next slide appears.

"In Guardian mode, the prototype mounts a single heavy beam cannon for a main gun, adapted from those used on the Tomahawks. I've been told that a more powerful high velocity 105mm cannon will be the main gun installed when these units finally go into full production."

Ben thought the craft on the slide looked like a box with legs, but the presentation holds his attention as the next slide comes up.

"In Battloid mode, you will have a 28mm gun pod. This pod is also fixed mounted facing forward in Hovertank mode. There has been talk of adding additional weapons systems specifically for Battloid mode, but those are still in the design stage."

The next slide is actually a video presentation, a small clip, probably made by the manufacturer, of the Hovertank changing between modes and shooting targets. It certainly was fast and maneuverable. Ben was starting to think this Brigadier was on to something and this hovertank thing just might be the best vehicle for this operation. Soon, the credits on the clip start rolling and the lights in the room come back up.

"Cmdr Dixon," Reinhart said, "you look like you have a few questions for General Walters."

"Yes Sir. First I was wondering if there was any plan to enclose the cockpits on these things."

"Not at this time, Cmdr, but the pilot is fully enclosed in Battloid mode. Please note, we're still quite a ways from full production and there may be design changes between now and then. Frankly, what we were hoping is that this mission will provide a good real world combat test for the Spartas system."

"How many do you have available for this operation, General?" asked Cmdr Turner.

"Four of our test bed vehicles are ready for immediate deployment. Give us a couple more days and we might be able to get as many as four more combat ready."

"If we get the green light on this operation, just who exactly will be piloting these things?" Ben was wondering if this would wind up being a joint service operation.

"How fast can you and your men learn to drive them?" Gen Walters asked. "We have a few Destroid pilots helping with the testing, but right now most of the testing staff consists of civilian technicians. None of them has any combat experience, Cmdr Dixon."

"Even the few Destroid pilots don't have your experience with changing modes in the middle of battle." added Admiral Reinhart. "I believe that will be a key factor in the surprise of our trap."

"Does your group have any simulators for these Hovertanks, General?" Ben asked.

"We have three, Commander, although it always seems like one of them is down for repairs. You'll still be able to book some time in them today though"

"Admiral," Ben said, "I think Blue squadron should get right over to those simulators ASAP. If we can handle a simulator session, we might be able to try taking one of those things for a spin."

"Okay Cmdr Dixon. I'll make it official. Blue squadron is to report to Gen. Walters for special duty. We are under a tight deadline, gentlemen. Let's see what we can do about these malcontent bandits."

The pilots of Blue squadron rise as close to one as possible, snapping off taut salutes to the flag officers, and begin filing out of the large conference room. Ben wasn't sure how much different this Hovertank was going to be to a Valkyrie, but he would probably be okay working it in Battloid mode. The simulator sessions would be the first test of whether this whole idea was even going to work though. Ben was sure the real vehicle would be fine to drive once he knew what to expect but the other members of Blue would need to get that experience as well. They were going to be forced to select a strike team from the squadron of those that adapted best to piloting these new Hovertanks, a team of eight at the maximum, but more likely four, since there would be no guarantee Walters' techs would be able to get any extra craft ready for the operation. It was certainly shaping up to be an interesting afternoon.

* * *

Kim stirred when sunlight began peeking through the slats of her window blinds. The few extra hours of rest had done her some good, not as much as an uninterrupted night of sleep, but better than tossing and turning all night. Most important, the nightmare didn't return. Looking at the clock on the dresser, Kim sees it's late enough for her friends to be up. She had to tell Sammy and Vanessa about the new variation of the nightmare. It was also strange that she wasn't dreaming the whole sequence through anymore. Since Kim had been seeing Dr. Petrov, only segments of the nightmare had run through her mind and those had been subtly altered. _Does that mean I'm finally getting better?_

Quickly throwing some sweats on, Kim phones over to Vanessa first, sure she would already be up. Her friend answered on the third ring.

"Hello?" Vanessa sounded tired.

"V, it's Kim. Can I come over? I really need to talk. I dreamed another weird twist on my nightmare again."

"Oh wow. Yes. I just put some coffee on."

"Great, just let me call Sammy first."

"She's actually already here, so just trot on over."

"Great! See you in a sec." Throwing flip flops on, Kim walks the short distance to Vanessa's house, in the front door, and straight into the kitchen. She takes a seat before her friends start

"So what happened last night?" asked Sammy.

"Well, I only had the Khyron portion of the dream last night. It started out a bit odd, with him taunting me about Ben being out of town. The rest of the nightmare was pretty much the same until the end. That's when I started yelling at him that Ben would find me and rescue me. Then my ring started glowing bright white like it did in the hallway of my dream. Khyron dropped me after that. And just before I woke up, I thought I heard Ben's Veritech coming toward me."

"Amazing." Vanessa said. "Your dreams keep altering for the better."

"Looks like that Dr. Petrov is doing some good," said Sammy.

"I guess. She had talked with me about Khyron during one of the earlier office visits, so it's not that surprising to me that portion is changing. But I haven't dreamed of Claudia or Adm. Gloval in over a week either."

"Isn't that good?" asked Sammy, clearly puzzled.

"I don't know Sammy. You'd think it was, but I just don't know. Dr. Petrov had told me to celebrate their lives. She also said 'don't wallow in their deaths' or something like that." (3) Kim had a passable imitation of the doctor's accent.

"You haven't been in a celebrating mood for a while," Sammy said.

"I don't think Dr. Petrov meant a literal celebration," Vanessa said, "but that Kim was supposed to think about happy memories of them."

"Oh. I didn't think about that," said Sammy. Her tone was a bit sheepish.

"Don't worry about it Sammy. I'll just talk to Dr. Petrov on Monday. Maybe she'll have an answer." At that the three young women sigh and stare into their coffees. It was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

Ben changed in the locker room of the unofficial proving grounds set up for testing the Spartas system. The garb he putting on was a bit similar to the flight suits he was used to, but it had a couple of different touches. The first was the hard, armor like chest plate that held telemetry and control connections. Ben also thought it was a 'mea culpa' for not fully enclosing the cockpit; Walters' techs had mentioned it would protect against small arms fire. There were also some matching armored gloves. The second was the Spartas version of his pilot's 'thinking cap' that he would be wearing today. Although the techs assured him it would function identically to his usual headgear, it still felt different. That was mostly because the Spartas helmet would need to remain fully enclosed for proper function. _Just as well,_ Ben thought. If this thing really cruised as advertised, he didn't want to get a bug in the face at speed. Closing the last connections on the driver's suit, Ben begins the short walk to the simulator room. Good luck was running with Blue squadron today; all three simulators were now functional.

"Ah, Cmdr Dixon, my name is Simmons. Simulator One is ready for you." A tech motions to a huge, boxy unit to the left of the large room. As Ben climbs in, the tech begins a rundown of the cockpit displays and controls. "The Spartas is controlled by a central yoke that will feel like a combination of a Valkyrie's main control stick and the handlebars of a motorcycle. The main informational and targeting displays are mounted in the center of the control yoke, due to some of the positional changes of the seating between the various modes. Any further questions Commander?"

"I don't think so. Let's fire this bad boy up."

The tech exited the simulator and punched in the code to seal it. Ben looked around and saw the walls were all video screens and the cockpit assembly was mounted on gimbals that would allow full rotation in all directions. _What kind of positional changes was that tech talking about? These Spartas must be super maneuverable if the simulator needs that much range of motion. _Ben noticed immediately that the HUD display didn't have as much information as his pilot's helmet. Was that because there were fewer subsystems on the Spartas? It's not like it had missiles mounted on it, which was one thing the Valkyrie's HUD kept track of. It did look like there was a counter for the 28mm gun pod; it read as having a full load of armor piercing rounds for this exercise. The tech's voice snapped over the comm. link, breaking Ben's concentration.

"Cmdr Dixon, the simulator will be starting in five…four…three…two…one."

Before the number leaves the tech's mouth, the video screens flare to life, showing a scene of flat desert surrounding the cockpit. Ben was momentarily speechless; the view was much more realistic than the Valkyrie simulators he was used to.

"Okay Commander, why don't you try some simple driving maneuvers to get used to the feel of the controls. Once you're comfortable with how the Spartas responds, we can have you try to change between modes."

"Roger that," Ben replied. He slowly twisted the throttle on the right of the yoke and the Spartas immediately moved forward. If this simulator responded anywhere near the way a real one did, then this was going to be one fast little hotrod. Ben felt a button under his right thumb and remembered from the training class that it was the throttle lock. Pushing the button would lock the throttle grip into position, like cruise control on an older car would work. Twisting the grip farther, Ben worked the Spartas up to a simulated 250 kmph and engaged the throttle lock, the scenery on the video screens whipping by his peripheral vision.

"Very good, Commander. Why don't we work on maneuvering now? Once you're used to that, I'll have you go up to top speed."

"This thing can go faster than this?"

"Yes, Commander. The Spartas has a top speed close to 400 kmph."

Ben lets out a low whistle and notices that obstacles were starting to appear ahead. At that speed the control yoke was very responsive; only a slight turn was needed to dodge the boulders and cacti now in front of him. He easily gets used to slaloming between the obstacles and twists the throttle up to top speed. The scenery became a blur. It was almost like being in a Valkyrie flying on the deck in ground support.

"Excellent Commander. Why don't you try switching to Guardian mode now? But first…"

The tech has no time to finish instructions before Ben toggles the mode control button. Suddenly the unit jumps up and begins a front flip, the cockpit chair rotating to the rear at the same time. While flipping, various bulkheads move and change configuration, the forward thrusters swinging under the Spartas and forming into legs. Out of what was now the bulkhead to his left, Ben sees the heavy beam cannon extending out of a flap on the forward facing part of the tank. Somehow the unit has also done a twist in mid-air, because even though Ben is sure his seat spun around, he is still facing forward, as determined from his original direction of motion, as the feet of the Spartas Guardian make contact with the ground and skid to a stop, throwing up a shower of rocks on the video screen.

"…you should slow down."

"Woohoo! That was cool!" Ben shouted. He noticed the HUD in his helmet was now showing available rounds for the beam cannon. Guardian mode was not designed for speed. It was most likely set up to be a stable platform for the artillery piece. The larger high velocity cannon they were planning for production would certainly need the stability. That was not to say Guardian mode was immobile. It was actually quite nimble; it just wasn't going to go 400kmph.

"I wouldn't suggest doing that in the real Spartas, Cmdr Dixon," chided the tech, "the safety factors don't allow for that transformation at top speed."

"Well Ms. Simmons, this is the perfect place to try stuff like that. And if this is anything like a Valkyrie simulator, it will allow any maneuver that's theoretically possible in these things. If you try a maneuver that's not physically possible in a real one, then - boom – it shows you crashing. Just how hard have you been pushing these things, Simmons?"

'We've been keeping them within established safety parameters, Commander."

"You people should have been pushing them well past those established safety parameters Ms. Simmons. If these simulators have been programmed properly then they'll give you tons of data on performance. You want to try and break it in here before you go get in the real deal and it busts trying something simple."

"Commander, you just completed a maneuver the design engineers probably never considered, because it was so insane!" The tech's voice was showing a little annoyance.

"That's real war, Ms. Simmons. Insanity. In the middle of a battle you may be forced to try just such an insane maneuver, because if you don't try it, you're going to die. I think that's part of why the General wanted us here. These things need a tough shake down before they get the final okay for production and he needs to know they won't be a flop."

"I'm sorry, Cmdr Dixon. I've never thought of it in those terms before."

"That's okay. Now, what's the max range on the beam cannon? I need to get back to work here."

The rest of Ben's simulator session went fairly smoothly, especially when he got a chance to shift to Battloid mode. It had the same feeling as the same mode in a Valkyrie. The only real difference was the Spartas Battloid was about half the height of what he was used to, so that would take some adjustment. But he was sure he'd be fine if the General gave the go ahead on using the real things. Ben thanked the tech as he exited the simulator and quickly made his way to where the rest of Blue squadron was waiting their turns. He drove home the point for them to try as much crazy stuff as they could think of. They needed to familiarize themselves with the system and Walters' techs needed as much data as possible too. Nobody knew exactly what the upper performance limits were on these craft, but it would be easier to have a general idea before climbing in an actual one.

Every member of Blue squadron had gotten a chance in the simulators by evening and they all sat in the mess hall comparing notes. They all followed Ben's indirect order and tried lots of crazy maneuvers, with many of the pilots causing several virtual crashes in during their individual sessions. Corporal Artis tried one maneuver so crazy it caused a literal crash of the simulator he was in. The gimbal assembly would need a full day for repairs after that move. Artis got a bit of teasing from his squadron mates, but Ben knew that in the long run, pushing things hard in here would help them get the most out these vehicles in the field if the mission got green lighted.

"You guys have done great so far," Ben said, "so just relax the rest of the time before lights out. Those of you with the best scores in the simulators today will have a chance to drive the real thing tomorrow while those of you not taking a turn in the working models will be back in the simulator. You're not being punished for poor driving; we just need as much data as possible on these hovertanks so keep trying all the crazy. Remember, it's better to break it in the simulator than out in the real world. And we might need a lot of men for this mission if Gen. Walters' people really can get more of these Spartas ready for us. Dismissed and enjoy a couple hours R&R."

* * *

Author's Notes: I was really thinking of calling the protoculture company "Solyndra", but I didn't want to risk any copyright issues, even if that company did go belly up.

(1) See the beginning of Chapter 21 for the entire nightmare sequence.

(2) See Chapter 15.

(3) Also in Chapter 21, during a session with Dr. Irina Petrov (who appears courtesy of dwparsnip).

The Chapter title is lyrics from _The High Road_ by Three Days Grace


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Tragedy strikes Blue squadron.

* * *

**Chapter 24 – Think of me. You know that I'd be with you if I could.**

Kim was finishing the last of the dinner dishes. She, Vanessa and Sammie had started eating dinner together as a way to reconnect after all they had been through, each taking a turn hosting. It was as close to how things had been on the SDF-1 when they were actually able to share quarters; the Trio had always been like sisters. As she placed the last dish in the drying rack, Kim heard the phone ring.

"Hello, Cmdr Young speaking."

"Hi, sweetie."

"Ben! Oh, I'm so glad to hear your voice! When are you coming home baby?"

"I don't know, Kim. That's why I'm calling. Admiral Reinhart has ordered us to stay in Monument City indefinitely for a special mission."

"Oh. It has something to do with that convoy attack I saw on the news doesn't it."

"Yes, unfortunately it does."

"I hope you're being careful there, mister."

"I always am, baby. Listen, Kim, I need to get going. The squadron needs to be up before the roosters tomorrow."

"Okay, Ben. Call me tomorrow night please. Love you!"

Kim hears his reply and hangs up the receiver. Lost in thought, she begins rubbing her belly, starting to show now that she is almost at five months. She and Ben haven't had many chances to talk about it, but Kim is starting to worry about how their child will be raised. Not an easy question for two parents on active military duty. Then there's the future question of duty stations. Kim had always made sure she would be stationed with Sammie and Vanessa but after she marries Ben there is no question that she will follow him. But with Ben a pilot, there was no definite schedule to which base his squadron would be at permanently. And who knows what will happen when the SDF-3 is completed. It was planned as a multi-generational ship so young couples were being encouraged to think about signing up as crew. But they needed young couples to stay on Earth as well; humanity could not totally abandon its mother world.

"Would we even want to raise our child in space?"

Said out loud her thought echoed through the empty flat. They hadn't even "laid the keel" of the new ship yet, so who knew what criteria would be used for crew selection when it was ready to launch. Already having a child might actually disqualify them from consideration. There were many things she and Ben would need to discuss when he returned from this special mission. Many indeed.

* * *

_It was good to hear Kim's voice,_ Ben thought, but he knew from the tone of her voice she was very worried for him. As a fellow officer, she understood duty, but that didn't stop her from worrying. That would be her lot in life as a pilot's spouse after the wedding. The wedding. God knows when they could schedule it, the way things are going with the malcontents and bandits. They were only hitting specialized commercial shipments right now, but these bandits might hit regular civilian traffic if they weren't stopped now. The REF wasn't going to be able to get the civilians moved out of New Macross until the bandits were stopped. The REF wouldn't have the resources to do both tasks and frankly, Ben wasn't sure the civilians would want to move in that situation. The radiation threat had to seem so vague and far off to a lot of the citizens while attack from rogue Zentraedi seemed much more likely. _Except it's the opposite, _thought Ben. The radiation was the certainty, not the bandit attacks, but to the civilians the business end of a blaster will always be scarier.

This special mission would solve one of those problems and tomorrow's live drive exercises will go a long way to determining the feasibility of the mission. Ben had stayed at the proving grounds building after the rest of the squadron had headed out for evening mess. He needed to know the final simulator scores to make assignments for the next day. Ben wasn't surprised on who had the best scores, but some of the squadron would be. Arriving back at the BOQs, Ben saw that most of the squadron was in the common room. Sending one of the corporals to fetch the missing members, Ben set up in the front of the room to detail tomorrow's duty assignments.

"Everyone here now? Good. Here's the breakdown for tomorrow. Four of us will be taking out the real Spartas units for a test drive. As good as those simulators were, it will still be a different experience than the real deal will. I'm sure a number of you remember just how different it was getting in to a real Valkyrie compared to the simulator. Expect a similar difference here with these things."

"What are the rest of us going to be doing, Commander?" asked Lt. Carter.

"Keep pounding away on those simulators. The more practice we get in them and the more data the techs from them, the better it will be for everyone. It's the only way this mission is going to fly gentlemen, and HQ and all the civilians in New Macross are counting on us."

"So who gets first turns, Boss?" asked Cpl Artis.

"The first four are, myself, Cmdr Turner, Lt. Jenks, and…" Ben couldn't resist pausing for effect. "…Cpl Barclay. I was serious about the rest of you continuing to beat on those simulators. Really. Try as much crazy stuff as you can think of. Try and pull off moves that may cause the Spartas system to break. In the simulator is where you want to try and break it, so the techs can fix things so they won't break in real life."

"What if the simulator itself breaks?" asked Lt Pauls. It was a subtle dig at Cpl Artis busting a simulator today.

"Today was a freebie. I heard the General threaten to dock pay if any of the others went up in smoke." Ben was glad his joke got a few chuckles. Loose, relaxed pilots flew better. "Okay you lugs, let's hit the hay. We all have an early day tomorrow."

As he watched his men head off to their rooms, Ben couldn't help thinking, _we're all pilots._ That thought had him a little nervous for tomorrow's live drive. Ground vehicle combat was different than aerial combat; he hoped those differences wouldn't be insurmountable.

* * *

Kim slumped under the covers, feeling exhausted although she had not really done anything strenuous today. Even dinner was a quick and easy affair. She started wondering if the extra fatigue was due to the pregnancy. _It would explain a lot, _she thought. There was no lying awake pondering life tonight; Kim drifted into a sound sleep mere moments after putting her head on her pillow. Quicker still she drifted down into her nightmare world.

Stumbling down a bramble edged path, Kim tries desperately to not get scratched by the wicked three inch thorns. Yet it has been impossible to keep her distended belly from getting scratched. Her stomach is so huge she looks two weeks late and carrying twins. _ Oh Ben, help me. _Kim hangs her head and closes her eyes in despair, on the verge of collapsing to her knees. She feels warmth on her left hand, in the area of her ring finger; the warmth is familiar. Kim does not need to look to know her ring is glowing again, emitting argent light brighter than the sun. The branches of the brambles shrank back in fear of the light, allowing her an easier passage. But she didn't know where the passage led.

After stumbling along for what seemed an eternity, the path opened up into a graveyard, near a freshly dug grave. _Oh goody, Khyron tonight, _Kim thought.

"No honey. Not that purple menace."

Kim spins around to find the source of the voice and practically runs into Claudia.

"Why are you here?" Kim stutters. Either from cold or fear, her teeth are chattering.

"It is my grave, silly," Claudia said, "but I guess you forgot that."

"But why are you in my dream?"

"Now that's a better question, girl. I am here because I'm actually jealous of a weak pathetic loser like you."

"I don't understand. What could you possibly be jealous of?"

'That jumbo sized belly of yours, baby. You have no idea how long Roy and I had been trying to have a baby. Then he had to go and get killed. I never could mourn him and let go; I loved him too much."

"So you never had kids of your own. Big deal, you were still an Aunt."

"Not the same if it's not your own. You'll learn that eventually."

Kim tries to slowly back away from Claudia, a gut feeling telling her that the shade of her friend meant her baby harm. It's impossible to escape; the brambles march around the entire perimeter of the little cemetery. Claudia floats toward Kim, grabbing at her bloated stomach.

"Damn it, I should have been pregnant first!" screamed the ghost.

Kim stumbles backwards, frantically trying to get out of the small open area of the cemetery, tripping over an exposed root and landing on her back. Except when Kim can look and focus on it, she sees it's a bony arm sticking out of the ground. She screams, losing what little composure she had remaining. The Claudia spirit takes advantage of Kim's distress, swoops in and begins clawing at Kim's belly, attempting a macabre caesarian section. Kim tries to fight it off, but the spirit is too strong. As the now demonic Claudia raises the child in bloody triumph, Kim screams and finally shakes herself free of the nightmare. But she does not make it all the way back to wakefulness. Kim will not see until morning the small spot of blood spreading on her nightgown.

* * *

Ben and the rest of Blue squadron did rise before the roosters, making their way to the mess hall for coffee and a light breakfast. They all headed to the proving grounds area to change into the Spartas battle armor, but only the lucky four would get to head to the garage area where the real machines were parked. The hovertanks had a pre-mission checklist similar to the one the squadron used for their Valkyries: fuel, ammunition, proper functioning of the controls. So far, the differences between the vehicles weren't noticeable.

Ben climbed up and into what was nominally the lead tank and thumbed the start button. The thrum of the four hover motors gave a satisfying rumble as they lifted the Spartas a foot off the ground. It didn't take much throttle to get the tank moving forward and out the large doors at the end of the hangar area. The small training squad soon moved through the fenced gates to the open desert portion of the proving grounds. Once past that point, the group had permission to increase speed to one third throttle, what the techs had called cruising speed and was about 150kmph. Full battle speed was considered two thirds to three quarters throttle and would get you up to around 275 to 300 kmph. Maximum speed, 400kmph, was full throttle and was considered emergency or flank speed.

Once the training group had gotten five kilometers from the base, they were given permission to begin maneuvers at full battle speed. One difference Ben noticed was that the Spartas had a built in GPS system rather than scanning radar, the map function being more important in a ground vehicle. Mission plots could be uploaded from battalion level radar and control systems, so the entire unit would have the correct route to a target.

"Trainer squad to base control," Ben radioed, "we're coming up on a fork in the road. Which way you want us heading?"

"Stay to the left for this test run, Cmdr. Dixon," control replied.

"Roger that control."

"Aw man," Cpl Barclay said, "to the right looks a hell of a lot more interesting on the map."

"No time for horsing around Corporal, especially on the first trip out," Ben chided the young pilot.

"I know, Commander," said Barclay. "It just that on the map the route they're sending us on looks boring."

"I don't think you'll get an argument, Barclay," Turner added in, "but we're just out here to get used to how the real thing drives. You should remember from when you were training for the Valkyrie how much the difference was from the simulator to the two-seater."

"I remember," said a chastened Corporal.

"Good. Now let's get into a single file formation. The stretch coming up looks a little narrow," said Ben.

A chorus of acknowledgments comes over the comm. link and the foursome began to snake through the desert wash, kicking up a cloud of dust.

* * *

The sun was shining in the bedroom window when Kim finally woke up. She felt awful and drained; the new variation of the nightmare was a little too personal. _Good old maternal instinct, _thought Kim. She would really need to talk to Dr. Petrov about this new twist in the dream. _Why would the Claudia in my dream want to take my baby?_ What was her subconscious trying to tell her?

Kim hears a knock at the front door. It takes a moment before she remembers that Vanessa was stopping by for coffee this morning. On the way to the bathroom, Kim yells to Vanessa that the door is open and instructs her to get a pot of coffee brewing. While she's splashing water in her face, Kim hears her friend bustling in the kitchen and soon after smells the aroma of the fresh pot of coffee. _A much better way to wake up there, right Miss Young? _Kim regards her reflection a moment before to the kitchen for some of that coffee. Vanessa was already sitting at the kitchen table when Kim entered. Waving at her friend, Kim grabbed a mug and filled it with the hot beverage. Just as she was finishing the pour, a sharp crash at the table startles her. Vanessa's mug had shattered on the floor.

"Oh my God, Kim! Are you alright?"

"What's wrong?"

"Kim, you have spot of blood on the back of your nightgown just below your butt. It's almost the diameter of a baseball."

Kim's face goes pale as recalls the dream. Pulling the back of her nightgown into view, Kim sees that the spot, while not totally fresh, is none the less still damp. A sick feeling begins forming in her stomach.

"Vanessa, you need to get me over to the medical center. After last night's dream, I have a bad feeling about this."

Vanessa nods and gets a coat for Kim before hustling the both of them out of the house and into the car. While driving to the med center, Kim tells Vanessa about last night's dream. Vanessa listens in horror at the new variation of the nightmare and speeds up the car, more worried for Kim than Kim was for herself.

* * *

Although the route was boring, Ben's training group was sent to the live fire range. The four pilots each got a chance to fire the main gun in Guardian mode and the gun pod in Battloid mode.

"Nice shooting, Commander," Barclay said, "that has to be your fifth bull's-eye."

Well, Corporal, they don't call Cmdr Dixon the 'Battloid King' for nothing," said Cmdr Turner.

Ben couldn't help feeling a little pride in that. "I always thought I did best in Battloid mode in the Valkyries. But what about Lt Jenks?"

"That's right," said Turner, "Jenks scored some pretty good hits during the artillery exercise."

"Where's you learn to shoot like that?" asked Barclay.

"I confess, I had a little prior experience," said Jenks. "My high school ROTC unit got to train on small field howitzers during senior year."

"Cheater," groused Barclay.

"Ah, you're just sore because you didn't even come close to hitting any of the targets with the beam cannon," said Ben.

"Did you even get within fifty feet of a target?" asked Jenks.

"You should have tried it blindfolded," said Turner, "because you couldn't have done any worse."

"That is not funny guys," said Barclay. You could hear the indignant tone in his voice. "The real controls are just different enough from a Valkyrie's to cause issues for me. I didn't really try any shooting in the simulators yesterday; I was concentrating on driving hard."

"Well work on cannon technique when you get back in a simulator," said Ben, "that's an order."

"Aye, aye, boss," replied Barclay.

"Alright squad, get ready to move out," Ben said.

"I hope they give a more interesting route back home," Turner said.

Luck was with the training squad; the route they were directed to gave them an opportunity to get past cruising speed and up to full speed. The route was also wide enough for some formation driving too; they wouldn't be stuck in single file. Soon it was Cpl Barclay's turn to lead the formation. His hovertank zoomed ahead to the point position. Ben could almost hear the young officer's delight at opening the throttle up. But Barclay kept pulling away from the rest of the squad.

"Hey, Barclay," ordered Ben, "close it up, you're getting too far ahead."

"I can't Commander; the throttle seems to be sticking."

"This is no time for horsing around, Barclay! Slow down and move back into the formation!"

"I'm not joking about this, boss. The throttle really is sticking. How do you get this thing to slow down?"

Ben heard the note of fright in the Corporal's voice; he was telling the truth. "Power off the whole vehicle, Corporal, and we'll get a hauler out here to collect the Spartas."

"I've been hitting the power button, Cmdr. It won't shut off!"

"Control, are you hearing this?" Ben asked.

"Affirmative, Cmdr Dixon," crackled over the TACNET. "You'll need to disengage the main breaker."

"You mean Barclay will need to disengage the breaker."

"Negative, Commander, the circuit breaker panel cannot be reached by the pilot."

"Somebody do something!" Barclay said, panic beginning to rise. "This thing feels like it's accelerating!"

"Keep it in a straight line, kid," Cmdr Turner said, trying to keep the young pilot calm, "and we'll be able to do something soon."

"Control, can you feed an engineering diagram to my display screen, ASAP?"

"Yes, Commander, I've highlighted the breaker panel."

"Are you insane Ms. Simmons? That panel is on the underside of the Spartas when it's in hovertank mode!"

There was no easy way to solve this problem according to standard protocols. That meant trying something outside the box. Ben comes up with a crazy idea. It was something he had tried in the simulator yesterday.

"Barclay! Switch to Guardian mode! Now!"

"If you say so, Boss!"

Barclay's voice didn't show much confidence, but he did as ordered. The Spartas vaulted up and began the conversion between modes. Legs folded out and the beam cannon began emerging from a bulkhead. As it returns upright, the feet dig into the loose gravel and begin to slow the vehicle down. Then disaster struck. The feet of Barclay's Spartas catch on a boulder in its path, causing it to pitch forward. The muzzle of the beam cannon sticks into the ground and the hovertank vaults into the air, rotating end over end, landing cockpit side down with a sickening crunch.

"BARCLAY!"

Ben drives his Spartas to the crash site and skids to a halt. He can already see a trickle of blood seeping out from underneath the wreckage. Leaping out, he vainly tries to lift the ruined vehicle off his subordinate.

"Control, we need a medivac shuttle, ASAP!" said Cmdr Turner.

"Stand aside Skipper," said Jenks, "let a little muscle take care of that."

Moving his Spartas into position in Battloid mode, Jenks grabs the edge of Barclay's hovertank and levers it up like a crane. Ben ducks under the dented hull and pulls Barclay out of the badly damaged cockpit. After Ben has gotten clear, Jenks lowers the hovertank back down. Reaching for Barclay's neck to check for a pulse, Ben tries not to look at the stump where Barclay's right hand used to be. Feeling nothing, Ben puts his head to Barclay's chest, but hears nothing and sees no motion. The right side of Barclay's chest was flattened, all the ribs on that side crushed. Slumping down to a sitting position, Ben slowly shakes his head: Barclay was dead, killed instantly by the final impact. He doesn't notice the medivac shuttle circling to land.

* * *

Kim lay in the examination bed on the OB/GYN floor, waiting for some news about what was going on with her baby. Vanessa was pacing around the room, being nervous enough for the both of them. Several different doctors and nurses had been in and out of the room, performing various tests, drawing blood, and setting up an IV drip. Now it was just the slow wait for results to come back from the labs. After what felt like days, Dr. Jean Grant, CMO of the REF, enters the rooms.

"Well, Kim, the good news is that the baby is fine. Now that was a large bit of spotting, but that's all it really was. The baby's heartbeat is still strong and she'll be fine."

"So what's the bad news Dr. Grant?" Kim asked.

"You're the bad news, deary," Jean said, "until you can get your stress levels down. Hasn't seeing Irina been helping?"

"Seeing Dr. Petrov has been helping; she gave me the weekend off for good behavior. It's just that I've had some really different and weird twists happening in my dream recently, stuff I'll need to talk with her about at our next appointment."

"Okay, I just had to make sure that was covered. But I'm serious about reducing your stress level young lady. If you can't, I might have to have you stuck in here on bed rest for the last few months of your pregnancy. You don't want that, believe me."

"Then let's hope Dr. Petrov keeps working her magic," said Kim.

"Excuse me Dr. Grant," interrupted Vanessa," but I couldn't help noticing you referred to the baby as 'she'. Is it a girl, Doc?"

"Damn. You girls are too smart for your own good sometimes. They did an ultrasound to make sure the baby was okay and legally I'm supposed to ask the parents if they want to know the sex before I go blurting it out."

"It's no big deal, Dr. Grant. I did want to know what the sex was," Kim said.

"Yeah, it will make shopping for the baby shower much, much easier," Vanessa said.

The three women share a laugh, all relieved that the baby was doing well.

* * *

It was a long slow ride back to the proving ground hangar for Ben and the remaining members of the training squad. They had to stay waiting for a flatbed truck to arrive at the crash site for a few hours after the med team took Barclay's body to the morgue. The project's technical teams wanted a good look at the wreckage, to see if the accident was caused by a random equipment failure or if a systemic flaw was involved. These test bed vehicles had black box data recorders specifically for the research teams; they wouldn't be installed in the production models. If and when they ever went in to production; that could be in doubt if a major design flaw was involved.

When they finally parked the hovertanks back in the hangar, a private came up and informed Ben that General Walters wished to speak with him. Ben wasn't really in the mood to talk with anyone, never mind the General, but he wasn't going to disobey orders either. He walked at a deliberate pace to the General's office, stopping only to knock on the door upon his arrival.

"Come in," came the muffled reply. Ben entered and saluted.

"Cmdr Dixon reporting as ordered, Sir."

"Sit down, Commander. I know this must be a difficult time for you, but I wanted you to know that as long as the technicians don't find anything unusual with the crashed Spartas, then we will be continuing training rides tomorrow. I realize it may be more helpful for you and your men to have some time off to mourn the loss of Cpl Barclay, but this mission to stop the bandits is of the utmost importance. Unless a serious design flaw in the Spartas itself is discovered in the black box data, the mission will proceed. Do you have any questions, Commander?"

Ben tosses an object on the General's desk before speaking. "If you're not going to be enclosing the cockpits on these things, could you at least install a god damn roll bar?" Ben rises before continuing. "If you'll excuse me General, I need to call my fiance then go write a letter of condolence to Cpl Barclay's parents."

Ben salutes and exits the office, leaving the General alone to contemplate the crushed and bloodied lump of metal now sitting on his desk, metal that had been Barclay's helmet .

* * *

Author's notes: This was a tough chapter to write, having a lot I wanted to cover for both Ben and Kim. Writing it was a bit emotionally draining as well. Hope this chapter tides my fans over, because I'll be working on a chapter for Robotech:Macross next, the Robotech reboot from OhioGuy that he has asked me to help with. I hope everyone has been enjoying both stories.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Hello, It's Me _by Todd Rundgren.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: All Robotech characters and vehicles are property of Harmony Gold USA.

Will the secret mission be scrubbed?

**Chapter 25 – They got a message from the Action Man**

* * *

_This has to be the worst task a commanding officer has to do,_ thought Ben.

He had finally gotten chance to sit and write a condolence letter to Barclay's parents. He knew from the young man's file that his family was still alive to write to, having been on Macross Island since the beginning of the long strange trip of the past several years. Yet there were so many other pilots and crew members that had lost their entire families during the Rain of Death. Ben wasn't even sure what to write; this was the first subordinate to die under his command.

_I wonder how Rick learned to deal with it?_

* * *

"I'm glad you could stay the night, Vanessa," Kim said. "I'll need the help with Ben gone until God knows when."

"Any time; you know Sammy and I are both here for you," Vanessa said, "because we're family now."

"Dr. Petrov will probably have some interesting comments at my appointment tomorrow," Kim said. "Those were some crazy dreams this weekend."

"You can worry about that after a good night's sleep. You heard what Dr. Grant said."

"Yeah, yeah. I still want to watch the news before I grab some shut-eye."

The pair slowly makes their way into Kim's house, dropping a few things on the kitchen table before flopping on the couch. It had been a long tiring day for both women. Grabbing the remote, Kim turned on the television and waited for the news to start, hoping to hear something about the evacuation of the civilians out of New Macross City. They began chatting about the baby while they were waiting, so neither woman was paying complete attention to the broadcast when the first story came up, a brief teaser about the weather forecast. The next story didn't grab their attention either, until the news anchor said one particular phrase.

"One pilot dead…"

Two heads whipped toward the small screen in shock. They were completely focused on the report now.

"…apparently in a training accident near Monument City," the anchor continued on. "Authorities have not released the name of the victim, saying the next of kin have not been notified yet. The accident occurred in remote wilderness and no other injuries were reported."

The color had drained from Kim's face by the end of the report. She had been wondering why Ben hadn't called yet tonight. She now had an answer and Kim began sliding into a state of shock, that same sensation of numbness that had taken her over the day of Khyron's final attack. The way she felt when she had thought Ben had died that day.

"We don't know that it was Ben," Vanessa said. She grabbed Kim's shoulder and tried to make sure Kim stayed focused.

'Then why hasn't he called?" Kim asked. Her voice was flat and weak.

"He may still be in the middle of a debriefing, Kim. And as CO, there are things he has to take care of when one of his subordinates is killed."

"Or they didn't consider me 'next of kin'," Kim said quietly.

"Hello! If Ben was dead, don't you think that someone would have called you by now? I know his Mom and Dad would have called you if they had heard anything!" Vanessa said. She was trying to stop Kim from shutting down emotionally. She was running out of ideas when the phone rang; Kim got a horrified look from that sound. Vanessa knew Kim would be too scared to answer; she would have to answer it for her.

"Hello, Cmdr Young's residence," Vanessa said into the receiver.

"Hey V, what are you doing at Kim's house? Is she there?" came a tired voice from the receiver.

It was Ben. Relief shone in Vanessa's expression as she filled in Ben on the last few minutes.

"I'll pass the phone to her, Ben; she'll be glad to hear your voice. We just saw a news report that someone died up near Monument."

"Yeah, that kind of ruined my afternoon. It was Cpl Barclay. There was what appeared to be a freak accident with the test vehicle he was in. He died instantly, crushed by the vehicle when it flipped over."

"I'm so sorry, Ben," Vanessa said. "That's never an easy thing to deal with."

"No it's not. It was even tougher on the rest of us. After Barclay's remains were airlifted back to base, we were ordered to stay with the wreck until a recovery vehicle arrived, on account of it being a prototype. I guess the research techs didn't want anyone tampering with the evidence."

"Evidence?"

"Yeah. Anything could have been a clue as to what happened, not just the black box. Can I talk to Kim now? She must have freaked."

"You're not too far off," Vanessa said. "I'll put her on."

As she brought the handset over to her friend, Vanessa could see the tracks of tears on Kim's cheeks. But there was also an expression of relief as well. The tears were of happiness.

"You got some 'splaining to do, Mister," Kim said. Her voice cracked, but it was clear she was trying to cheer Ben up and to let Ben know she was glad he was still alive.

"This was the first free moment I've had since the accident happened," Ben said. "I would have called sooner if I could."

"I realize that now, but I couldn't help thinking the worst when I heard that news report."

"I'm harder to kill than that," Ben said. "Listen, I've heard from the brass that this accident won't change the training schedule or the mission timing unless the techs find a serious defect in the vehicle itself, something that may be affecting all the prototypes."

"How important is that mission if you can't even have time to mourn?"

"We're getting top priority. The civilians won't be moved until these bandits and malcontents are taken care of."

"Be careful, Ben, just in case that accident wasn't an accident."

"I always am, sweetheart," Ben said. "I have to get off the phone now. I have another early day tomorrow. Love you!"

"I love you too!"

Kim held the handset for a few moments after Ben had hung up. She was glad her fears were unfounded, but she couldn't help thinking it was just a matter of chance that Ben wasn't the one who wrecked.

"I think I'm done watching the news, Vanessa. It's time for bed."

* * *

It was before dawn again when Ben and the rest of Blue squadron made their way into the training hangar. There was none of the usual joking and teasing that normally permeated the locker room. Everyone had been affected by Barclay's death, but all were not dealing with it in the same way. Some faces held a haunted look, from a sleepless night pondering if they were next. Others held a grim determination, willing to go above and beyond their capabilities to honor their fallen comrade. But most faces held a stoic expression, each man keeping their thoughts to themselves. Ben wasn't sure what people would see in his expression; a mix of emotions was seething though him this morning.

"Excuse me, Cmdr Dixon?"

Ben looked up to see one of the junior level technicians trying to get his attention.

"What is it?"

"The General needs to see you right away, sir."

"Let him know I'm on my way," Ben told the underling.

"What was that all about, Boss?" asked Cmdr Turner.

"I'm not sure, Pete," Ben said. "Get these guys suited up and in the simulators while I find out what's bugging Walters."

"You got it, Boss."

Ben exited the locker room and made his way through the halls of the administrative wing of the building. _What did the General want?_ thought Ben. It could have been any of a handful of reasons he needed to see the blue squadron CO. Reaching the General's office, Ben raps quickly on the door. Like last night, Ben hears a muffled reply granting permission to enter the office.

"You wanted to see me, General?" Ben asked. "I want to apologize about last night. I was still feeling a bit raw."

"That's okay, Commander. I would have been just as raw and you did have a valid point about the rollbar. That's not why I've asked you here though. I have some information about the hovertank wreckage."

"Did the technicians find a systemic problem with the Spartas system, General?"

"Worse."

The reply came from behind Ben. Turning, he sees the lead technician standing in the corner.

"What could possibly be worse, Ms. Simmons?" Ben asks.

"My people went over that hovertank with a fine toothed comb last night. We made a very disturbing discovery, Commander."

The technician had a very distraught look on her face, as if she didn't want to reveal the news.

"It's alright, Gloria," Gen. Walters said. "I wouldn't have asked Cmdr Dixon here if I didn't want him to hear this."

"Very well, General," Ms Simmons said. "Cmdr Dixon, one of the research staff discovered that the hovertank crash was no accident."

"What are you trying to say, Ms Simmons?" Ben asked.

"What I'm saying Commander, is that Barclay's Spartas was sabotaged."

Ben's initial shock from the revelation was quickly replaced with anger.

"Whoever did this," continued Ms. Simmons, "knew enough to wire things so the throttle wouldn't get stuck until after the hovertank had reached or exceeded maximum cruising speed."

"I'll need to bring a JAG investigator in," the General said. "We need to know if Barclay was the specific target or just unlucky."

"I think you have a bigger problem, General," Ben said. "You might have a saboteur on your staff."

* * *

For waking up at dawn, Kim felt very refreshed, much better than the normal Monday. She had no dreams of consequence last night, allowing her to get a well needed rest. _Just what the doctor ordered, _Kim chuckled to herself. Quietly walking to the kitchen, she sees Vanessa asleep on the couch; the taller woman insisted on staying the night, in case Kim was taken by another nightmare during the night. Vanessa was on duty today, but Sammy was more than willing to accompany Kim when she went for her appointment with Dr. Petrov later that morning.

"How did I ever deserve friends like these?" Kim said softly to herself. She begins making a pot of coffee, knowing that both her friends would need it soon.

* * *

"Don't think I haven't thought of that, Commander," General Walters said, "but everyone of the technicians on this research team has been working with us for several years. I just can't imagine any of them would betray me?"

"They may not be doing it willing, General," Ben said. "Whoever it is may be getting coerced or blackmailed."

"I don't think I was ready to accept that line of thought, Commander, but what you say does make sense."

"We do have some good news for you Commander," Ms Simmons said. "We have been able to get four additional Sparta units up and running."

"Gloria was able to get a replacement shipment of parts in. They arrived yesterday morning, while your group was out on the training course," the General announced.

"It's a good thing I have a friend at ProtoDyne who owed me a favor. He was able to get a couple of trucks here with the bare minimum we needed." The head technician had a pleased look on her face.

"Wait a minute. ProtoDyne? Was the shipment that was hijacked heading here?" Ben couldn't keep the shock out of his voice.

"A good part of it was," confirmed the General, "but the rest was just regular spare parts for the squadrons based here in Monument City."

Ben starts swearing under his breath. This whole mission had just taken a very sharp turn away from the original objectives.

"Is everything alright, Commander?" asked Ms Simmons. "I thought you'd be pleased more hovertanks were available?"

"That's not the issue. At the hijacking debriefing a couple of days ago, the idea was that a mole was at ProtoDyne. What if the mole was here instead?"

"What would the connection with the sabotage be then?" Gloria asked.

"My guess would be to either cover their tracks or throw off the investigation," Ben said. "They may even be trying to get the mission scrubbed."

"Then we'd have no way of keeping this person from warning the malcontents about the little trap we're planning," General Walters said. He clearly grasped what Ben had realized.

"Not unless we can ferret them out first," Ms Simmons said.

This time the General swore. Everyone in the room had come to the same conclusion on the problem. What they needed now were answers.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," the General said. "First, whatever has been discussed in this room stays confidential. Our lives could depend on it. Second, Cmdr Dixon will only tell his squadron that the issue appears to be a one-off failure. We need to keep the sabotage info under wraps for now. And confine your men to the simulators today. Tell them we're not done checking the rest of Spartas. Third, your people need to check out those other seven Spartas today, Gloria. But set things up so that nobody in your group touches more than one of them. Tell them whatever excuse you have to, but keep those techs isolated while they're working on the equipment."

"That way if there happens to be another problem, we can isolate things to the crew that worked on that particular hovertank!" Ms Simmons said. "Very clever, General!"

"So we're going on the assumption that this person doesn't know we're on to them yet. Correct?" Ben asked.

"Yes, Commander. I realize this puts you in a difficult position, but there's no other way to do it at the moment."

"I understand, General."

"I want to reiterate: nothing we discussed this morning leaves this room! Any other questions?"

Neither Ben nor Ms Simmons had additional questions. At the General's dismissal, they both went off to start their difficult tasks, both avoiding any mention of the somber topic that was just under discussion.

* * *

Ben walked at a deliberate pace back to the rest of Blue squadron. They were taking turns in the simulators and appeared to be having productive sessions. He stepped into the control room area to check the video feeds and telemetry from each simulator. Each of the three pilots currently working was doing their utmost to break the virtual hovertank, following Ben's orders from the previous day. With a satisfied nod Ben went in search of his XO and found him riding herd over the pilots waiting for their turns in the simulators.

"Hey, Boss, what's the word from the General?" Cmdr Turner asked.

"He said that whatever caused Barclay's hovertank to go crazy doesn't look like it was a design flaw, but the techs will be looking over all the Spartas systems to double check," Ben said.

"Did they have an ETA on completion?"

"No, but the head tech said they got four more up and running, so they have seven to check now."

"That's some good news," Pete said, "although it probably means nothing but simulator work today."

"I'm afraid so, Pete, so keep the guys working hard and make sure they're working in all modes with gunnery practice."

"You got it, Boss," Pete said. Then he turned back to the rest of the men and made sure they had the revised instructions.

Ben hated not telling Cmdr Turner the truth about Barclay's crash, but he knew that the General was correct in limiting the number of people who had access to that information. If the saboteur was part of the research team or the general's staff, they had to avoid alerting that person that Ben was on their tail. _We need to catch them before the mission starts, or before another one of my men gets hurt, _Ben thought.

* * *

Sammy sat in the passenger seat, yawning again as Kim drove the pair to Dr. Petrov's office. A big mug of Kim's strongest coffee hadn't kicked in yet, leaving the small blond feeling far from awake.

"Why am I coming with you again?" asked Sammy.

"Because Vanessa had to work and it's never a good idea to go to a medical appointment alone," Kim said.

"Whatever," Sammy replied. She leaned back in her and tried to nap, but she was just awake enough to not fall back asleep.

It was a short drive and the two women were soon walking in to the medical office. Kim checked in with the receptionist then went to sit down with Sammy.

"It seems like they'll never clear me to go back to duty," Sammy said. "I only had a concussion, not something serious."

"You call that 'Not serious'? You would have died in the hospital if the CAT scan didn't find the cranial bleeding. And they had to keep you in a coma for two weeks!"

"But it's not like I had a broken arm like Vanessa did," countered Sammy. "She's already back at work."

"Vanessa was probably the least injured of the three of us," Kim said.

"Uh, Cmdr Young?" the receptionist cut in, "Dr. Petrov will see you now."

Kim gives Sammy a reassuring pat on the shoulder before rising to enter the doctor's inner sanctum. Upon opening the door, Kim sees the counselor already sitting at her desk. Taking the black leather armchair to the left, Kim seats herself and prepares for an interesting session. Dr Petrov wasted no time in starting.

"I understand you had an exciting weekend, Ms Young." Irina said.

"Did Dr Grant fill you in on yesterday's trip to the medical center?"

"Of course. She is as worried as I for your health my dear and felt it her responsibility to keep me informed, since I am a specialist you are seeing." Dr Petrov spoke in a matter-of-fact tone and had a slight smile playing across her lips.

"Well, I was going to bring it up myself today anyway. I think the medical issue affecting me was a direct result of the nightmare I had Saturday night."

Kim saw Irina's eyebrow shoot up at that last statement. Kim wasn't sure if that meant the doctor was or was not expecting a relapse.

"I am hoping you are willing to discuss this new occurrence," Irina said after quickly regaining her composure.

"Yes doctor. It was a dream that only involved Claudia," Kim said.

"Ah yes, the late Cmdr Grant," Irina said. "Please continue."

"It started at the entrance to the area in my dreams where her grave was. I was looking and feeling extra pregnant while I wandered around the grounds. Then Claudia appeared out of nowhere, complaining about how she had never gotten pregnant with Roy, griping about how someone like me shouldn't have been pregnant. Then she ripped the baby out of me. That was the last I remembered of the dream. I didn't wake up until the next morning and that's when Vanessa saw the spotting on my nightgown."

"Was there anything else you remember about the dream?"

"My engagement ring was glowing like a spotlight again. It was keeping away all the thorn bushes that had sprung up around the cemetery."

"What element troubled you most about that dream?"

"I think the first thing that caught me as odd was that Claudia never showed she was jealous about anything when she was still alive."

"And…"

"She never acted towards me or any of the trio with anything but respect and friendship. We always felt she was like a big sister or favorite aunt."

"So it must have been surprising to have her attacking you."

"I was shocked. But I was more worried about protecting the baby. I felt horrified that I couldn't stop her from taking my daughter."

"It must have been a great relief to find out the baby was fine when you got to the medical center, but you must have had an awful time sleeping last night."

"Truthfully doc, last night was the best I slept in weeks. I think the reassurance that everything was alright with the baby set mind at ease. It's been a blessing my friends have been such a big help too."

"But not Cmdr Dixon?" asked Dr. Petrov.

"Ben has been posted to Monument City for a special mission. I'm worried for him, but I know he had no choice on it."

"It will not be easy being a military spouse, and doubly difficult with yourself also being in the military."

"Between friends and family, I think Ben and I will be able to manage. His Mom is so excited to be a grandma," Kim said, a smile on her face.

"I must say, I believe the dream to have been more about you having worries about your child than any other thing, although the presence of Cmdr Grant in this particular dream puzzles me."

"What do mean doctor?"

"It is very natural to have such dreams about your unborn child, especially for those having their first child, but there should be no connection to the death of your friend and superior."

"Oh, except there is a connection. After I found out I was pregnant, I started thinking about the usual things, like names, and was considering asking Claudia to be a godparent."

"Aha, the missing link surfaces! It all makes perfect sense now. I should think this is a sign you are recovering nicely, even if it doesn't feel as such to you."

"I thought it meant I was relapsing." Kim said. Her voice was tinged with embarrassment.

"It is the situation of one step backwards then two steps forward. Frankly, you are actually doing much better than I would have expected after the number of sessions we have already had."

"That's a relief! Dr Grant said I needed to cut back on any stress affecting me."

"I think with the reassurance you have gotten regarding your child that your stress level will be dropping quite a bit. Now, I have one more question for you before our session is over today."

"What did you need to know doctor?" Kim asked, her tone apprehensive.

"I must ask you something very important," Irina said with a very serious tone. "I must ask you…what have you selected for baby names?" A merry twinkle invades Dr Petrov's eyes as she finishes her query.

After a quick moment of surprise, Kim smiles and the two women begin to share some warm laughter.

* * *

_Appointment notes: Monday, 24 January, 2013._

_Patient: Young, Lt. Cmdr, Kimberly_

_The step back in Ms Young's recovery was smaller than I would have thought possible to hope for. The approaching arrival of the birth of her child is doing more than might be suspected of pulling Ms Young towards recovery. It is with a bit of irony that I believe I will soon be able to clear the Lt Commander for duty, just in time for her to go on maternity leave. But that is the best outcome I could hope for. It will give her a few weeks of normal sleep, anyway._

_My original intuition on the people available for Ms Young's emotional support has been remarkably spot on, but such a thing is easy to see when a person such as she has wonderfully close friends and family. I have suggested that her next appointment can be set up for next week. I hope she will choose next Monday, but she must come to see me by no later than Friday of next week, as long as she remains nightmare free._

* * *

It was a long day in the simulators for Blue squadron, every man wanting as many turns as possible to hone skills and experiment with tactics. Near the end of the day, the technicians were able to merge the feeds from the simulators, allowing the pilots to train as three person squads. Everyone had shown such a large improvement since the previous day, possibly silent homage to their fallen comrade. It was almost enough to get Ben to forget the issue of Barclay's murder. Almost.

There was no avoiding the conclusion: since the crash was not an accident, then Barclay's death was not accidental, it was murder. If it was that obvious to Ben, who had no legal training, then it would be a slam dunk for a real prosecutor. All they needed to do was catch the culprit. Unfortunately, with the stricture to not reveal any of what he knew to his men, Ben was nearly helpless to investigate as fully as he needed with the help of the whole squadron.

There was also some mixed news from Gloria Simmons, the lead tech on the hovertank project. Her staff was done checking every bolt on all seven available Spartas and they were ready for live training tomorrow. While on the whole Ben was glad to be getting back to using the real vehicles, a part of his mind worried that he was setting up whichever of the men trained live the next day to be bait in a trap for the malefactor. It was a night of uneasy rest for Ben after a tasteless meal in the mess hall.

* * *

Ben was still full of foreboding the next morning, made worse by the prohibition to withhold information from the men of his squadron. His sour thoughts left him with an even worse appetite than a dinner last night. He sat morosely alone at breakfast, slowly stirring his scrambled eggs, but not actually eating any bites.

"Whoa, big brother, you must be sick if you're not already on seconds."

Ben looks up at the sound of the familiar voice; turning to his right he sees Max and Miriya. With an energetic leap up from his seat, Ben catches both of his friends in a bear hug.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We were sent to observe the training and evaluate the equipment," Max said.

"Captain Hunter thought we should be prepared to work with your strike team for the upcoming mission," Miriya added. "He believed that Skull would be tasked as your backup."

"Did you come up here on a shuttle or in your Valkyries?" Ben asked.

"Our VT's," Max said. "We were kind of hoping we'd get a chance to play too."

"We have both felt something has been missing since we were all given new assignments," Miriya said.

"I've missed you guys too," Ben said, his trademark grin shining from his face.

"I was surprised to see a Zentraedi here at the facility," Miriya said. "I was not aware that any would have been given access to a project such as this, even if they had been micronized."

"Are you absolutely sure you saw another Zentraedi here?" Ben asked. "As far as I knew, there were none on General Walters' staff."

"I am very certain of what I saw, Benjamin," Miriya stated. "It was definitely a micronized male Zentraedi and he had on coveralls typical of a mechanic or technician."

"Can you show me where you saw him?"

"Affirmative. Follow me."

Ben and Max trail after Miriya through the corridors until they reached an intersection near the hangar bay.

"I saw him here and he was heading in that direction," Miriya said. She was pointing in the exact direction of the hangars.

Without a word, Ben bolts at a dead sprint, hoping to catch the mystery intruder, dodging around the few people already in the hallway. Max and Miriya trailed after him, not sure what had gotten into their friend. When they finally caught up with Ben, then found him in the middle of the hangar bay, slowly turning around and scanning the areas between the craft, cursing in a low, angry tone.

"What's wrong, Ben" asked Max. His voice had a tone of concern, but his eyes were rapidly scanning the room, trying to see what Ben was searching for.

"He's not in here," Ben said. "He slipped out before I got here."

"By your reaction, Benjamin, can I assume this male was not part of the authorized staff of this facility?"

"There shouldn't be any Zentraedi anywhere on this base, micronized or not. You may have seen our security leak, Miriya. I think we're going to have to see General Walters, so you can provide a description of this person."

"Leak?" Max asked. "What the heck is going on here?"

"I'll be able to tell you when we get to the General's office. I'm under orders to keep this information under wraps, but what Miriya saw changes the whole ball game."

The two warrior spouses look at each other, their expressions each silently asking the question: "What have we just gotten involved with?"

* * *

Dr Irina Petrov appears courtesy of dwparsnip.

Chapter title is lyrics from _Ashes to Ashes_ by David Bowie.

Next chapter: Have they found the mole, or something worse?


End file.
